


Trois

by patchfire, raving_liberal



Series: Story of Three Boys [128]
Category: Glee
Genre: Babies, Coming Out, Easter Eggs, Family, M/M, OT3, Surrogacy, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:05:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchfire/pseuds/patchfire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three people. Three couples. One triad. This is their (good) life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Give Thanks

**Author's Note:**

> All good things... Just like the best shows and movies, everything has a conclusion, and this is the concluding story cycle for our threeboys.

As far as Noah can tell, the problem with Carole getting a little bit of her shit together, after Kurt informed her of a few things the previous year at Thanksgiving, is that she and Burt had decided to stay the entire week of Thanksgiving again. 

Now that they’re in the house, Noah knows that there’s not really a good reason for Burt, Carole, and Audrey not to. Burt and Carole in the guest room, Audrey in with Eliza, and everyone’s going to have plenty of space. Still, it means that it’s still days before Thanksgiving while he and Kurt are at home with the kids and Finn goes to meet Burt and Carole at LaGuardia. It also means that Burt, Carole, and Audrey are going to be there on their Tuesday, and Noah’s not quite sure how that’ll play out, either. From everything Noah gathers, Carole still has herself convinced that Finn’s completely straight and just living with them ‘for now’, waiting for another woman to come along. 

“I still say we should pass out hot chocolate and coffee,” Noah says, looking out the front window. “As long as no one takes our stairs, that is.”

“You wouldn’t think people would try to sit on the stairs of a private residence, even for the parade.” Kurt shrugs a little. “But I don’t see why not. As long as we have enough disposable cups.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard.” Noah moves away from the window when he spots Finn just across W 70th. “Here they come.”

“Aunt Audrey’s almost here!” Eliza says, turning to the Peas. “Did you hear that? Aunt Audrey!”

Harvey claps and then grabs Charlie’s hands, doing a dance that the two of them appear to understand perfectly, even though no one else can ever predict the next step they’ll do. They only get through a portion of it before all of them can hear the door open, and Eliza leads them towards the door. 

“Aunt Audrey!”

“Niece Eliza!” Audrey responds. “And Nephew Harvey and Niece Charlie!”

“Odd!” Harvey says. “Odd’s here!”

“Odd! Odd here! Odd here!” Charlie shrieks in agreement. 

“Oh, look at you three,” Carole says as they walk into the living room. “You’ve grown since we saw you. How’s first grade, Eliza?”

Charlie continues shrieking excitedly over Carole. “Pada! Pada! Odd here! Gamma here! Allbody here!”

“Fine,” Eliza says to Carole, and then she turns to smile and wave at Burt.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Burt says.

“Can we let everybody get through the door all the way?” Finn asks. “Mom, the guest room is on the lowest level, so we’ll go through to the back here, and down to drop off your bags.” He’s laden with bags and pulling a rolling suitcase with several more bags stacked on top of it.

“Wait just a second, honey.” Carole stops and looks around. “Oh, this is lovely! Can we have a tour? We can start downstairs, then, I suppose?”

“Bags, Mom,” Finn says. “Shoulder. Heavy bags on my shoulder.”

“I’ll take one, Dad,” Eliza says, holding her hand out. 

“You’ve been trying to carry the bags since you were two,” Noah says with a laugh. “Still not quite big enough, sweet potato.”

“Oh, of course,” Carole says. “Just lead the way.”

Finn heads through the dining room to the stairs, hauling the bags along with him. Everybody else follows him like a strange procession of mismatched ducklings. Noah picks up Harvey as Kurt gets Charlie, and Noah shakes his head with Harvey. 

“Do you think we’ll have to show them every bathroom, Harv?” he says quietly, and Harvey laughs. 

“Poo!”

“Poo poo poo poo!” Charlie sings, pointing at Harvey. “Obby say poo poo poo poo!”

“Oh, excellent.” Noah laughs. “Now you’re getting started.”

“Language like that, you know who they take after,” Finn calls over his shoulder.

“You guys are funny,” Audrey remarks. 

“So this is the basement level?” Carole asks when they get downstairs. “Which one is the guest room?” 

“The one with the bedroom,” Finn answers, sounding slightly irritated. “That’s the studio, guest room’s up here,” he adds, nodding with his head. 

“There’s an en suite bathroom,” Kurt says to Carole, “and then the other room over there is storage. Audrey, we thought we’d put you upstairs with the kids, instead of in here with Dad and Carole.” He grins a little as he looks from Audrey to Burt. “We thought all three of you might prefer that.”

“You guessed right, kid,” Burt says. “Audrey’s getting a little big to share a room with her old parents.”

“I’ve been too big for that for _years_ ,” Audrey says.

“What a lovely room,” Carole says as she steps inside the guest room. “And such a nice size for a guest room. I can’t wait to see everything else.” She turns to Kurt and Charlie. “Want to come see me, sweetie?” she asks Charlie, holding out her arms.

“Poo!” Charlie replies happily. “Gamma go poo!”

“Well.” Carole looks flustered. “Are you going to show me your room, Charlie?”

Charlie allows Carole to take her and then points towards the stairs. “Peas sleepin, shhh.”

“Yeah, they do mostly sleep in their room, not play,” Finn explains. “We have a playroom and toy bins in the foyer, so they play there a lot.”

“Oh, I did notice that,” Carole says, nodding. “But they’re sharing a room still?”

“Wouldn’t try to separate them,” Noah says wryly, one eye on Kurt whispering to Finn, probably about his shoulder. Finn shrugs and shakes his head. 

“Tarlie, me, Peas,” Harvey says seriously to Carole, pointing at Charlie and then himself in turn. “Liza not Pea. Papa not Pea.”

“Oh, okay,” Carole says. She still looks slightly confused as they all head back up the stairs. 

“And you saw part of this level before. Through there is the kitchen,” Kurt says, pointing. “We can go on up to the kids’ rooms, though.”

“This place is even bigger than you described,” Burt says. 

“Well, there’s enough of us,” Kurt says with a small grin. “And having the studio here has been a huge help.”

“Sometimes I practice piano down there,” Eliza supplies. “And Pa— Puck is teaching me guitar. I want to try the saxophone, but it just goes ‘splllut’.”

“Not quite big enough for that, either,” Noah agrees.

“Maybe you could play the piano for us later?” Carole asks. 

“Maybe,” Eliza says agreeably. “Look! My room is purple, and the sun comes in every morning. And your bed will be right here, Aunt Audrey!”

“That’s a cool shade of purple,” Audrey says. “You don’t snore, do you?”

“Not _me_ ,” Eliza says, giggling. “Guess who does!”

“Your dad?” Audrey guesses.

“I don’t!” Finn protests.

“That’s true,” Noah whispers to Kurt, who nods and hides a laugh. 

“Not Dad,” Eliza says. “Guess again!”

“The cat?” Audrey asks.

“Hey!” Noah protests. “You’re just like your brother, picking on Ennis.”

“Ennis does snore sometimes,” Finn points out.

“Hey!” Noah says again. “It’s not his fault he’s old.”

“I didn’t know that,” Eliza says thoughtfully. “Anyway, I was thinking of a person, Aunt Audrey!”

“Is it a dad or a kid?” Audrey asks.

“It isn’t me,” Kurt says, raising an eyebrow.

“A kid!” Eliza says. 

“Then I guess it’s got to be Charlie,” Audrey says. Charlie shrieks in happiness when Audrey says her name. “Am I right?”

“Tarlie! Tarlie!” Harvey cheers, and Eliza giggles again. 

“Yep! It’s Charlie!” Eliza tells Audrey. 

“We’ll go in the Peas’ room next,” Noah says. “You can tell it’s theirs because it’s pea-green.”

“It’s not pea-green,” Finn protests. “It’s ‘sweet pea’.”

“Close enough.” Noah grins at Finn and leads everyone down the hall. “Then there’s a room that they’re using as a playroom, and another bedroom. Plus the—” Noah lowers his voice “—bathrooms.”

“It’s all lovely,” Carole says after peeking into the Peas’ room. “You didn’t want to make the bedrooms bigger, though? And have fewer?”

“Um, well.” Noah stalls, shifting Harvey’s weight onto the other hip. They hadn’t precisely talked about it during the entire remodeling process, but Noah knows there’s a part of them hoping they’ll figure out a way to have another one, somehow. “Load-bearing walls,” he finally says. “So, you know. Playroom.” 

“They don’t spend that much time in their bedrooms, anyway,” Finn says.

“I’m at school during the day,” Eliza says seriously. “But I like my new school. It’s not so far away. We walk most days.” 

“Unless it’s pouring,” Noah adds. “And then up here is the last level of the original house.” He leads them upstairs to Finn’s floor. “Office, bathroom, bedroom,” he says, pointing at each door in turn. The bedroom isn’t precisely for show, but it’s not like Finn’s sleeping in it every night, either. 

“Oh, do you do a lot of work from home now, Finn?” Carole asks. 

“Not really,” Finn says. “I’m kind of working on a book, but I don’t know how that’s going to turn out, so.” He shrugs. 

“A book!” Carole looks almost shocked. “That’s— what about?”

“Overcoming your mother,” Kurt whispers under his breath, just loud enough for Noah and Finn to hear, but not the others.

“Music, sports, and psychology,” Finn says offhandedly. 

“That sounds like an interesting mix,” Carole replies. “And exciting for you, combining your interests like that.”

“I guess I’ll just have to see what comes of it,” Finn says. 

“And up there’s the top floor,” Noah says a few beats of silence. “Bedroom, bathroom, small office area. That’s the part we added.”

“Oh, can we see?” Carole asks, but before she even finishes her sentence, Kurt is already shaking his head. 

“No, we keep access limited, same as the old place,” he says unapologetically. 

“Aw, come on,” Burt says. “It’s not like we’re just anybody!”

“Sorry, Dad,” Kurt says, smiling a little but moving towards the stairs to take them back down. “It just works well for us that way.” 

“Yeah, like not having to explain the special-ordered bed,” Noah whispers as he drops back to stand next to Finn. 

“It’s big enough,” Finn agrees.

“Good thing,” Noah says, shifting Harvey again as they head down the stairs. “We still end up on like two-thirds of it, though.”

“One-third if we’re really lucky,” Finn says. He puts his hand on Noah’s back as they walk down to the living room level again. 

“Exactly.” Noah grins and sets Harvey down once they reach the bottom of the stairs. “Go show Aunt Audrey your turkey, Harv.” Harvey grins and heads towards the toy bins, and Noah shakes his arms out a little. 

Charlie starts to wiggle and squirm in Carole’s arms. “No! Down! Obby!”

“You don’t want to sit with me?” Carole asks Charlie. 

“Obby,” Charlie insists, pointing in Harvey’s direction. “Pway Obby!”

“Oh, okay,” Carole says, finally letting Charlie get down and go after Harvey. “They certainly are active.” 

“Not me,” Kurt says quickly. “That’s not from me. I was sedate as a child, I’m sure.”

“Uh-huh.” Noah laughs. “You’re always very calm.” 

“Papa! Pway Obby!” Charlie demands loudly.

“You two want to bring something in here?” Noah asks her. “Let’s skip the blocks for today. Animals?”

“Ducks _mine_ ,” Charlie shouts. “No Obby ducks!”

“Turkey, Tarlie,” Harvey says in response, showing her the turkey in his hand. 

“See, some fowl for everyone,” Noah says wryly. “Eliza, did you want a chicken or two?”

Eliza laughs. “No, geese!”

“Obby tuppy,” Charlie agrees. “No Tolly tuppy. Liza deese.”

Noah watches Charlie get the geese and hand them to Eliza, and then they settle in the living room floor with their various birds. 

“Thank god they don’t realize people keep some birds as pets,” Kurt says quietly. “The playroom would turn into a bird menagerie.”

“Like you wouldn’t buy them birds, blue eyes?”

“Shush.” Kurt looks around for support and then shakes his head. “Dessert, anyone?”

“Toppit cake!” Charlie says.

“Stop it, cake?” Audrey asks, looking confused. 

“Chocolate cake,” Finn explains. “And like I said before, she takes after Noah.”

“I am the smart one.”

“And the cake’s heavy, so I’ll go help Kurt lift it,” Finn says. 

“Otherwise Noah might not let the cake out of the kitchen,” Kurt points out.

“I’m not that bad,” Noah says to Burt and Carole. “Really.”

“Papa eat alllllllll toppit cake,” Charlie says gravely, shaking her head.

“Noah, I have known you since you were seven,” Carole replies, after looking oddly at Charlie, probably because of ‘Papa’ again. 

“They were small!” Noah protests. Kurt snorts back a laugh as he and Finn go into the kitchen to get the cake, and Noah turns to the Peas. “Peas at the table for cake. C’mon, Harv. You too, Char.” 

“Can I eat in here?” Eliza asks. “Please?”

“Odd and Peas toppit cake?” Charlie asks Audrey.

“Why don’t you sit with Audrey and the Peas and eat at the table?” Noah says to Eliza. “Okay?”

“Hmm, okay,” Eliza concedes, standing up and grabbing Audrey’s hand. “Come on!”

After the kids are settled at the table, Noah sits back down in the living room, avoiding the various play animals, and Finn and Kurt serve the kids before bringing plates into the living room. 

“Big enough slice?” Kurt asks, and Noah laughs. 

“You could’ve just brought me whatever was left.”

“I could’ve brought you an empty plate,” Finn says, leaning forward and whispering, “Asshole,” in Noah’s ear. 

“Could’ve, but wouldn’t’ve,” Noah shoots back, grinning. 

“This is a lovely view,” Carole says, turning from the window. “Quite a house, you three.” 

“It’s more than we expected to find,” Kurt says rather candidly. “But we like it, yes.”

Finn sits down next to Noah and eats his own slice of cake in a few bites, then sets the plate down and starts idly playing with one of the curls on the nape of Noah’s neck. 

“How can you remember how it tastes when you eat it so fast?” Noah asks jokingly. “You’d better not do that with Hannah’s pies on Thursday, or she’ll come after you.”

“I didn’t feel like investing a lot of time in cake eating today. I had other things to do.”

“And what were those, exactly?” Kurt says, looking over from his conversation with Burt. “Making sure Noah didn’t eat any of your cake?”

“It’s a perfectly valid career choice,” Finn insists. 

“It’s a _sad_ career choice, is what that is,” Noah says, carefully scraping his plate. “No one would pay you for that. Except maybe Charlie, but she’d pay you in playing Candyland.”

“Cannylan!” Charlie shouts.

“Not now, Char!” Noah calls back. 

“Her vocabulary is so good,” Carole remarks. “It’s hard to believe she’s not two yet. Speaking of careers, though, Finn, how is your practice?” 

“It’s not doing too badly,” Finn says. His fingers move to the back of Noah’s neck, still absently stroking. 

Noah snorts. “Didn’t you have to refer a few people to someone else, ’cause you couldn’t accommodate them in your schedule?”

“Yeah,” Finn says. “I didn’t want to have to book appointments on Tuesday afternoons.”

“Still with the Tuesdays?” Burt asks.

“Nothing wrong with taking a break during part of the week,” Kurt says. “More people should pick a day and run with it, if they can.” He gestures expansively. “I still say it’s the only thing that religion got right.” 

“Hey Mom!” Audrey calls out. “Did you see the placemats the kids drew? Eliza was showing me hers.”

“Oh, let’s go look,” Carole says to Burt as she stands up. They stop in the doorway between the living room and the dining room, and Noah eyes Carole’s plate, which still has a bite of cake on it. 

“No, Noah,” Kurt says, laughing. 

“Damn.”

“I can get you another piece,” Finn offers, standing up. He kisses Noah as he takes his plate, then does the same to Kurt, stacking their plates to carry into the kitchen. 

“Sure,” Noah agrees, watching Finn head into the kitchen before looking over at Carole and Burt’s backs as they talk to the kids, and he exhales and turns to Kurt. “Yeah, I think it’s going to be a long week.” 

 

Kurt had been trying to reassure Noah that the week wouldn’t necessarily be that bad, but by the end of dinner, Kurt can’t help but notice the looks that Carole keeps giving him, as well as Finn and Noah. Kurt’s not precisely sure what it is they’ve done wrong—aside from refusing a tour of the topmost floor—but if the first meal is already showing a problem, Kurt does wonder how they’ll make it through to the following weekend. 

“Okay, Char, go get Dad and Harvey so you can get ready for bed,” Noah says to Charlie. 

“Dad, Obby!” Charlie shrieks as she runs off. “Obby, Dad!”

“Tarlie?” Harvey says. “What?”

“Bed, Obby! Night, Obby!”

“Shhh,” Harvey says quietly, nodding and walking over to Finn. 

“You ready for bed, Peas?” Finn asks, scooping a toddler up in each arm.

“Bed, Dad,” Charlie informs him.

“Shhh,” Harvey says again, then puts his head on Finn’s shoulder. “Shhh, shhh. Liza bed now?”

“Eliza’s staying up a little bit longer,” Finn says. “She has to help Aunt Audrey settle in.”

“Daddy bed?” Charlie asks. “Papa bed?”

“Not for a bit, Charlie,” Kurt answers her. “The taller you are, the later you get to stay up.”

“Wait a second,” Noah says slowly, and Kurt laughs. 

“I suppose that makes sense,” Carole interjects, speaking stiffly. “As soon as the children are in bed, I’m going to get some rest myself.”

Finn takes the Peas upstairs, and Eliza drags Audrey back into the living room to look at a game, or possibly to convince Audrey to play it. Kurt finishes loading the dishwasher and then stands in the doorway, watching Noah talk to Burt while Carole sits silently. After a little bit longer, Finn and the Peas reappear, Harvey and Charlie in pajamas. 

“Ok, Peas are ready for bedtime kisses,” Finn declares, carrying the Peas to Kurt. “Daddy first!”

“Good night, Peas,” Kurt says, giving them each a kiss in turn. “Night, Harvey. Night, Charlie.”

“Night, Daddy,” Harvey says, smiling. “Shhh.”

“Daddy, Obby shhh,” Charlie adds, in apparent agreement.

“Ok, now Papa,” Finn says.

“Good night, Char,” Noah says, blowing a raspberry on Charlie’s arm before doing the same to Harvey. “Good night, Harv. Remember, if you wake up early, that’s why your Aunt Audrey’s here.” 

“Night, Papa!” Harvey says, then puts his head on Finn’s shoulder like he had earlier.

“Now tell Grandpa and Grandma goodnight, and we’ll see them in the morning!” Finn instructs.

“Gamma night,” Charlie says sleepily, rubbing her eyes with her fist.

As Finn brushes past Kurt on the way to the stairs, Kurt happens to be looking at Carole, and he sees the expression on her face as she stands. Kurt mentally winces as Carole tells Burt and Audrey good night and goes downstairs. They haven’t been overly demonstrative, but there’s probably been enough for Carole to see, and Kurt sighs. 

Eliza and Audrey stay up a little longer, until Eliza is yawning and rubbing her own eyes, and Kurt, Noah, and Finn stand up as well. Kurt thinks they’re going to manage to get through the first day, at least, until Burt catches his eye. 

“You wanna grab a beer and talk a little, just you and me?” Burt asks. He looks like he often does when he wants to have a serious talk, Kurt can’t help but think – like he’s trying very hard not to look serious, but failing miserably. 

“Sure,” Kurt nods after a moment. “One moment.” He walks over to Noah and on the pretext of hugging him, whispers into his ear. “I have a feeling you and I should talk before we talk to Finn, after this.” 

Noah nods almost imperceptibly, returning the embrace and then stepping away. “Good night, everyone. Sleep well.” He nods again at Kurt before he and Finn head upstairs. 

Kurt grabs two bottles out of the refrigerator and opens them before sliding one to Burt, leaning against the island. He has a feeling he knows what this is about, but he’s not going to volunteer the information. Even now, even at thirty-two, and doesn’t that make him feel like a child again?

“The kids all seem like they’re doing really well,” Burt begins. “The girls are doing a lot better than I would have expected.”

Kurt smiles. “They are. It’s almost time to find a preschool for the little two. Eliza’s was nice enough but a little far.” He shakes his head. “And they are _so_ excited Aunt Audrey’s here.”

“I thought we were gonna have to pry Charlie off Audrey’s leg with a shoehorn,” Burt says. “Not that Harvey’s much better about that. You’d think he and Charlie were the siblings, the way they act.”

“The Peas,” Kurt nods, laughing. “I almost feel sorry for their eventual preschool teacher.”

“I’m glad they get along so well, though. No resentment or anything about sharing the attention?”

“There’s three of us,” Kurt says philosophically, “and three of them. Finn keeps saying we didn’t have to move from man to man to zone defense?” Kurt shrugs. “Anyway, it’s normal for the Peas.”

“Mmhmm,” Burt says, taking another long sip of his beer. “There are three of you here.”

“Yes.”

“So, Kurt…” Burt pauses. “Look, you know I try to stay out of your business. I’m just a little… well, Carole noticed some, uh, interesting… What I’m trying to ask is…” Burt makes some sort of hand gesture like he’s encouraging Kurt to fill in the blanks for him. Carole had definitely noticed something, judging by the way she announced she was going to bed as soon as dinner was over, her face stiff and disapproving. 

“Finn,” Kurt nods. No doubt Carole had focused on Finn to the exclusion of all else. “And, well. Yes.”

“Yes, what she noticed?”

“This is home. Different rules of behavior.” Kurt traces his finger absently on the counter and takes a drink of his beer and smiles slightly. “Finn’s the one most likely to forget we have guests.”

“So this… this is actually a _thing_ between you?” Burt asks. 

“The three of us, yes,” Kurt nods. “No, Finn’s bedroom isn’t merely for show. Yes, the three of us. It’s…” Kurt shrugs. “Noah and I always have thought that most couples don’t feel equally strongly about someone outside the couple.” Which is true; they don’t think in terms of couples most of the time, though, not anymore. 

“Kurt, I’m, you know I’m trying to make sense of this,” Burt says, his features twisting into a combination of confusion and worry and something else. “But, what you’re saying. That’s… it’s just not _normal_ , Kurt.”

Kurt can feel his face harden a little. “It’s not exactly like we go around advertising it, Dad.”

“I don’t really care who you’re advertising it to, Kurt. He’s your _stepbrother_ and you’re _married_. You’ve got a kid. _He_ has kids!”

“I’m well aware of all of those facts,” Kurt says coolly. “Though we tend to think of the kids as ours.”

“Is this what happened to Finn’s marriage? Was it because of this?”

Kurt draws in his breath sharply and his hand tightens on his bottle of beer. “ _Rachel_ happened to Finn’s marriage. You know, until Charlie was born, Finn wasn’t sure she was biologically his? Not that it mattered, she was his, either way, but.” It seems like an opportune moment to take a drink of his beer, actually, so he does, closing his eyes as he drinks. 

“No, I didn’t know that, but… Kurt, how long has this been going on?” Burt frowns. 

Kurt sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. “It’s not been contiguous. Obviously. But.”

“Kurt.”

“Thirteen years.”

“ _Christ!_ Kurt, you’re telling me this has been going on since college? Since Audrey was born?”

Kurt frowns, then figures he’s told the truth so far, what’s the full truth? “No, not since college,” Kurt says quietly. 

“Thirteen years sounds like college, Kurt, unless you’re screwing up your math,” Burt says. 

“You could argue it’s closer to fourteen.”

Burt freezes, then his face slowly contorts as he starts to work out the mental math, and then he blanches. “Kurt, are you telling me this started in _high school_?”

Kurt nods slowly. “Yes. First the once, and then the summer.” He knows it’s stupid, but he can’t resist. “Don’t you remember how angry Carole was with Finn, at the end of senior year, Dad?”

“Vaguely,” Burt says. “I remember they were having some problems for a while there, before college.” He frowns. “Are you telling me that was about this?”

“Mmmhmm.” Kurt runs his finger around the top of the bottle. “Never quite understood, but it was somehow all Finn forcing himself on us, or something. Endangering our mature, healthy relationship, maybe.”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all, son. I’ll be honest with you, none of this is making a lot of sense to me right now,” Burt says. “You’re saying Carole knew about this and didn’t say anything to me about it at any point over the last fourteen years?”

“She didn’t know about it past that point. Finn… told her what she wanted to hear.”

“And what exactly,” Burt asks, “was it that he thought she wanted to hear?” 

Kurt purses his lips, taking in the stony look on Burt’s face. “That he was acting out. Something like that. That of course it wasn’t going to happen again.” Kurt frowns. “I think he might have implied he was interested in Allison, actually.” He laughs. “That would have been hilarious.”

“But Finn is… I mean, he dated girls. Rachel and Quinn in high school, that Terry or whatever her name was in college, then Rachel again,” Burt says. He looks like he can’t quite decide if he’s angry or just confused. “I always thought he was— you know?”

“Straight? He stopped labelling himself around the same time,” Kurt comments, then takes a long swallow of his beer. “Until he picked a new one. Or asked for a new one.” He snorts a little. “And, as I said. It wasn’t contiguous.”

“Is he gay, Kurt? And is this… it’s a sex thing?” Burt lowers his voice a little on the last few words. 

“Oh, god,” Kurt huffs. “A sex thing. No. It is not a ‘sex thing’. And I don’t know if Finn’s gay. For a while he identified as pansexual. Noah thinks it’s possible he’s actually gay. It doesn’t actually matter to us at this point, though.” Kurt shrugs. 

“I’m just really having a hard time wrapping my head around this, son. This just, it can’t be good for any of you. I don’t see how it can be _fair_ for any of you.”

“We missed him,” Kurt says quietly. “Oh, we were happy enough. As long as we didn’t think about him.” He snorts. “Of course, part of it was well, Rachel. It didn’t take a genius to see what she was doing to him. But. We’re all happier now. I don’t think you can adequately understand how _not fair_ things were before.”

“I just, I feel like we’ve been lied to all this time,” Burt says. “And if it’s like you said, if it’s not just about the sex, why did he marry her?”

“That. That I don’t know. Entirely. I have speculations. We could write a book with our speculations. Poor Syd had to listen to a lot of them. Added a few of her own, actually.” Kurt spins the empty bottle absently. “But you have to remember where he was at the time. How many Rose Bowls did Finn go to, Dad? What number was he in the draft? There was a lot of media attention.” Kurt winces and frowns a little as he remembers. “No one wanted a pansexual Hudson.”

“Why couldn’t he, or you, or any of you, tell us, at least?”

“Yes. ‘Oh, hey, Dad, Carole. By the way, that blind item you all thought was David Karofsky? Actually about Finn! Surprise!’”

“ _Kurt!_ ” Burt looks taken aback. “Are you telling me that… they were talking about _this_?” Burt waves his hand around in a circle to encapsulate the relationship being discussed. 

“Yes.” Kurt nods. “Always thought it was a third-stringer, maybe.”

Burt sets his empty beer down on the island and temples his fingers in front of his face, leaning on the counter. “So you were flying out to Wisconsin—and I assume Finn was flying out here—for _this_?”

“We _did_ watch his games.”

“So the… the _three_ of you. You have some kind of relationship between you. Okay.” Burt takes a deep breath. “I see that. But, what about you and Noah? How does Finn fit into that? How can this possibly be enough for _him_? Did you think about that? You and Noah have each other, but Finn?”

Kurt takes a deep breath and tries to decide how best to word it. “There are three of us. Yes, outwardly, there’s Noah and I, and then Finn, but. We all have each other. Yes, to a large extent, we always left a good portion of the decisions to Finn. When, how long, yes, no. Probably we left too many of the decisions to him, but we didn’t want to be two more people pressuring him.” He sighs. “Of course we talked about how things would appear, especially before we bought this place. We had a few concerns. This… this is what we all want, Dad.”

“Kurt, he’d just come off an ugly divorce after what was obviously an unhappy marriage,” Burt says. “Did you stop to think he just needed a place to feel safe for a while?”

“No, because we’re morons,” Kurt snaps. “Of course we thought about that.”

“Maybe he was confused. He hasn’t exactly always been the best decision maker, and obviously the thing with Rachel was a lot worse than any of us knew.”

Kurt slams his palms down on the counter. “Perhaps that’s because no one’s ever let him make his own decisions without pressuring him. I’m quite certain, though, he wasn’t _confused_.”

“Alright, alright. He wasn’t confused. Nobody’s confused except for me and Carole, I guess,” Burt concedes. “But son, do you _love_ him? Does he love you? Does… there’s _three_ of you, how does that even work? Does Noah feel the same way?”

“Of course we love him.” Kurt scoffs. “And yes, he loves both of us. How does it work? It just does, Dad. There’s not exactly.” He stops and grins. “There’s not exactly a manual.”

“It would be easier if there were,” Burt says, shaking his head. “Then we could all be on the same page.”

“Noah’s Googled. Several times,” Kurt deadpans. “Maybe we’ll have to write it.”

“Anonymously, I assume?”

“Oh, by the time we’re sixty, I don’t think we’d care,” Kurt says flippantly. “Who has time to write it now?”

“I’m glad you can make jokes about this. I’m just worried about how this is all gonna play out in the long term, Kurt.”

“I’m not allowed at parent/teacher conferences, for starters. Or maybe I’m just held in reserve.”

Burt shakes his head and allows himself a small smile. “So you’re really raising the three of them as the three of you? That why Charlie was calling you Daddy earlier? I thought she’d just picked up the habit from Harvey.”

“Initially? Yes. Harvey was already eighteen months and she was just turning one. But no, we didn’t discourage it, obviously.” He shrugs slightly. “Finn’s much better at placating the teachers. He and Noah say I have a, hmm. Unfortunate tendency to take any suggestions for improvement as a personal affront.”

“You? Never,” Burt says, laughing. “Kurt, I really don’t know what to say about all of this. I want you to be happy. I want Finn to be happy. I especially want the _children_ to be happy and taken care of.” He sighs deeply and shakes his head. “Is this gonna do that? For all of you?”

“I’m happy, yes. I don’t want to put words in his mouth, but Finn certainly seems happier than he has in years. The kids? Eliza has had a hard time. I mean, her mother essentially abandoned her. But I do think they’re happy. The Peas especially.”

Burt sighs. “I don’t think Carole’s gonna handle this well, Kurt, to be honest with you. She was pretty freaked out earlier, and if it’s like you said, and this was the reason she and Finn had those problems back in senior year…”

“No, probably not,” Kurt agrees, and he has to stifle the urge to laugh, because of course Carole’s going to have a fit. They’ve known that for years. “I’d prefer it if she would refrain from addressing the issue in front of the kids, though.”

“Does Rachel know about this?” Burt asks, almost pointedly not responding to Kurt’s request.

Kurt sighs. “As far as we know? No. But she always was a little obtuse. Syd knows of course, Zachary knows, Lillian—you remember Lillian—she knows, Tori, Allison…” Kurt trails off. “The people we invite to Thanksgiving. They all know.”

“Aren’t you worried about what she’s gonna do when she finds out? I mean, I know Finn’s got full custody, but she can always go back and fight it,” Burt says.

“Not really,” Kurt admits. “She said far too many things during the divorce. And we have Syd _and_ Tina.”

“I just want you kids to all be happy and safe. That’s all any parent wants.”

“Yes,” Kurt agrees, looking amused. “I have somewhere between three and five of them, depending on how you do the math.”

“I guess you do know, then,” Burt says. “Well, I’d better go have a little chat with Carole, before her head explodes. I can’t make any promises about her reaction. She was about to fly off the handle earlier, after she saw Finn kiss Noah.”

“I can imagine, sadly.” Kurt straightens. “And I should probably head upstairs. Calm down my boys.”

Burt looks a bit taken aback by Kurt’s statement, but all he says is, “Talk about your blended family, I guess.”

Kurt grins. “Exactly. Good night, Dad.”

“Good night, son.”

 

Noah frowns at the notes in front of him; it’d be easier to get this out if part of his brain wasn’t monitoring Finn and another part wasn’t listening for Kurt to come up the stairs. Finn’s thumbing at the pages of his journal and occasionally looking over the top as he reads, but so far Noah’s managed to avoid looking him directly in the eye. Noah puts his pencil down with a little sigh of relief when he hears Kurt’s footsteps approaching. 

Kurt stops and smiles at both of them, looking a little strained around the eyes, and Noah slides off the bed, squeezing Finn’s leg as he does. “Be right back, darling.” 

Noah stops just inside the office as Kurt frowns. “Carole noticed,” Kurt says quietly. “Dad asked, I answered, I think he _might_ be okay, but you know he’s going to go downstairs and talk to Carole.”

“Fuck,” Noah says, shaking his head. “As long as she doesn’t try to storm up here, I guess.”

“Oh, I know it’s not particularly nice of me, but I left a note on the stairs up to the kids’ floor, that she wasn’t to go any farther. She might not listen, but it’s something.”

“Yeah. Okay, blue eyes. Let’s go back in there.” 

When they walk back into the bedroom, Finn has abandoned all pretext of reading, his journal and Noah’s paper and pencil moved to the nightstand. He’s sitting in the middle of the bed, legs crossed, just waiting patiently. Noah slides behind him, wrapping one arm across the middle of his chest and tugging Kurt into Finn’s lap. Finn relaxes against Noah and puts his arm around Kurt’s waist. When Kurt doesn’t speak for a moment, Noah puts his mouth near Finn’s ear. “Kurt needs Finn-kisses.”

Finn lets out a soft little laugh, then cups Kurt’s cheek in one hand and pulls Kurt’s lips towards his. Kurt moves his head into the kiss, and Noah can see a bit of tongue between the two of them. He grins and presses his own lips gently on Finn’s neck. “See? I know what you both need.”

Finn laughs against Kurt’s mouth. “That’s why you’re the smart one,” he says, pulling back a little. 

“That’s right, Dr. Hudson,” Noah teases. 

“So, darling,” Kurt says slowly, “Dad knows.”

“Knows?” Finn asks. “Knows what?”

“About us. Which means your mother knows for certain, now. Though she was the one that apparently noticed some interesting things.” Kurt snorts. “Interesting.”

“How are we defining ‘interesting’ tonight?” Finn asks. 

“The horror of kissing us?” Noah suggests. “What _did_ she see, blue eyes?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt admits. “Dad just said she noticed some interesting… and then trailed off. I filled in the blanks with ‘things’. But I wasn’t going to deny it. I mean, I suppose ideally you could have told her yourself, darling, but with the way she was glaring at us during dinner and after you took the Peas to bed, I was starting to suspect she had guessed.”

“I guess I kinda forget not everybody knows,” Finn says. “Shit. Did Burt seem to handle it ok?”

“We’re not normal,” Kurt says dryly, and Noah barely holds back his laugh at that. “He expressed concern for the kids. Oh! And he wanted to know if it was a ‘sex thing’.”

“Yep. Definitely a sex thing,” Noah says, kissing the back of Finn’s neck.

“It’s a little bit a sex thing,” Finn agrees. “Ok, so is Mom going to flip?”

“Probably,” Kurt concedes, and Noah can feel Kurt sigh, even with Finn between them. “Dad also wanted to know if you were _confused_ , so I suspect Noah and I will get questioned, too. Not just you.”

“I’ve done my best to confuse you,” Noah says, his tone very serious. “Have I succeeded? Are you confused, Finn?”

“Who are you people and what am I doing here?” Finn replies, in a completely deadpan voice. “So, what? Does he think I have Stockholm syndrome?”

“Obviously you were just looking for a safe place after— oh god,” Kurt cuts himself off with a groan. “You’d better keep holding on to me before I go down there and start yelling.”

“What?” Noah asks. “What is it, K?”

“I didn’t put it together. They really haven’t changed in the last thirteen years. Remember how they used to be so damn snotty about you moving home after college?”

“Yeah.” Finn frowns. 

“I think they thought you moved in with us after you left Rachel for that sort of reason. I am going to lose it,” Kurt says quietly. “After all this time, they still don’t get it.”

“Wait, like some of bizarre security blanket?” Noah asks. 

“Well, they know the real reason now,” Finn says.

“Yes,” Noah says, trying not to laugh. “Not because you need a security blanket, but because you act as a blanket.” 

Kurt snorts. “Noah, really.” 

“I’m an excellent blanket,” Finn agrees. “And if they have a problem with that, well… that’s their problem, not mine.”

“There’s really only one potential sticking point,” Kurt says, sighing softly. “I mentioned to Dad that I’d prefer Carole not refer to any issue with us in front of the kids. He didn’t acknowledge it.” 

“Shit,” Finn says under his breath. “The kids don’t need that, Eliza especially. I guess I’ll have to talk to her first thing tomorrow and hope she doesn’t say anything before I get a chance to.”

“At least we can tell Eliza not to worry about what she’s calling us,” Noah points out. “She did pretty well, but she doesn’t need to have to think about it.” 

“At least you start with ‘P’ either way,” Kurt says, shaking his head. 

“It’s better like this,” Finn says. “We should have just told them before they came out here. They’ll adjust. It’ll probably take a little time, but this can’t be as big as a surprise as they’re acting like it is.”

“You’d think Carole would have guessed, at the very least,” Noah says wryly. “I don’t know about telling them ahead of time, though, either. Interesting call.”

Kurt laughs. “We’d have had to have them sit down. But yes. It’s better they know, especially before Tuesday and then Thursday.” 

“This is our life,” Finn says firmly. “These are our children. They don’t have to like it, but they have to respect it. That’s it, as far as I’m concerned.”

“They don’t have to like it, but I do,” Noah says. “Pretty damn good life, in fact.” 

“Mmm, yes. Yes, it is,” Kurt agrees. 

“I wouldn’t change a thing,” Finn says.

Noah laughs. “I’d change one little thing, right now.” 

“Oh yeah?” Finn asks. 

“Yep. How much clothing we’re wearing.”

 

Despite Finn’s plans to talk to his mom first thing in the morning, she doesn’t come up from the guest room until they’re all starting to sit down for breakfast. Burt looks haggard and mildly apologetic as he sits down at the table next to Eliza, who butters a slice of toast and sets it on Burt’s plate.

“Now all you need is an egg and some fruit,” Eliza informs Burt. “Oh, and coffee. Papa’s making coffee, so it’ll be a minute.”

Burt gives Eliza a quick surprised look before he answers, “Thanks for your help, sweetheart. I forget how big you are, sometimes.”

Eliza nods. “I’m one of the younger ones in first grade, but now I’m six.” 

Carole comes slowly up the stairs and sits on the other side of Burt without saying a word, then she attempts to smile at Eliza. “Good morning, Eliza.”

“’Morning, Grandma! Coffee’s almost ready.” 

“Oh, okay.” Carole falls silent again, smiling briefly at Charlie and Harvey. 

“Gamma, hi! Hi!” Charlie says, bouncing in her seat and yanking on Harvey’s sleeve.

“Give Grandma a minute to get a cup of coffee,” Finn says. He kisses the top of Charlie’s head, then does the same to Harvey. “Remember, Peas? Coffee first, excitement later.”

“Coffeeeee,” Harvey repeats, then laughs. “Coffee, Dad?”

“No coffee for Peas,” Puck says, carrying in a carafe. “No coffee for Eliza, either. Audrey, are you part of the coffee crowd yet? You turned thirteen, after all.”

“Sure!” Audrey says. “You’ve got cream, right?”

“Audrey,” Burt says. “Do you even like coffee?”

“Of course I do,” Audrey insists.

“Cream, sugar, and a few ice cubes if you need to cool it off faster,” Puck answers her. 

“When have you had coffee?” Carole suddenly asks, frowning. 

“Beth takes me,” Audrey says, straightening in her seat. “Beth and I go and get coffee sometimes.”

Carole continues frowning, dropping her gaze to her plate as Puck pours the coffee. He sits down just as Kurt brings in the eggs and sets them in the middle of the table. “That’s everything,” Kurt says. “Eliza, don’t take all the eggs.”

“Okay!” Eliza says sheepishly, handing the spoon to Audrey. 

“Finish up so we can get you off to school,” Finn instructs Eliza. “Papa and Aunt Audrey will take you, how’s that sound?”

Eliza nods, then carefully swallows before replying. “I can show you my class and introduce you to my teacher, Aunt Audrey.” 

“That sounds fun,” Audrey says. She scoops some eggs onto her plate and starts eating after nudging Eliza with her elbow.

“Safiya’ll be here for the Peas today,” Finn explains to his mom and Burt. “That gives us a chance to spend some time with Aud without her being used as a human jungle gym.”

“Also, it’ll help protect her ears,” Puck says with a grin. “Right, Peas?”

“Eyes ears mouth nose,” Harvey chants. 

“Feet feet feet,” Charlie adds.

“That’s a lot of feet,” Audrey remarks.

“All feet,” Charlie agrees.

“Allbody all feet, Tarlie. Allbody all eyes ears mouth nose.”

“Yes, Obby,” Charlie says. “Allbody, Obby.”

“And now that you’ve had Anatomy 101 with your breakfast,” Kurt says, laughing. “More eating, less teaching, Peas.”

“Edds,” Charlie says as she shovels all her eggs into her mouth at once.

“Is it always like this?” Burt asks Eliza.

“Like what?” Eliza replies, sounding puzzled. 

“That’s a yes, Dad,” Kurt says. 

“Ok, everybody, let’s get a move on!” Finn says. “Wrap it up!”

The children stay mostly on task until they finish their breakfast, with only minimal amounts of egg ending up in Charlie’s hair or Harvey’s pockets. Finn helps Eliza get ready for school, then sends her out the door with Puck and Audrey. 

“Dad, do you want to come up and play with the Peas for a few minutes before Safiya gets here?” Kurt asks Burt as he wipes off the Peas’ hands. 

Burt glances over at Finn a little anxiously. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea.”

“Have a Harvey,” Kurt says, handing Harvey to Burt and then picking up Charlie before heading up the stairs, leaving Carole as the only person at the table. Her eggs are mostly untouched, though all of her coffee is gone. 

Finn sits back down at the table, second cup of coffee in hand. “Ok. You ready to talk?”

“You can’t expect me to be celebrating this,” Carole says, not looking directly at Finn. 

“I don’t expect you to celebrate anything but Thanksgiving while you’re here, Mom,” Finn says. “But this is my life. These are my kids. This is where I want to be.”

“Your children, yes. Do you even let them call Rachel ‘Mom’ or ‘Mommy’? I know she wasn’t perfect, Finn, but requiring them to refer to Kurt and Noah as ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa’ seems a bit excessive.” 

“We don’t require anything. They call us what they want to call us,” Finn says. “And when Rachel actually bothers to see them, they can call her whatever they want to call her. We don’t force them or let them or anything like that. They’re smart kids, all three of ’em. They know who their parents are.”

“I hope no one’s cruel to Eliza because of your… _choices_ ,” Carole says. “I have no idea what I’m going to tell your sister, but at least she’s protected somewhat. The kids she goes to school with won’t have any clues about _this_.” 

“This what? This thing where all three of her brothers live together and raise their kids together?” Finn asks. “Oh, the horror! How can you explain something so complicated!”

“No, the part where the three of you are _involved_! What if she sees you kissing Noah or Kurt?” Carole makes a face. “We discussed this years ago, Finn, that relationships are two people. Not three.” 

“No, Mom. We didn’t discuss it. You lectured me, and you were _wrong_ ,” Finn says. “You were wrong then, and you’re wrong now, and if I’d just let myself believe how wrong you were, I could have saved everybody a lot of pain.”

“Pain?” Carole says incredulously. “What are you talking about?” 

“That doesn’t matter. None of that really matters now,” Finn answers, waving his hand dismissively. “What matters is that this is my family, this thing right here, and we’re all happy, the kids are all happy, and it doesn’t really matter if you like it or not, because, Mom? It’s not about you.”

“Did you just wake up one day and realize you wanted one of them?” Carole says almost cruelly. “And you had to go along with the other? Who was it? This doesn’t make any sense, Finn. You can’t be _in love_ with two people at once!” 

“Maybe you can’t,” Finn says, shrugging. “Though, I mean, if my dad miraculously walked through that door right now, are you telling me, what? You’d stop loving Burt?”

“That’s not the same thing at all, Finn, and you know it. Are you trying to tell me you _are_?”

“So you got the two loves of your life consecutively, I got mine both at the same time,” Finn says. “I’m not _trying_ to tell you I’m in love with both of them. I _am_ telling you that. I love them. I love Kurt. I love Puck. I love them both. Differently, but the same amount, both of them.”

“I see.” Carole’s face hardens slightly. “I don’t like this, Finn. I don’t like what you’re exposing the children to. I would appreciate it if you’d let me talk to Audrey about it when she returns.” 

“I can’t stop you from talking to Aud, but you make sure she knows this, too. We aren’t exposing our kids to anything but three loving parents, which is about three hundred percent more than some kids get, and whether you like it or not, you’ll respect my family when you’re in my house,” Finn says. “And that’s the end of that.”

Carole’s frown grows deeper, but she nods once and then stands. “Fine. Please send Audrey downstairs when she and Noah return.”

“Fine,” Finn responds. “Mom?”

“Yes?” 

“You could at least pretend to care that I’m happy, you know.”

“Or that you think you are,” Carole says quietly, almost to herself. She shakes her head once, lips pursed, and walks towards the stairs. 

Finn sighs to himself and continues drinking his coffee, because there’s nothing else he can really do. As much as he hoped his mom would have changed her mind over the last fourteen years, he hadn’t really expected it, so he’s not disappointed, at least. Only a few moments pass before Kurt comes down the stairs, sinking into the chair beside Finn and putting one hand lightly on his shoulder. 

“Hi, darling,” he says quietly. 

“Hi,” Finn responds. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Most of it,” Kurt admits, sliding his other hand around to cover Finn’s. “Enough. Too much. I love you, too.”

“I know you do,” Finn says. “She doesn’t understand. Maybe she won’t ever, but maybe if we give her some time, she’ll try, at least.”

“I hope so.” Kurt leans over and kisses Finn, then stands up. “Come on, you can help me wash the dishes from breakfast.”

“Uh oh, should I bring a towel?” Finn jokes.

Kurt grins. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Then that sounds like a great idea to me!”

 

Kurt blinks himself awake, the feel of Noah’s finger on his nose fading. Noah kisses him briefly, then pulls back. “Shh,” Noah says. “He just went downstairs.”

“Okay,” Kurt murmurs, stretching. “I told Audrey last night that we’d all three be gone for a bit this morning, if anyone woke up.”

“Probably not, but that’s good, just in case.” Noah gets up and stretches too, pulling on some clothes, and Kurt does the same before they tiptoe down the stairs. It doesn’t take too long to pick up the flowers or the pastries, and they stay out of sight when Finn comes back into the house. 

“We’ll leave these here,” Kurt says, putting the vase in the middle of the dining room table. “And take these upstairs. Before-breakfast treat.”

“Not every day is Tuesday,” Noah agrees, and they suppress laughs as they quietly head back up the stairs, listening to the water running while Finn showers. Noah and Kurt take their clothes back off and climb back into bed, the pastries sitting on the bedside table. 

“We should have told him to take a quick shower today,” Kurt says wryly. “But then he would have known something was up.” 

“Catch-22.”

Finally, the shower stops and Kurt laughs for a moment as he and Noah do their best to pretend to be asleep. After a few moments, they hear Finn walking into the bedroom. He stands there silently for a second, then starts to laugh.

“You guys are the worst fake sleepers I’ve ever met, and I’ve met the Peas,” Finn declares.

“I taught them all of their secrets,” Noah mumbles, pulling the covers over his head. “See? I can’t see you, therefore I must be asleep.”

“Sneaky,” Finn says. He flings himself onto the bed, making the mattress shake. “It must Tuuuuuesday!” he sing-songs.

“Not just any Tuesday,” Kurt says. “It’s _our_ Tuesday. Have a pastry. Because we need a pre-breakfast snack.”

“Mmm, naked pastries. My favorite!” Finn says. He leans across Kurt to get the plate of pastries, sitting crosslegged on the bed. “I’ll eat one of these, and then I’ll probably have to eat Kurt up.”

“Naked everything is your favorite,” Noah points out, rolling over and pulling the covers back down. “Which is why we are sending everyone away after breakfast.”

“Thank god,” Kurt mutters, picking up one of the pastries. 

“I love our Tuesday,” Finn says. “I love you guys.”

“Love you, too.” Noah rolls onto his side and takes another of the pastries. 

“Happy Tuesday, darling,” Kurt says. “November’s an excellent month.”

“It is,” Finn agrees. He finishes his pastry, then leans forward to press his lips to Kurt’s. Finn trails one hand down Noah’s chest while increasing the pressure of the kiss with Kurt. 

“This is a different kind of early morning exercise,” Noah says, sounding somewhat amused. “We’ll still probably need a shower afterwards.”

“Mmmhmm,” Finn agrees. He slips the hand not on Noah’s chest under the blankets on top of Kurt, then laughs once. “What’d you leave these on for?”

Kurt grins at him. “Mmm, couldn’t let you have everything too easily, could I?”

Finn pulls the blankets down, looking at Kurt with a thoughtful expression before he hooks his thumbs in the barely-existent waistband of Kurt’s underwear. “They look a little fragile,” Finn notes.

“They really do,” Noah agrees. “I hope you didn’t pay good money for them, K.”

Kurt shakes his head, stifling a laugh. “I didn’t.”

“Good to know,” Finn says, giving them a hard yank. There’s a noise of popping stitches and tearing fabric. “Oops.”

“Don’t know your own strength, darling.”

“Well, you know, I _do_ work out.”

“Yes you do,” Noah says. “We’ve noticed. And taken shameless advantage of it.” 

“Exactly,” Kurt says. “We did. And we continue to notice. Though I suppose that means perhaps we should be working out more?” He raises an eyebrow. “Mmm, but the view is nice.”

Finn shakes his head. “You talk too much.”

“We should take care of that problem, don’t you think?” Noah says to Finn.

“Definitely. Hard to shut him up, though,” Finn says. “I can only think of one or two ways.”

Noah laughs. “Yes. Want me to try one of them?”

“Yeah, I think you really should, before he starts bossing us around.”

Kurt makes a face at Finn and Noah. “You wouldn’t know what to do if I weren’t, my loves.”

“You do like to do that,” Noah says, crawling up the bed to Kurt’s head. “But it’s hard to talk with my cock in your mouth, blue eyes. Isn’t it?”

Kurt slides his lips around Noah’s cock and nods once, making Noah laugh briefly. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He looks towards Finn. “See?”

“Good work with that!” Finn says, in his most enthusiastic Dr. Hudson voice. He leans far enough over to grab the bottle of lube from the side table, pouring some into his hand. A moment later, Kurt closes his eyes and relaxes as Finn slides a finger inside. 

“Tell me what you’re doing, darling,” Noah requests. 

“I swear, sometimes you’re as bossy as he is,” Finn says. “I’ve got a finger inside him. I don’t think he minds.”

“No,” Noah agrees. “I think he likes it.” Noah stretches his hand to pinch at Kurt’s nipples. “But I’m not going to give him a chance to tell us otherwise, right now.” Kurt wraps his tongue around Noah at that, putting one hand up and on Noah. 

“Yeah, bet he hates that. I’m sliding a second finger into him now,” Finn says, and Kurt moves slightly, his body pushing towards Finn. “Bet he hates, that, too.”

“Tragic,” Noah agrees. “We should really work on that. Things Kurt might hate but can’t tell us about.” He thrusts a little deeper into Kurt’s mouth at the end of the sentence. 

“God, that is just the prettiest damn thing,” Finn says, and Kurt reaches his other arm towards Finn. “So pretty.” Finn removes his fingers and Kurt frowns, rocking his hips. “Oh, he doesn’t like that very much, huh?”

Noah laughs. “You made our Kurt sad.”

“I can put my fingers back, but I thought he’d rather have my cock,” Finn says. “You want that, Kurt? You can just nod for yes.”

Kurt nods his head, and Noah responds to Finn. “I think he does. You should just push right into him.” 

“Mmm, yeah, I like that plan,” Finn says. Kurt can hear himself whimper slightly around Noah’s cock as Finn pushes into him. 

“Yeah, he did too, darling,” Noah says.

Finn’s hands grip Kurt’s hips as he thrusts forward. “You feel so good, Kurt,” Finn mutters. “God, I love you so much.” Kurt can hear Finn and Noah kissing above him, and he opens his eyes just enough to watch them for a moment, before closing his eyes again. 

“Fuck, yes, he does,” Noah agrees. “Think he’s going to come soon, all filled up with us. Look at him.”

“Look at him, nothing. I can _feel_ him,” Finn says, slipping his hand around Kurt’s cock and stroking it. “He’s so close. So beautiful, Kurt.”

“Maybe he’s not ready to come yet,” Noah says, and he pushes into Kurt’s mouth. “Maybe we should let him tell us when he’s ready.”

Finn starts to laugh, but it turns into a gasp as Kurt tightens around Finn’s cock. “Fuck, Kurt. No, I think he’s ready, god, just, _fuck_ he’s so tight, Noah.”

“Mmm, fuck, want to fill him up,” Noah says. “All of us, fuck, coming now, come for us, fuckfuckfuckyes.” Noah comes first, barely, pushing into Kurt’s mouth.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Kurt!” Finn yells, thrusting forward hard a few times before slumping across Kurt’s back. Kurt shudders a little before releasing Noah and lying flat on the bed. 

“Mmm.” Kurt murmurs, grinning slightly. “Shut me up more often.”

As Finn starts to move away from Kurt, Kurt whines. “No.”

“Sorry,” Finn says, leaning over to kiss Kurt’s shoulders and neck. “We have to face the rest of the world.” He sighs. “Even the disapproving parts.”

“We should come back up here after we’ve dispatched everyone.” Kurt pauses. “We are _filthy_ ,” he adds smugly.

Noah looks them over. “Yeah, we are.” He runs his tongue over Kurt’s cheek with a grin. “There. You’re um. A little cleaner.”

“I, uh, think I got his come in your hair,” Finn says, sheepishly. 

“We’ll have to shower before we go downstairs.” Kurt reaches for Finn’s chest, playing with the ring hanging from Finn’s left nipple for a moment. “Like that, darling?”

“Mmm, yes,” Finn murmurs, running his hand down Kurt’s back. “You can do that some more.”

“I should,” Kurt agrees, bending his head over Finn’s chest, and Finn inhales sharply as Kurt nips at the skin. 

“He wants you nice and hard again,” Noah murmurs, running his hand over Finn’s side and hips. “But too bad for K, we have to leave this floor.”

“I think we need that shower first, though,” Finn says. “Otherwise we’re going to stick together and have to call for the jaws of life.”

“Worse ways to be stuck,” Kurt says, grinning a little. “Terrible hardship. Being stuck between my boys.”

“Yeah, but I still need to eat you up later, and you’re _so gross_ right now,” Finn laughs. “Plus, I think our parents might notice.”

“Let’s take a vacation next week. One of those vacations where Eliza goes to school and Safiya comes and we stay up here all day,” Kurt suggests.

“I love those vacations. I’ll reschedule everything. Let’s take _two_ of those vacations next week!” Finn says.

Noah grins. “Yes. Definitely. Good idea.”

“I have excellent ideas.” Kurt sighs. “Okay. Shower, I suppose.”

Finn peels the sheet off Kurt’s chest, where it’s become glued. “Yeah, I think that would be good. Come on, get up.”

Kurt wrinkles his nose. “But I don’t wanna move.”

Finn climbs to his feet. “I can move you.”

“I think that’s what he wants,” Noah laughs. “Make Finn carry the heavy things?”

“M’not that heavy.”

“Heavy enough to count,” Finn says. He leans his shoulder forward into Kurt’s stomach, and flings Kurt up into a fireman’s carry before Kurt can protest. Kurt kicks his feet, though he’s giggling, and Finn smacks Kurt on the ass with one hand. “Knock it off! You’re gonna damage me.”

“Ow!” Kurt half-heartedly protests. “I’m not going to damage my darling.”

“Now you’ve got a perfectly defined handprint on your ass,” Noah says, laughing, and he kisses where Kurt can feel the handprint is. 

“Hey, that handprint’s a work of art!” Finn insists. “That’s a high-quality handprint. I should autograph it.”

“I’m not getting your autograph tattooed on my ass,” Kurt says. 

“What, you don’t want a matching one?” Finn asks, pointing at his most recent body modification.

“That’s not your autograph,” Noah points out. “That’s a triple impossible triangle.”

“Which is _like_ my autograph,” Finn insists.

Kurt clears his throat. “I’d like to point out that I’m still hanging upside down.”

“We’re going to have to get him cleaned up fast, Finn,” Noah says. “He’s so whiny this morning.”

“Start the shower, I’ll chuck him in, and we’ll scrub him up quickly,” Finn agrees. 

 

By the time the three of them head downstairs, everyone else, including the Peas, is sitting at the table, and Noah is glad they went ahead and bought precooked soufflés when they bought the pastries. “Good morning,” Noah says, passing through the dining room. “Coffee in a few.” 

“Morning!” Eliza says to all of them. “I poured orange juice, and Aunt Audrey helped.”

“She did a great job. Didn’t spill at all,” Audrey says. Behind Eliza’s back, Audrey mouths ‘all over the place’ and mimes wiping up the tabletop.

“Thank you, Eliza,” Kurt says, and Noah ducks into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Carole doesn’t look appreciably happier this morning than she did the morning before, so Noah figures the quicker they can get her caffeinated and out the door, the happier they’ll be. 

“So what’s the deal with all the flowers?” Burt asks. “Is that a Thanksgiving thing?”

“No, it’s our anniversary,” Finn says bluntly. 

“Oh.” Burt glances over at Carole. “Well, that’s, uh. Nice.”

“It is,” Kurt says brightly, and Noah covers his mouth with his hand as he stands between the two rooms, listening to the coffee. “We each get to celebrate three times a year, so it’s very nice.”

“Three, two, one,” Harvey says solemnly, pointing at himself when he says ‘two’ and Charlie when he says ‘one’.

“One, one, one,” Charlie replies agreeably, pointing between herself and Harvey with each repetition. 

“Three times?” Burt asks. 

“Burt,” Carole says firmly, frowning. 

“Once for all three of us. Then Kurt and I in January, Kurt and Finn in May, and Finn and I in August,” Noah explains regardless. “So four total, but three each.”

“Ah,” Burt says, and that seems to be his final commentary on the matter. 

“Coffee’s ready,” Noah announces, smirking a little to himself, and he carries the pot directly to the table. “Sweet potato, you already have your stuff ready for school?”

“Yep! Can Aunt Audrey walk me? Just the two of us?” Eliza looks at Audrey, her pout very similar to Kurt’s. 

“Sure! That would be fun!” Audrey says. 

“Audrey, you’re only thirteen. I don’t think that would be appropriate,” Carole breaks in, looking up from her coffee. 

“Oh, Hannah was running all around the Upper West Side at thirteen,” Noah says. “She could give pretty good directions, too.” 

Carole frowns and looks at Burt. “I’ll let you decide, Burt,” she says with a sigh. 

“Well,” Burt says, looking between Audrey and Carole. “It’s a nice neighborhood and it’s not that far.”

“It’s not,” Eliza agrees. “You know what’s far, though, Grandpa? Zabar’s.”

“I swear I won’t walk all the way to Zabar’s,” Audrey says. 

“There goes our plan to make you do the grocery shopping,” Kurt says with a dramatic sigh. “Too bad for us.” 

“Fine,” Carole says. “Take the phone Finn bought you, Audrey, and come straight back. If you need to, take a cab, and we’ll pay for it when you get here.”

“Yay!” Eliza claps a little. “C’mon, Aunt Audrey, let’s go brush our teeth and go!” 

“Dad, today would be a good day for you to go those places you wanted to take Carole, before they get more crowded tomorrow and the rest of the week,” Kurt suggests. “Or you could just explore a bit.”

“You don’t think we should wait for the Black Friday deals for shopping?” Burt asks.

“Only if you hate your life,” Finn offers.

Noah winces and nods his agreement. “Yeah, I wouldn’t try that.”

“Try, try again!” Harvey says, grinning. 

“Ty, ty, ty, Obby!”

“Enough trying, Peas,” Kurt says wryly. “And yes, Eliza, go brush your teeth.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Eliza says, standing up and giving Kurt a hug, then quickly giving Noah and Finn each one. “I’m going to brush my teeth and leave then. Bye!”

“Have a good day at school,” Finn says. “Aud, give us a call if you get horribly lost in the wilds of Manhattan.”

Carole looks like she’s on the verge of saying something, but finishes her coffee instead as Eliza and Audrey head upstairs, returning just a few moments later to go out the door, Eliza waving as she goes past. 

“Safiya’ll be here soon,” Noah says, picking up the trash and stacking the empty juice glasses. “I think a few of the places Kurt had mentioned, Burt, open earlier than shopping hours.”

“Carole, did you want to go get some of the kids’ Christmas shopping done?” Burt offers.

Carole sets her coffee down and manages a tight smile. “That’s probably a good idea. I suppose I’ll get my coat.” Carole stands up and nods, heading towards the foyer. It takes another fifteen minutes or so for Burt and Carole to leave and Safiya to arrive, but finally Noah walks towards the staircase. 

“Time to go back to bed,” he says cheerfully. 

“Happy anniversary to me!” Finn says. 

 

“Hey rhino-butt, some of us can’t reach things on the top shelf!” Hannah calls from the kitchen. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry that some of you are too short to reach the important stuff,” Finn shouts back. “Why don’t you stand on that boyfriend of yours’ shoulders?”

“You aren’t sorry at all!” Hannah says. 

“She’s probably got you there,” Puck points out, looking up from the block castle he’s being surrounded by, thanks to the Peas. “You really aren’t sorry.”

“Nope. Not sorry at all,” Finn agrees. “I’d go help, but my arms are still tired from carrying all that coffee and hot chocolate around earlier.”

“Hey, everyone appreciated that,” Puck says. “Especially those little twins with all the braids.”

“They’re just lucky Charlie didn’t steal all their beads,” Finn says.

“Tarlie beads?” Harvey says, stopping mid-block placement. “Tarlie beads, Dad.” 

“Me beebs,” Charlie says, nodding her head. “All me beebs.”

“Maybe when you’ve got a little more hair, Charlie,” Finn says. “I think it has to be longer.”

“We could take all of them to the beach with us one year, and she could go to one of those little huts with the braids and the beads,” Kurt says. 

“We should probably warn Pensacola before we do that,” Puck says wryly. 

Finn laughs. “Yeah, not sure the state of Florida can handle the Peas just yet.”

Carole stands up abruptly, looking away from the window for the first time in several minutes, and gestures for Burt to follow her. “Finn, Kurt, Noah, could we speak with you in the dining room, before anyone else arrives?”

“Hey, Aud?” Finn says. “Will you and Eliza keep an eye on the Peas for us for a few minutes?”

“Sure, Dad,” Eliza says, nodding. “We will!”

“I guess that’s your answer,” Audrey says.

Carole walks ahead of the rest of them into the living room, and as Puck carefully stands up, Kurt steps in front of Finn, reaching behind him and squeezing Finn’s hand. Finn reaches out and pinches Kurt’s butt, appreciating the extra ten or so pounds Kurt’s put on since the weather got cold, most of it settling into his cheeks – both sets.

Kurt smothers a laugh, turning around to half-heartedly glare at Finn as he walks. “Finn!”

“I can’t help it!” Finn says. “It was right there, and it was so round!”

“Always did say you needed to not eat the bagel bites while they were still hot,” Puck whispers next to Finn’s ear. 

“But they’re so gooooood when they’re hot,” Finn whispers back. “So soft and squishy.”

“Can you three be serious for a few moments?” Carole snaps. 

“It’s a holiday, Carole,” Kurt replies, raising one eyebrow at her. “And not a particularly solemn one at that. But fine, what is it you two need to talk to us about? Dad?” He turns to Burt and raises both eyebrows. 

“Well, son, it’s just that Carole—” Burt breaks off as Carole clears her throat, continuing with, “And _I_. Carole and I, have some, well. I guess you could say that we both—”

“We don’t think that we can allow Audrey to come out here without us in the spring or summer like we’d discussed before,” Carole says firmly. “Now that we’re fully aware of how your home life is conducted, we don’t feel it’s appropriate for her to fly out here unsupervised.” 

“Mom,” Finn says, feeling more frustrated than anything else. “Come on. Look, I know you were surprised, I know this was kind of sprung on you, but you know Audrey’s fine here with us.”

“We’re not prohibiting her from visiting,” Carole says, “but we will accompany her. She knows we’re unhappy with the current situation.” 

“The current situation?” Puck mutters under his breath, and he moves closer to Finn, putting his arm around Finn and leaning his head on Finn’s shoulder. 

“And when, exactly, will you let her visit without ‘supervision’ again?” Kurt asks Carole, his tone cold. 

“Yeah, Mom. When, exactly?” Finn asks.

“I don’t know, Finn,” Carole spits out. “We’ll make arrangements for a hotel for Audrey’s spring break. Perhaps all of you should come visit Lima this summer, instead of hosting Audrey.”

“A hotel?” Kurt looks between Carole and Burt twice. “Dad? A hotel?”

“Carole can explain that,” Burt says.

“I think everyone would be more comfortable if we weren’t sleeping here,” Carole says. “I’m sure the three of you would rather express yourselves more freely. And I’m sure I’d prefer not to see it or expose Audrey to it.”

“Mom!” Finn says. 

“Three people in a relationship isn’t normal, Finn, and I don’t particularly want Audrey to think that it is.”

“Yeah, ’cause it’s so much worse, what we’ve got here,” Finn blurts. “It’s so much worse than that bullshit with Rachel. Better for everybody to be miserable, huh? Better for everything to be a lie?”

“S’okay,” Puck murmurs. “C’mon. Let K handle it, darling.”

“You’ve made your point,” Kurt says. “And we understand what you’re planning. Is that all? Because we had plans to welcome our friends and family here for Thanksgiving.” He pauses, gathering himself. “A time, as it happens, that generally people give thanks. Not tear other people down or condemn them.” 

“Fine.” Carole sniffs. “We’ll pretend for a while.”

“Pretend to be thankful? That’s so very nice of you,” Kurt says, spinning towards Finn and Puck, his back to Burt and Carole. “Okay, darling?” he asks, dropping his voice. 

“Fourteen years,” Finn says softly enough that only Kurt and Puck can hear. “You’d think something would’ve changed in fourteen years, you know?”

“Oh, it did,” Kurt says quietly but firmly. “We all sleep in the same bed, for starters, and we have three beautiful kids. But nothing she says or thinks really has anything to do with you. We know you, and we love you.”

“Stop,” Puck says, laughing softly. “I’m supposed to be the smart one, blue eyes.” He kisses the side of Finn’s neck. “Listen to K, even if he is just the pretty one.”

“Maybe you can both be the smart one, just this once,” Finn offers. 

“We could all be the naked ones, if we hurry?” Puck suggests. “We’ve got at least ten minutes.” 

“Hey, Finn?” Audrey’s voice calls from the other room. “Syd’s here!”

“Dammit, Syd, can’t even wait ten more minutes,” Finn grumbles. “Guess we’ve gotta go be good hosts now.”

“Oh, darling,” Kurt says with a grin, “we’re the best hosts. The best hosts who will disappear between the meal and dessert.”


	2. Estrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living their lives, raising their children, and other people not liking it doesn't mean they have to change it.

Even though there are two or three hotels closer, Kurt convinces Burt to make their reservations for spring break at the Hotel Beacon, which is nicer but also provides a buffer between their household and Carole. All six of them meet Burt, Carole, and Audrey at the airport, and all nine of them go out for dinner as soon as the luggage is dropped off, but at the end of the evening, Burt, Carole, and Audrey go back to the hotel, leaving Kurt feeling somewhat relieved. 

Audrey’s spring break doesn’t coincide with Eliza’s, which is the entire reason their visit covers two weekends, but Kurt and Noah make arrangements to work mostly at home in the studio, and Kurt knows Finn shifts a few of his appointments as he can. Still, on Monday in the early afternoon, the Peas are with Safiya, Eliza is at school, and Kurt and Noah are in the basement working on one of their current projects. 

“Finn was coming home after lunch with Carole, right?” Noah asks, looking up from the piano. 

“Yes, I think Carole wanted to rest this afternoon, even though Finn had several hours.” Kurt shakes his head. “Dad planned to take Audrey down to Rockefeller Center to eat there.”

“I should’ve asked them to go by Godiva, then.” Noah shakes his head. “Too bad for me.” 

“You’ll survive, baby.” 

Another twenty minutes or so passes before Kurt hears Finn’s footsteps on the stairs outside and his key in the lock. “Time to put _this_ away,” Noah says, grinning, and they pull out a different project as they listen to Finn’s progress towards and then down the stairs. Finally, the door opens, and Finn enters the studio space looking drawn and exhausted. 

“Wanted to let you know I’m back,” Finn says, dully. “I’m going up to fix a drink and sit in the tub.”

Kurt frowns and puts his pencil down. “Darling? What happened?”

“Aud’s not coming over later,” Finn says. “She’s not coming over at all unless mom or dad are with her. Mom doesn’t think Aud needs to be alone with me in my ‘present state’.”

“What the hell?” Noah says, half-standing. “What?”

Kurt draws in his breath sharply. “ _Excuse_ me? Our _sister_ isn’t allowed to be in our home?”

“Don’t worry. It’s not you, it’s me,” Finn says, with a bitter smile. “Apparently, I need to be supervised when in the presence of children.”

“Wait.” Kurt whips his head to look at Noah, whose eyes are narrowed as he speaks. “Children?”

“The girls might be better off with their mother.” 

“The _fuck_?” Kurt can feel himself shaking. “That is _it_.” He steps to Finn and kisses him softly. “You stay with Noah, okay, darling? Let him take care of you.” He can feel Noah right behind him, one hand on Kurt’s back, the other one already sliding through Finn’s hair. 

“That’s right,” Noah agrees. “I’ll get you that drink for starters, okay?”

Finn nods his head slightly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Kurt steps away from the two of them, waiting until he’s almost outside the house to start the phone call. When Burt answers, Kurt doesn’t exchange any pleasantries. “Are you at the hotel?”

“Audrey and I just got back from lunch,” Burt says. 

“Meet me in the lobby in five minutes.”

“Kurt, what’s this about?”

“It’s a conversation we apparently should have had five months ago,” Kurt bites back. “I’m crossing the street. I’ll see you then.” He shuts off the call without any further response from Burt, and walks the rest of the distance to the hotel—and isn’t that ridiculous, to begin with?—in quicker strides than he normally would. He waves to a few familiar faces and then enters the lobby, grabbing a chair in one corner. He doesn’t particularly care if they’re overheard, not at this point. 

 

As soon as Kurt steps away, Noah brings his hand to Finn’s shoulder, using it and the hand in Finn’s hair to pull Finn against Noah’s body. “Scotch?”

“Skip the soda,” Finn says, nodding. Noah walks them up the stairs slowly, keeping himself plastered against Finn’s body as much as possible, trying not to think about anything except Finn, and making Finn feel better, because if he lets his mind wander, his fists start to clench, and he’s not going to do either of them any good. They stop in front of the liquor cabinet, and Noah grabs the scotch, handing it to Finn without a word. Finn picks up a glass and carries it and the bottle of scotch upstairs with him. 

Noah starts the water running in the tub before wrapping his arms around Finn, who’s already poured himself a glass of scotch and looks like he might have it knocked back before the tub is even full. Noah tightens his arms and leans up to taste Finn’s lips, running his tongue along them. Finn’s mouth parts with a soft sigh. Finn’s lips are wet, and Noah can taste the scotch on Finn’s tongue. He pulls Finn’s tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss as he runs his fingers down Finn’s back. 

He pulls back, brings his hands to rest on Finn’s chest, and looks into the tub. “Almost there,” Noah murmurs. “Want to get in now?”

“Yeah. That’s a plan,” Finn says, starting on the buttons of his shirt with one hand, taking another swig of his scotch from the glass in the other. He switches hands with the glass as he shrugs out of his shirt, then pulls his undershirt over his head without even sloshing what’s left of the scotch. 

“It is,” Noah agrees, pulling off his own sweater and starting to work on his jeans. 

Finn unfastens his own belt, still one-handed, and then fumbles with the button on his jeans. “Fuck,” he mutters, when he can’t get it undone. He knocks back the last of the scotch in his glass. 

“Need some help?” Noah says lightly, reaching for Finn’s jeans and unfastening them quickly. He refills the glass while Finn’s still holding it, then caps the scotch and sets it near the door. “C’mon. Into the tub.”

Finn nods compliantly and steps into the tub, glass in hand, sinking into the water up to his chest. Noah steps out of the rest of his clothes and climbs in beside Finn, pressing against his side and kissing Finn’s neck. Finn leans his head to the side, giving Noah access to more of his neck, closing his eyes as Noah moves down Finn’s neck and then along his collarbone. “Love you, darling,” Noah murmurs against Finn’s skin.

“Love you,” Finn replies, his voice barely audible. 

“Always,” Noah adds, nipping at the skin just below Finn’s collarbone. He runs a finger in a large circle around Finn’s nipple, teasing, not letting it get too close. Finn makes a low noise, moving his hand through the water to graze along Noah’s hipbone. Noah grins and lowers his head to Finn’s nipple, letting his tongue run along the piercing there. 

“Mmm, Noah,” Finn says, burying his free hand in Noah’s hair. There’s the faint sound of Finn drinking again, and Noah waits until he hears the glass being set on the tub before he scrapes at Finn with his teeth. Finn gasps, then his hands are on Noah’s hips, dragging Noah into his lap and crushing his mouth against Noah’s hard enough that their teeth knock together almost painfully. 

Noah moves his hips, settling into a comfortable spot, Finn’s erection trapped between them, and he pulls away after a moment with a little grin. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Finn answers, with his first real smile since he came home from lunch. 

“There’s my Finn,” Noah says contentedly, brushing their lips together very briefly before resting his head on Finn’s shoulder. Finn wraps his arms around Noah and holds him tightly, nuzzling the top of Noah’s head.

“Thank god I get to come home to you,” Finn whispers into Noah’s hair. “I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Dunno,” Noah agrees, pressing kisses to the skin under his lips. “Don’t want to think about it, actually.”

“Me either. Never gonna have to find out, either.”

“No,” Noah breathes. “We don’t.” He tilts his head up, meeting Finn’s eyes, and waits. 

Finn pushes up with his legs enough to raise them slightly out of the water, and he dispenses a little lube into his palm from the bottle by the tub. He keeps his eyes locked with Noah’s while he slicks his cock up and then lowers them both into the water. “I need to fuck you now,” Finn says.

“Yes. Good,” Noah answers, nodding and biting his lip. “Please.”

Finn grips Noah around one thigh, lifting him up a little. Finn repositions his cock so that he can pull Noah down on top of it, which he does in a smooth, fast motion, sliding inside completely. Noah sighs and shudders around Finn, letting his eyes close. “Thank you.”

“Mmm, you’re welcome,” Finn says, thrusting up into Noah. “I needed this so much.”

“I’m always yours. Whatever you need.” Noah just sits there, letting Finn thrust into him, clutching at Finn’s shoulders.

“Put your arms around my neck,” Finn says. “Just hold on to me.” Noah nods and does as instructed, looping his arms around Finn’s neck and letting himself hang there. “Open your eyes, Noah. Open your eyes and look at me.”

“Yes,” Noah gasps, forcing himself to open his eyes, staring into Finn’s gaze. “Fuck, yes, please please harder.”

Finn grabs Noah by the hips, pressing his fingertips hard into Noah’s skin, letting his nails dig in a little. He thrusts upward into Noah, simultaneously pulling Noah down on Finn’s cock. “God, you’re _so_ good, Noah. So good.”

Noah has to fight not to let his eyes close again, Finn’s stare is so intense and Noah just wants to let go, to focus on Finn’s cock pounding into him. He hears himself whimper a little, and Finn wraps his fingers loosely around Noah’s cock, just enough to provide the tiniest amount of friction.

“Please, Finn,” Noah cries. “Please.”

Finn’s fingers closer around Noah’s cock, stroking him. “My Noah. Asking so sweet.” Finn keeps pulling Noah down onto himself with his other hand, timing his thrusts to the movement of his hand on Noah’s cock. 

“Yes, yours, yours, yours, please, please,” Noah babbles, struggling to hold his eyes open. 

“That’s right,” Finn says. “That’s right. _Mine_. You are mine, mine.” He slams Noah down on his cock in time to his words. “Look in my eyes, baby. Look in my eyes and come with me.”

“Fuck!” Noah cries as he does, coming hard with Finn still thrusting into him and his gaze fixed on Finn. 

Finn is only seconds behind Noah, arching his back and snapping his hips up, coming with a wordless cry, his fingers digging into Noah’s hip. Finally, he slumps forward, wrapping his arms around Noah and holding him close.

“I love you. I love you, you are mine, and I love you,” he says, pulling Noah against his chest and letting them both sink down into the water. 

“I am yours,” Noah agrees, letting his eyes close again at last. “Love you darling.”

 

A few minutes pass as Kurt sits in the lobby, before the elevator opens and Burt exits. He crosses the lobby to Kurt and sits down. “So what’s going on, kid?” Burt asks. 

“Why don’t you tell me? Let’s start with why my sister is not allowed in my home without you or your wife?”

“Wait a minute,” Burt says, looking confused and a little stung. “Hold up. What are you talking about?”

“Finn came home from lunch and told us Carole says Audrey’s not allowed in our house unless one of you is there,” Kurt hisses, eyes narrowed. “Why exactly is that?”

“Come on, Kurt. We talked about this,” Burt says, running his hand over his scalp. “Given your, uh, _situation_ , we think it’s best that one of us comes out here to stay when Audrey comes into town to visit. This isn’t new.”

“It’s not any less insulting, either,” Kurt snaps back, “but until today, Audrey _was_ allowed to be in our _presence_ without a bodyguard!”

“Look, this isn’t something Carole and I have discussed,” Burt admits. “I don’t think she’d have made a decision like that rashly, though. I’m sure there’s some kind of explanation for it that makes sense, given the circumstances.”

“I tried to think of one on the way here. So far I’ve come up with, she thinks Finn’s a child molester. She thinks _Noah’s_ a child molester. Or, she thinks _I_ am a child molester. Which of those three is it, do you think? What other suggestion could there be?”

Burt looks around the lobby. “Kurt, will you lower your voice, please? I don’t think she thinks any of that stuff. Let’s go up to the room. We’ll talk to her and get this figured out, okay?”

“I don’t want to look at her right now,” Kurt refuses. “She _also_ told him that the girls might be better off with _Rachel_ , Dad. Why is she trying to take our children away from us?” 

“Kurt, now, come on,” Burt protests. “She wouldn’t do anything like that. She wouldn’t try to take the girls away from Finn.”

“She just said it to Finn over lunch, Dad. And they are _ours_.”

“I think that, given the situation, she just doesn’t really know what to say,” Burt says. “Of course she has some concerns. So do I. And I understand you three not wanting all of this to get around to everybody, I do, but don’t you think the girls’ mother should know, at least? For the girls’ sake?”

“The girls are perfectly fine and happy and don’t have a particular ‘sake’ in this case. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “And really, ‘situation’, Dad? Are you afraid to call it what it is?”

“And what exactly am I supposed to call it, Kurt?” Burt counters. “Huh? There’s not an easy term for it because it’s _not a normal thing_.”

Kurt slams his hand onto the table beside him. “Would you _stop_ with your fucking insistence on ‘normal’? If you sincerely want to know what to call ‘it’ I can tell you, but not if you’re going to throw it back in our faces!”

“You’ve just expected us to accept it from day one, without question, and you know what, Kurt? Maybe we need a little extra time. We did each have to come to terms with the fact that our son has been sleeping with his stepbrother for the past fourteen years.”

“Not really at issue regarding ‘normal’ or what to call the relationship,” Kurt points out, eyebrows raised. “But sure, Dad. How much time do you need? How much time does Carole need to figure out new ways to absolutely destroy Finn? How much time do you want to spend without seeing your grandchildren?”

“Kurt, that’s unfair. You can’t threaten us with—”

“If you can’t respect your grandchildren’s parents, you don’t need to see them,” Kurt interrupts. “Harvey’s nearly three, Charlie copies everything Harvey does, and Eliza’s six. You think they wouldn’t notice? At least _I_ have legitimate reasoning behind such a decision which, by the way, is not a threat.”

“What do you expect me to do, Kurt?” Burt asks. “Carole’s not happy about this. Don’t put me in a position to have to choose between my wife and my kids and my grandkids.”

“I’m not the one causing this, Dad. Neither I nor Finn nor Noah nor the kids are asking you to choose at all.” He pauses. “So you’ll have the information: _relationship_ works. _Triad_ works, too.” Kurt pauses and smirks for a split second before he makes himself sober. “Tell me, Dad. Is it really the fact that we’re stepbrothers? Or is Carole just upset because Finn’s with _men_ instead of a woman?”

“Carole has always been very loving and accepting of who you are, Kurt. Don’t try to paint her to be some kind of homophobe!”

“Of who _I_ am, yes! _Listen_ to what I’m saying. Is it because _Finn_ isn’t with a woman?”

“Well he put a lot of effort into appearing straight, didn’t he? He hid it from us,” Burt says.

“Wonder why that was,” Kurt says flatly. “Couldn’t have possibly had anything to do with how his mother might react, could it?”

“Maybe if we’d have a little warning.”

Kurt snorts once before he suppresses the urge to laugh fully. Carole had had a warning, in a sense, fourteen years of it, and it hadn’t made any difference as far as Kurt can tell. “And since she didn’t, he’s not to be trusted? Classy. Really classy.”

“None of you have been particularly honest with us, Kurt,” Burt says. “And Finn’s been the least honest of the three of you.”

“To be blunt, we’re not under any obligation to discuss our sex life or our relationships as consenting adults. What you’re saying, though, sounds like Carole is punishing Finn for not being straight. Maybe it’s for not being honest about it, too. But it still sounds like punishment.”

“Choices have repercussions.”

As Burt speaks, Kurt can feel his face changing, shifting back into a mask he hadn’t thought his muscles remembered. They do, though, and Kurt stands, looking down at Burt. “So be it. So do yours, Burt.” With that, he turns and starts to walk from the lobby, forcing himself to take deep breaths. He can’t let Carole continue to attack Finn, and he can’t let the kids be exposed to her virulent opinions, and Burt seems to be fine with letting Carole take the lead on the issue. 

“Kurt. _Kurt_ ,” Burt calls after him. Kurt swallows and stiffens his back, continuing to walk away. His father taught him that nothing comes before your family. His family is waiting on him, counting on him. 

 

Finn carries the bottle of scotch and the glass back down to the kitchen. He puts the bottle into the liquor cabinet and turns towards the sink when he notices Kurt standing there by the pantry. He’s pale and silent as a ghost, and Finn wonders how long Kurt has been standing here in the dark kitchen, waiting for someone to come find him.

“Kurt?” Finn says, pitching his voice low so as not to startle him. “You ok?”

Kurt looks over at Finn slowly. “Finn,” he says, his voice strangely light. “Hi.”

“Oh, Kurt,” Finn says, crossing the kitchen and pulling Kurt into his arms without any more words. Kurt leans against him, boneless and almost limp. Finn rubs small circles on Kurt’s back, kissing the top of his head. 

“We can wait six years, right? Not even six. It’ll be hard but it’s not too long.”

Finn isn’t sure what six years Kurt’s talking about, but Kurt doesn’t sound like he’s up for questions, so Finn just holds him more tightly. “Six years is nothing.”

“I didn’t have a choice, Finn, I couldn’t— couldn’t—” Kurt stops and make a sound like he’s choking on his words or maybe tears. 

“Whatever it is, I know you did what’s right,” Finn says, firmly. “You do the right thing for us, Kurt. Always.”

“I did. We have to keep them safe. I have to keep you safe. My family.”

Finn brushes the hair off Kurt’s forehead, kissing the patch of silky skin right at Kurt’s temple. “You do, bossofme. You keep us all safe. You work so hard for us.”

“I need.”

“I know,” Finn says. “I know what you need.” 

“I don’t,” Kurt admits, a somewhat hysterical laugh slipping out after the words. 

“Just let me take care of you, ok?” Finn offers. “That’s all. Just let me take care of you for a little while.”

Kurt nods slowly. “We take care of each other.” 

“You need the bed?” Finn asks, softly. Kurt looks up at Finn and nods once with a small smile. Finn picks Kurt up—even when he’s still carrying a few of those extra winter pounds, Kurt’s still the lightest of the three of them by far—and cradles Kurt in his arms. “Here, just put your arms around my neck, ok?” Now Kurt nods and wraps his arms around Finn’s neck, burying his face in Finn’s chest. Finn carefully heads towards the stairs, thanking himself for his continued commitment to morning weightlifting and running, and balances Kurt in his arms in a limp bundle. 

Slowly, Finn carries Kurt upstairs, where he lays him on the bed. Finn runs the water in the sink until it’s warm, wets a washcloth, and dabs at Kurt’s tearstained face, then pulls the blankets over him. “You want me to lie down with you?” Finn asks. 

“For a little while,” Kurt says quietly. “What about the Peas, when Safiya gets back?”

“I can stay up here for a while,” Finn says, sliding under the blankets with Kurt. “Then I’ll go downstairs and handle the Peas, and you can have a little rest until dinner time. ” He presses his lips against Kurt’s. “I love you. You, Noah, and the kids. You always come first for me.”

 

The orange light from the sunset is coming in from the back door when Kurt and Noah head downstairs just before dinnertime, and Kurt laughs when he and Noah reach the bottom of the stairs. “I can tell what’s for dinner,” Kurt says after taking a deep breath. 

“Daddy!” Eliza comes running across the room, grinning. “Did Papa help you finish your work?”

Kurt tilts his head at Noah for a minute, and Noah just grins. “Yes, he did,” Kurt answers Eliza, shaking his head slightly and fighting a laugh. “He said he helped you with your homework earlier, too.”

Charlie comes tearing across the room in Kurt’s direction. “Daddy daddy daddy I kick Harbey!”

“You did?” Kurt picks her up and looks at her with a frown. “Why did you kick your brother, Charlie?”

Charlie’s face screws up into a perfect miniature of Finn’s thinking face. “In him _leg_!”

“Yes, she did,” Finn says, from in front of the stove. “Harvey was very sad you kicked him in the leg, wasn’t he, Charlie?”

“Harbey say noooooooo,” Charlie answers, nodding her head in a most serious fashion. 

“That is sad,” Kurt agrees. “I’m sure you won’t kick him again.” He shakes his head, already doubting his own words.

“At least until tomorrow,” Noah whispers, laughing. 

“Where is Harvey now?” Kurt asks, looking at Charlie. 

“Work!” Charlie says. “Harbey workin’!”

“He’s in the foyer with his trains,” Finn explains. “He needed some space to get calmed down. It was too traumatic for hugs to fix.”

“Train work is important work.”

“It is,” Noah agrees. “And Charlie kicks are very traumatic.”

“She hasn’t kicked anybody in a while,” Finn says. “I think she knows something's up. She threw the bag of cheese on the ground earlier, too, and you know how she feels about cheese.”

“We did have to buy a different brand this week,” Noah points out. “I bet it didn’t look right, did it, Charlie?”

“I kick Harbey!”

“She yelled ‘not cheese’ when she threw it, so you might be right,” Finn says. “Fancy mac n’ cheese’ll be out in about five minutes, though.”

“Maybe we should go find Harvey,” Kurt suggests to Charlie. “We can help him put up his trains before dinner.”

“You can tell Harvey you’re sorry you kicked his leg,” Finn says. “That might make him feel happier.”

“Sorry, Harbey,” Charlie nods. “Sorry you leg!”

“That’s a nice apology, Charlie,” Finn says. “Go with Daddy to find Harvey and you can tell him your nice apology.”

Kurt and Charlie find Harvey not far away, holding two trains and clearly listening to the rest of them. “Hey, Harvey,” Kurt says, smiling and bending down. “Which trains are you playing with?”

“Big Blue and Grumpy.”

“Good choices.” Kurt sets Charlie on the ground in front of Harvey. “I’m going to pick up these tracks for you while Charlie says something to you, okay?” Harvey just nods, still clutching his trains and glowering at Charlie.

“Sorry you leg,” Charlie says. “Sorry, Harbey! Sorry!” 

“Okay, Charlie.” Harvey holds out one hand. “Here, you take Grumpy.”

“Grumpy train! Sorry, Harbey! Tank you, Harbey!” Charlie takes the train and gives it a big kiss. 

“Let’s take the trains and put them in their bin, and then I think Dad will have dinner ready for us, okay?” Kurt stands back up, walking the two of them to the toy bins before heading towards the dinner table, where Noah and Eliza are already sitting.

“All better?” Noah asks, and Harvey nods, climbing into his seat. 

“Charlie said sorry,” he informs Noah, very matter-of-factly. 

“Sorry you leg, Harbey!” Charlie pipes up. “Sorry! Sorry you leg!”

“I can hear that,” Noah chuckles. 

“Dinner is served,” Finn announces, setting the dish of ‘fancy mac n’ cheese’ on the table with a flourish. “Harvey, did you want to cut up the salad really quick?”

Harvey nods and scrambles back out of his seat. “I will help you!”

Finn hands Harvey the safety scissors and the bowl of lettuce, and Harvey sits on the floor with the bowl, happily snipping lettuce leaves into ribbons. When the salad is suitably shredded, Finn retrieves the bowl, tosses in a handful of cherry tomatoes, and places it on the table. 

“Thank you for helping with dinner,” Noah says to each of the kids, and Eliza and Harvey just grin. 

“Not cheese!” Charlie states. “Onna _floor_!”

“We’ll get the right kind next week, okay, Char?” Noah reassures her. “I think it’ll taste okay, though.”

“I kick Harbey. He say noooooooo!”

“Well, you can tell us about it again after you eat,” Kurt suggests, putting some of the macaroni and cheese on Charlie’s plate. “Okay?”

“Kay!” Charlie says, sticking her fork into her macaroni. 

“If she forgets, let’s not remind her,” Kurt murmurs.

“I’m not sure if she was more upset about the cheese or kicking Harvey,” Finn says. “She felt pretty strongly about both.”

“I’d hate to see what she’d do if he had the wrong label,” Noah says wryly. “Or the wrong clothes, anyway.”

“She’d find it more problematic to throw him on the ground, I would think,” Kurt muses. “But perhaps not.”

“She’s kind of freak-show strong,” Finn says. “The problem would be getting him to hold still long enough for her to pick him up.”

Kurt laughs. “I swear, the only thing that keeps either of them still is each other.”

“Charlie, you can’t just eat cherry tomatoes,” Finn says. “Eat the lettuce and the mac n’ cheese, too.” Charlie laughs and crams two more tomatoes into her mouth, popping them with her teeth. 

“Could be worse,” Noah points out. “Remember that kid at Eliza’s school when we ate lunch there? The one that had a bowl of croutons and salad dressing?”

“True. They aren’t picky eaters, at least,” Finn agrees. 

“That was Sasha. She has pretty hair,” Eliza says. “She never eats lettuce but her mom told Ms. Little that she _has_ to have a bowl from the salad bar every day.”

“What a waste of mental energy,” Kurt sighs. “How often do you have salad, sweet potato?”

Eliza shrugs. “Always on Fridays, ’cause they never have good food on Friday. Sometimes on Tuesday and Wednesday, too.”

“Not a fan of the fish sticks, are you, kiddo?” Finn says. 

“They’re not fish, Dad!” Eliza protests. “Fish is good.”

“Fish is fends!” Charlie says. 

“Not food!” Harvey finishes, grinning at Charlie, so apparently the earlier kicking drama is forgotten at least on his end. 

“Dad a _whale_!” Charlie demands. “Whale! Whale!”

“Wheeeeere aaaaaaare yoooouuuuu gooooooing?” Finn says, in his best whale. “Coooooome baaaaaaack!”

Harvey dissolves into giggles. “More, Dad!”

“More whale! More whale!” Charlie laughs, clapping her hands. 

“More whale at bedtime, Peas,” Finn says. “Finish your dinner and I’ll do _two_ whales at bedtime.”

Harvey holds up two fingers and then counts them, pointing with his other hand. “One. Two. Two!”

“That’s right, two fingers,” Noah nods. “Just like you and Charlie are two.”

“I will be three!”

“I be a _whale_!”

“Eat your whale food, then, little girl,” Kurt says with a smile. “Do you want to help Daddy with the dishes?”

“Nemo find him daddy?” Charlie asks. 

“He did.” Kurt nods. “Safe and sound.”

“Nemo _always_ finds his daddy,” Finn says. “Every time. Daddies always find their babies. Don’t worry.” Charlie nods and continues eating her dinner in relative quiet. 

“Nemo is orawnge,” Harvey says. “And white! Plate, too.”

“Nemo is a clown fish. He lives in a reef,” Eliza states. “The reef is dying because people touch it. And because the oceans are too hot.”

“That’s right.” Kurt smiles at her. “But it can recover, right?”

“Right!” Eliza chirps. “I’m all done! I ate everything! Thank you, Dad!”

“Done!” Charlie parrots. “Tank you, Dad!”

“No, Charlie, you still have mac n’ cheese,” Finn says. “Two more bites. Harv, can you count the bites for Charlie?”

Harvey nods as Charlie puts one bite in her mouth. “One! One, Charlie!”

“One!” Charlie hoots. “One!” She puts the second bite in her mouth.

“Two! Two bites in Charlie!” Harvey looks at Finn, grinning. “Play now?”

“Done! All bites!” Charlie climbs down from her booster seat. 

“We’ll wash up those messy hands first,” Finn says, standing up and going to the sink for a wash cloth. Charlie and Harvey both stick out their hands for Finn to wipe them up. “Ok, go on and play. _One bin_ , you two.”

“Blocks, Charlie!” Harvey announces, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the dining room. She shrieks “Boom! Boom!” as they go.

“Well, I guess they made up,” Finn notes. “No more shin-kicking trauma.”

“When you make up with Daddy, you kiss,” Eliza says. “But you kiss Daddy and Papa anyway.”

“I also never, never kick Daddy in the leg,” Finn says. “Charlie likes more kicks, less kisses.”

“Okay.” Eliza shrugs. “You can kiss now,” she adds, climbing down from her chair and walking out of the dining room. “I’m going to read my homework book again!”

Kurt laughs. “Good to know we have her permission.”

“Lucky that she likes those tadpoles, more like,” Noah jokes. 

“Guess that means I should kiss you now,” Finn says, coming over to Kurt’s chair and leaning down to kiss him softly. “Didn’t even have to kick you first.”

Kurt giggles against Finn’s lips. “No, no kicking required.”

“Besides, you might hurt your feet.” Noah stands up and walks behind them. “Go play with the kids, darling, Kurt’s got the clean up.”

“Sweet of you to volunteer me.”

“You were going to do it anyway.”

“You guys,” Finn says, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be out with the Peas and the blocks.”

“If you’re lucky, you’ll get a turn at knocking down!”

“Noah, you’ve _met_ Charlie, right?” Finn asks. “Harv’s lucky he gets a turn.”

“Go,” Kurt shoos Finn out of the room. “Go stack.”

Once everyone’s out of the kitchen, Kurt loads the dishwasher and washes a few things. Kurt returns the last pot to the cabinet and starts the dishwasher with a click before turning off the light and heading into the living room, where Eliza is explaining, in great detail, something about frogs and toads to Noah. 

“And they don’t really give you warts! Isn’t that silly?”

“Very silly,” Noah agrees, nodding. 

“Did the Peas plot an escape or does Finn have them?”

“Hopefully the latter,” Noah grins. “All done?”

“All done.” Kurt crosses the room and sits on the other side of Noah, kissing him briefly on his way. “Toads?”

“They turn into princes, right?” Finn asks, walking back into the living room. “That’s how it works?” He sits on the arm of the sofa.

“Don’t sit on the arm,” Kurt says absently. “You’ll break it.”

“Why would I want my toads to turn into princes?” Eliza asks, making a face. “That’s weird, Dad.”

“Haven’t yet,” Finn says, wiggling around on the sofa arm a little pointedly. “Eliza, it’s bed time. Give everybody some goodnight love and we’ll head up to bed.”

“Okay.” Eliza flings her arms around Kurt and kisses his cheek. “Good night, Daddy.”

“Good night, Eliza. Sleep well.”

“I will!” Eliza moves back to Noah. “Good night, Papa! Check for a frog in your bed!”

Noah laughs. “I will. Go with Dad. We’ll see you in the morning.”

Finn and Eliza walk out of the living room, Finn pausing in the doorway to say, “Meet you upstairs.”

“Okay,” Kurt nods, standing back up. “I’ll get the lights,” he says to Noah, who also nods.

When they get upstairs, Kurt takes his clothes off and climbs into the middle of the bed, pulling the duvet over himself. “Can you get us some wine from the office, baby?”

“Sure,” Noah agrees. “One glass each?”

Kurt nods after a second. “That’s fine.”

By the time Noah returns, Kurt can hear Finn heading up the stairs, and so Kurt waits to take a sip. Finn appears in the doorway, already pulling off his shirt. 

“Peas are snoring. Well, Charlie’s snoring and Harvey’s sleeping through it like always. Eliza was still talking about tadpoles when I left, but she’ll be out soon, I think,” Finn says, stripping out of his pants as well. He climbs into bed next to Kurt. “Hey, bossofme.”

“Hello, darling.” Kurt leans his head onto Finn’s shoulder. “This tadpole obsession is new,” he notes. 

“New unit in science,” Noah explains. “They have a whole tank of them in the classroom.”

“That explains it.”

“We should get her one for home,” Finn says. “I’ve seen those kits.”

“As long as we let the frog go in the park,” Kurt concedes. “I don’t actually want to look for a frog in the bed.”

“We can probably manage that,” Finn agrees. “Only one cold-blooded creature allowed in this house?”

“And I’m the only one!” Kurt sing-songs. 

“Bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun?” Noah asks, grinning. “Your wine’s behind you, Finn.”

“Thanks,” Finn says, picking up the glass and then curling up around Kurt. He runs his fingers through Kurt’s hair, then takes a sip of his wine. 

“Mmm.” Kurt sighs. “I love you both.” Noah’s wrapped around his other side, and he could probably sink backwards and barely move. Kurt takes a sip of his own wine. “So.”

“So,” Finn echoes, leaning a little closer to Kurt.

“I.” Kurt takes a deep breath. “I told them they weren’t welcome here.”

“Oh, blue eyes,” Noah murmurs, pressing his lips against Kurt’s shoulders. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

Finn nods silently. 

Kurt frowns as he speaks. “I didn’t feel like we could take the chance of them saying something to the kids, or saying something to us, in front of them. Burt won’t even use the word _relationship_ – it’s all ‘this’ and ‘situation’ and ‘circumstances’, like some kind of government report where the authors don’t want you to actually know what they’re talking about.” He exhales heavily and closes his eyes for a moment. 

“My mom called it ‘indecent and frankly, downright perverse’,” Finn says, softly. “‘Situation’ would have been nice by comparison.”

Noah hisses on Kurt’s other side, sliding his arm behind Kurt, presumably to touch Finn’s arm or back, and his other hand rests on Kurt’s leg. “ _Fuck_ ,” Kurt exhales. “Now I wish I had gone upstairs and talked to her face.”

Finn shrugs slightly. “Doubt the outcome would have been much different.”

“No, but I could have thrown a few insults in on your behalf. At least I know I made the right decision, with her saying that.” Kurt sighs. “I know it’s a long time before Audrey’s eighteen.”

“We’ve all waited a long time for things before,” Finn says. 

“Yes,” Kurt agrees. “And they were worth the wait.”

Noah laughs softly. “Yes, they were.”

“I wouldn’t do it any differently,” Kurt says abruptly. “Any of it. This, my life, it is _so_ good. There is nothing I would change. The only thing would be to change the world a little more.” He turns towards Finn and slides his cheek along Finn’s. “I hate having to pretend sometimes, darling.”

“I’m sorry if I make it harder. I don’t think about it, sometimes, and I slip up,” Finn says. 

“You don’t,” Kurt and Noah say almost simultaneously. They still do pretend; it’s an open secret within a limited circle of people affiliated with theatre, but Kurt isn’t sure what the broader audience would think, and he and Noah aren’t sure what the impact would or wouldn’t be on Finn’s practice, either. 

“I just forget,” Finn says. “When I came home, everything just felt so _normal_ for the first time in, god, _years_. I forget it doesn’t look like that from the outside.”

“The best day of my life,” Noah says quietly, “is the day you came home, darling. Everything finally felt _right_ , like it all clicked into place. What we have— it’s so special, you two.”

“It is,” Kurt agrees. “It’s everything. I mean it – my life is close to perfect. And so.” He shrugs a little. “I probably should feel worse about it, actually. But it was so easy, so so easy. He was a threat to my family, so I eliminated the threat as best I could.”

“Oh, bossofme,” Finn sighs, setting his empty glass over on the side table, then putting his arm across Kurt’s stomach. “Always stuck with the hard work.”

“It’s _my_ job,” Kurt points out. “I’d make the same choice a hundred thousand times.”

“You’re the strong one. You always have been,” Finn says. 

“You two _make_ me strong. I love you both. I _need_ you both.” Kurt puts one hand over Noah’s and lets his head rest against Finn’s chest. “We’ll need to talk to Eliza. The Peas won’t ask after a few days. And you should call Beth,” Kurt adds, squeezing Noah’s hand. 

“I did,” Noah says quietly. “Beth laughed and said she’d heard from Audrey a few months ago, and Shelby laughed even harder. Apparently she figured it out somewhere around Beth’s ninth birthday.”

Kurt half-smiles. “Yes. Good.”

“The Peas love Audrey, but the rest of the world could blow up and they probably wouldn’t notice as long as they had each other. Do you want me to talk to Eliza, though?” Finn asks. “We should probably decide on language before any of us says anything.”

“If we all do, she’s going to know something’s wrong,” Noah says, “and yet.” 

“Something _is_ wrong,” Finn agrees, “but she’s the most likely to get upset. We don’t want her to think anybody’s mad at her or the Peas, or that Audrey doesn’t want to see us.”

“Right,” Kurt nods. “We should remind her that Audrey has to obey what Burt and Carole say, just like she has to obey what we say.”

Finn sighs. “I think we might be better finding an explanation that leaves Burt and my mom out of it, honestly,” he says. “The last thing I want is for her to feel like she’s been abandoned again.”

“What could we say, though?” Kurt asks. “It’s not as though there’s an easy explanation.”

“We can give her a more complicated explanation as she gets older, if this continues,” Finn says. “For now, it might be enough to tell her we can’t see Audrey for a while, because she has to stay in Ohio right now.”

“True.”

“We should plan something else for those two weeks in July. Tell her in a few weeks, let her look forward to that instead.”

“How about the Poconos? I’ve always wanted to try those champagne glass hot tubs,” Finn says.

Kurt laughs, and beside him, Noah chuckles. “I don’t think the kids would enjoy that quite as much,” Kurt points out. 

“Boston, then?” Finn suggests. “We’ll talk to Tina and get her to suggest some places to go that the kids might enjoy.”

“We could go up to Salem, too.”

“Out on the Cape for a few days.”

“I want to go sailing,” Finn says. “Maybe rent a little boat and take it out for the afternoon.”

“I think we should leave the Peas on shore for that one,” Kurt giggles. 

“Hey, I think Charlie would love sailing!”

“In a few years,” Noah laughs. “We’d spend the entire time fishing her out of the surf.”

“Well, she _is_ going to be a whale,” Finn says. 

“Don’t they have whale-watching cruises?” Kurt muses. “They’d like that.”

Finn nods. “I think there’s a children’s museum, too. We’ll start checking into that.”

“Okay. Good.” Kurt sighs a little and finishes the wine in his glass. “What a day.” Kurt lets his eyes close, leaning against the two of them. Finn plucks Kurt’s glass from his hand and sets it next to the other glass on the end table. “Thank you, darling.”

“Anything,” Finn answers. “Anything you need.”

“I know.” Kurt smiles lazily, his eyes still closed. “You two give me everything I need.”

Finn runs his hand down Kurt’s chest, resting his palm on Kurt’s stomach. “What do you need right now?”

“This. The two of you. My loves.”

Noah brushes his lips over Kurt’s ear and then presses them against the skin behind it. “We need you, too, blue eyes.” Noah slides his hand down Kurt’s back. “What do you think, darling? Should we keep him warm?”

“Poor bossofme, gets so cold,” Finn says, leaning to run his tongue around Kurt’s earlobe. 

“I do,” Kurt agrees, nodding slowly. “I do get cold. I like to be kept warm.”

Noah chuckles against Kurt’s ear. “Yes, you like that. I think you like us better than blankets and sweaters, though.”

“Yes. It’s better to be cold at home.”

“Yeah, ’cause we’ve never, ever kept you warm out of the house,” Finn says, laughing. 

Kurt grins and cracks his eyes open, looking up at Finn. “Mmm. I like that, too.” 

“Our kinky little Kurt. That’s you,” Noah agrees. 

“He really is,” Finn says.

“You like me kinky,” Kurt asserts. “I keep you on your toes. Or you keep me on mine.” He grins. 

“It’s easy to keep you on your toes. You’re so _tiny_ ,” Finn says, grinning back. 

“I want.” Kurt pauses and purses his lips. “I want your fingers and I want your cock.”

“Do you think we can oblige?” Noah says to Finn. 

“How about,” Finn says, rising up on his knees to reach the bottle of lube on the side table, “I’ll get him ready, and then you can fuck him.”

“I think he’d like that,” Noah agrees. “He does like your fingers.”

“Mmmhmm,” Kurt hums. “So nice.”

Finn pours some lube into his hand. “Just lie back on Noah,” Finn says. “Let us take care of you.”

Kurt nods and closes his eyes again, lying back against Noah. “Always.” Noah wraps an arm loosely around Kurt’s chest, kissing the top of Kurt’s head. 

Finn leans across Kurt’s body to kiss Kurt forcefully, parting Kurt’s lips with his tongue. While Finn’s lips are still on his, Kurt feels Finn’s finger barely grazing his opening, then sliding inside, just the tip. 

“Tease,” Kurt whines, barely moving his lips against Finn’s.

“Mmhmm,” Finn murmurs, pushing his finger a little further inside. Kurt wriggles in place, pushing against Finn’s finger. Finn responds by pushing his finger all the way in, crooking it slightly. “Better?”

“Yes,” Kurt hisses, his body arching slightly. “Better.” Noah brushes his hand over Kurt’s nipples, running his thumb over the right one with a little more pressure, and Kurt whimpers slightly. 

Finn pulls his finger out and then slides two back in. Kurt nods, whimpering again, this time more loudly. “Such nice fingers, aren’t they?” Noah murmurs, kissing behind Kurt’s ear repeatedly. 

“They are, they are,” Kurt answers, leaving his lips somewhat parted. Finn inches down Kurt’s body, his fingers still inside Kurt, running his tongue in little circles across Kurt’s chest and stomach. “Mmm, such a nice mouth, too.” Finn grins up at Kurt, then darts his tongue out to lick the head of Kurt’s cock. Kurt grins and shifts his hips a little. “And a nice tongue!”

Finn runs his tongue from the base of Kurt’s cock to the tip, then takes Kurt into his mouth, moving slowly, just tasting him. Kurt pushes his hips upward a fraction as Noah slides his thumb and forefinger over Kurt’s nipple, then runs his tongue over his lips. “Yeah,” Noah says, voice low, “that’s a very nice picture.”

Finn continues to work his fingers in and out of Kurt, moving his mouth up and down Kurt’s cock, before pulling away and looking up at Noah. “Ready to tag in?”

Kurt can feel Noah grin against his head. “Sure.” Kurt can hear the bottle exchange hands followed by the sound of Noah’s hand on his cock. “Help us out?”

Kurt opens his eyes to watch Finn make his thinking face. “Yeah, come here,” Finn finally says, definitively, rolling onto his back and pulling Kurt on top of him. Kurt giggles a little, taking the lube that Noah presses into his hand and spreading some on his fingers before brushing them over Finn’s entrance. Finn makes a quiet noise and lifts his hips towards Kurt. 

“Patience, darling,” Kurt says. He reaches behind him, ghosting his hand over Noah’s cock briefly. “Noah.” 

“Mmm.” Noah pushes in with his cock as Kurt slides two fingers into Finn, Kurt’s other hand moving to hold onto Finn’s hip. “There we go.”

“Yes,” Kurt repeats, moving his fingers slowly in and out of Finn, sighing as Noah slides completely inside him. “Yes. Finn?” 

“ _Now_ , Kurt,” Finn breathes. 

“Yes.” Kurt removes his fingers and pushes his cock slowly into Finn until he’s fully inside, and the three of them don’t move for a long moment. “You asked what I needed?” Finn makes an affirmative sound in response. “Well, this is my answer,” Kurt finishes, smiling. 

Finn reaches up and brushes his thumb across Kurt’s cheek. “I love you.”

Kurt’s grin widens. “Of course you do. Who wouldn’t?” He punctuates the end of the sentence with a small thrust of his hips. Finn gasps, and the hand touching Kurt’s cheek moves around to the back of Kurt’s head, pulling him towards Finn for a kiss. Kurt parts his lips, running his tongue over Finn’s bottom lip slowly as they kiss. 

Noah moves his hips as well, hands on Kurt’s, thrusting shallowly and then a little deeper as the three of them begin to rock together. Kurt wraps his hand loosely around Finn’s cock as they move slowly. 

“So good,” Noah mutters above Kurt. “So beautiful.”

Finn starts babbling underneath Kurt, a stream of “I love you” and “fuck” and “mine, mine.” Finn’s legs wrap around Kurt and Noah both, his hands stroking their arms. Kurt keeps the same slow, steady pace, matching Noah’s thrusts into him, but shifts slightly, going deeper into Finn and tightening his hand just a little. Finn’s words vanish into a string of incoherent cries and syllables, his hips lifting off the bed so he can take Kurt in deeper. 

“Ohh, my darling, darling,” Kurt says, increasing his speed as Noah does. “Come for me, Finn, come all over me.” Finn’s hand wraps around the back of Kurt’s neck again, and Finn bucks up, crying out, coming all over himself and Kurt. “Yes, fuck,” Kurt groans, tilting his hips towards Noah. “Baby, please.”

“I’ve got you,” Noah pants, and changes his angle just slightly before Kurt comes, feeling Noah filling him as well. They collapse onto Finn without another word, breathing heavily, Finn’s arms engulfing them.

“I’m warm,” Kurt laughs after a few moments pass. “Good job!”

Noah chuckles. “I would hope so.”

“Keeping you warm is a full-time job,” Finn says, grabbing a blanket with his foot and pulling it up enough for him to grab it and cover the three of them. 

“Good night, my loves,” Kurt says, closing his eyes again. “Love you so much.”

“Love you two, too,” Noah answers, his breathing already slowing. 

“Love you both,” Finn murmurs. “Sleep now.”

 

They let Kurt sleep in the next morning. Noah and Eliza are on Eliza’s tablet, looking up something about tadpoles – taking care of them, maybe. Finn is in the middle of fixing breakfast for the Peas when his phone dings to indicate a text. He frowns when he sees it’s from Audrey.

_Mom says we aren’t seeing you! What’s going on!!!!!_

“Text from Aud,” Finn tells Noah. 

“What’d they tell her?” Noah asks after a few seconds. 

“Sounds like not much. She asked what’s going on.” Finn glances at Eliza. “Hey, Eliza? Can you go down to the Peas’ room and check under the beds for spoons again? We’re down to three.”

“Okay,” Eliza agrees, setting her tablet down. “We can finish after school, Papa.” Eliza scurries to the stairs, and Noah turns towards Finn. 

“What’s that K says? We have a chance to frame the narrative or whatever?” Noah says, standing up and walking over to Finn. 

“Yeah, something like that,” Finn says. He shows the text to Noah. “Should we wait for Kurt and his narrative–framing?”

Noah frowns as he reads it and then shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, he knows exactly what he said to Burt, but we know why.” 

“I don’t want Aud to do anything to get herself in trouble,” Finn says. “Mom may not be thinking about it now, but she’s bound to think about texting eventually.”

“Then if we’re texting her before Carole thinks about it, Audrey should be fine.” Noah grins suddenly. “And once she’s back in Lima, I know of someone who is allowed as much contact with us as she wants.”

“Yeah,” Finn says. He quickly types back _Mom not happy with us right now, not much we can do about it_. “Once Kurt’s up, we’ll ask if he has any other suggestions.”

“About what?” Kurt asks, stepping out of the stairs and rubbing his eyes once. 

“Audrey texted me,” Finn explains, handing the phone to Kurt. “Anything else you can think of to say?”

Kurt frowns. “I’m sure she knows it has nothing to do with her, at least on our end. Frankly, at this point I don’t have a problem telling her exactly why Carole’s so unhappy.” 

“You should text it, then,” Finn says, motioning at his phone. 

“I’d better warn her to delete it after reading,” Kurt admits, picking up Finn’s phone and starting to tap out a message. “Okay. _The three of us are apparently perverse and may somehow place you in danger if you are alone with us. Combined with veiled threats, I decided to cut off contact with Dad and your mom. Not you._ and then I added a ‘K’, and a note about deleting the text once she’s read it,” Kurt says. “Send it?”

Finn nods. “It’s true and it’s fair,” he says. “Even if they found it, they can’t say it’s not true.”

“Dad never could explain why he thought we had suddenly become dangerous,” Kurt says thoughtfully, sending the message, and Noah takes the phone from him. 

“I’m telling her to send us messages through Beth once she’s back home,” Noah says. “In case Carole figures out the texting loophole sooner instead of later.”

“That’s all we can do,” Finn sighs. “Either they come around or they don’t, but you were right to cut off contact. I spent too long pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not doing it again, not for them or anybody.”

“No, and you shouldn’t,” Kurt agrees, then heaves a sigh of his own. “We have to keep the kids safe, and they can’t even wrap their heads around the fact that the kids are all of ours. And I don’t particularly enjoy the insinuations, either.” 

Noah sets the phone on the counter and then laughs shortly. “The most watched phone in Manhattan this morning.”

 _This is all stupid & unfair_, Audrey texts back after a minute or two. _I’ll send messages through Beth. Don’t text back. Mom will be out of bathroom soon. I LOVE YOU!_

“Well, there you go,” Finn says. “We’ve done all we can do.”

“All we’re doing is living our life. They’re the ones who don’t like it,” Kurt says, sighing again and going towards the coffee. “We can’t make them like it, either, but we’re not going to change anything.”


	3. Big Reveal(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old acquaintances and a new show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to click on any links that appear as you read.

Kurt is sure of many things, and one of the things he's sure of is that taking everyone to the Park for one of Noah's football games is going to be an adventure. 

For several years, Noah had played only intermittently, and Kurt knows that his team probably thinks Noah's still not the most reliable member, but the spring season is more laid back. All six of them head to the Park, the day actually warm, and as they find a place to sit, Kurt laughs to himself. 

"Oh god, they think we're old," Kurt mutters under his breath. They aren't old, but Kurt can admit privately at least that they aren't as young as the barely-drinking age guys that seem to make up at least half of each team. _They_ probably didn't have to increase their workout time each day for six weeks just to get rid of what Kurt would like to think of as winter insulation. 

"What, blue eyes?" Noah asks. 

"Just that you need to prove that people over thirty aren't decrepit," Kurt says wryly, and Noah laughs as he goes over to the rest of his team. Kurt can't quite make out what they're saying, but Noah comes back after just a few minutes though, smirking at Finn, and the rest of the team is trailing behind him. 

"Okay, darling, here's your chance to be part of a fantastic prank. We're down a guy. Can't play without enough on the field." Noah's smirk grows wider. "Nothing in the rules says you have to have always been amateur."

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Finn says, grinning as he stands up. He pulls his T-shirt over his head and hands it to Kurt.

“Watch the shoulder, darling,” Kurt says, raising an eyebrow and trying hard not to look too smug. Finn may not have quite the same definition as when he was playing for the Bears, but he still looks muscular, and the combination of muscles, pierced nipple, and tattoo seems to be enough to invite a bit of gawking from some of Noah’s team as well as the other team. 

“I always watch the shoulder, bossofme,” Finn assures Kurt before following Noah back to the rest of the team.

One of them hands Finn a team T-shirt, and Kurt laughs to himself at the disappointed sigh he hears. There’s a bit of conversation between Finn and the rest of Noah’s team, and then one of the opposing team’s members suddenly speaks up. 

“Hey! Who’s your new guy?” he asks, sounding slightly suspicious. 

“Just a fill-in for today,” Noah calls back. 

“Uh-huh.” The guy looks close to their age. “Then why do you look so familiar, dude? Who are you?”

“I’m a child psychologist,” Finn says. “Maybe you know one of my clients.”

“No. No kids.” He narrows his eyes at Finn. “Wait, was that a bluebird tattoo?”

Finn turns his and looks at the back of his now-covered shoulder. “Might have been, I guess.”

“Guys!” He turns to his team, seemingly half-triumphant and half-disgruntled. “That guy played professionally!”

Kurt can’t help but laugh at the somewhat–outraged expressions on their faces, though some of them are apparently doubtful. “Nah,” one of them says. “Couldn’t’ve.”

“Aww, they’re conflicted about you,” Noah says to Finn, loud enough for the other team to hear. “Causing soooo much conflict, Bluebird.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess it _was_ a bluebird,” Finn says, also loudly. “Well, there ya go.”

“You can’t bring in some kind of ringer!”

“Am I against the rules?” Finn asks. He leans close to Noah and appears to whisper something that makes Noah laugh loudly before he responds. 

“No rules about having to have always been amateur,” Noah says. “So can we get to playing now?”

“I’m going to look it up,” the guy on the other team grumbles, but he finally nods. “Fine. Let’s play.” 

“Luckily, this isn’t a place the gossip columnists hang out,” Kurt can overhear Noah say to Finn. Finn laughs in response, and they line up to begin the game finally. 

 

Finn knows Noah and Kurt are working on something new, and have been for a while, because they’ve been spending more and more time down in the studio. Whatever it is, though, Finn has no clue, since the two of them seem to think they’re being really sneaky about it. He’s seen Zachary and Tori leaving the studio at least twice, and Jamie a few times, too, though Jamie typically stays for dinner after, partially because Charlie loves him and screams when he leaves. 

By the beginning of August, Finn’s having a hard time playing along and pretending he doesn’t know they’re working on something. The first Tuesday in August, Eliza has a summer camp program at the museum, and Safiya takes the Peas to their music class. Kurt and Noah slide up on either side of Finn and start steering him down the stairs, towards the studio. 

Once they’re downstairs, Kurt prods Finn into a chair and then they fuss with a few things before coming over to him. “We have something for you,” Kurt begins. “It’s not exclusively yours to hear, in the end, but it’s for you, so you’re the first.” Kurt hands him a binder full of printed pages, and Noah hands him a remote. 

“It’s marked in there when you should pause and when to hit play again,” Noah says. 

Finn opens the binder and looks at the title page. “ _Trois_? That means three, right?”

“Yes, in French,” Kurt answers, nodding. 

“And this is for me?” Finn asks. “You wrote me a musical?”

“Well… yeah.” Noah shrugs. “Unless you hate it. Then no.”

Finn nods and turns the page. The second page only has a short dedication on it: “For our darling, who’s always good.”

“You guys,” Finn says softly.

“We can stay in here or go wait,” Kurt says. “Whichever.”

“You should stay,” Finn says. He turns the page again and presses play where indicated. The music starts, soft and a little slow as it gradually speeds up and one by one different voices come in. It sounds almost like two different songs coming together in a mashup. By the time the song is over and Finn has read part of the first block of dialogue, the story is starting to come together: a girl, a gay couple, and a city in Belgium in the 1920s. 

The gay couple is British, and sings a duet together, but the French girl sings a solo, even though she’s apparently in Belgium with her fiancé. Finn alternately plays and pauses the music, reading through the two couples meeting when they share a boat on a canal, because they’re going the same direction. The story gets a little more interesting when the woman and the gay men strike up a friendship that turns into a mutual attraction, and by the end of the first act, the woman's fiancé is headed back to France without her.

“This is really good,” Finn says, pausing the music again. 

“You like it? It’s not quite avant garde, but it’s not typical fare,” Kurt says. 

“It gets porny in the second act, doesn’t it?” Finn asks, grinning at Kurt and Noah.

“Really?” Noah pretends to act offended. “It’s not porny. It’s, uh. Tastefully explicit.”

“Like those pictures you like to take?” Finn offers.

“Those could be in an exhibit at the right gallery, you know,” Noah says, still pretending to be offended. 

“An underground one, maybe,” Kurt says thoughtfully. “One of the ones with exposed beams and low lighting.”

“We should get some more prints to hang up upstairs,” Finn says. 

“Yeah, we should,” Noah agrees. “But… you do like it?”

“I do, I really love it,” Finn says. “And you really wrote it for me?”

“Yeah, we did. _And_ it has a happy ending.”

“You’re giving away the end,” Kurt says with a laugh. 

“It’s a valid concern!”

“A tastefully explicit happy ending, huh?” Finn asks. “Shhh. I’ve gotta finish reading and listening to this!”

 

By November, they have a theatre—Studio 54, and Noah can almost see how it was a nightclub—and a cast in rehearsal. It’s fun working with V2, and even having Jesse St. James on the cast has been strangely enjoyable. Enjoyable, except when his girlfriend shows up, because somehow, after Rachel failed to convince Zachary to come back to her, she ran into Jesse and started things up with him. 

She doesn’t attempt to hang around the theatre, but near the end of rehearsals, she shows up sometimes, trying to make dinner plans with Jesse or following through on apparently previously made plans, and the day of Eliza’s class play is one of those days. 

“Finally decided to show up?” Yves, one of their set designers this time around, asks jokingly. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Noah grins. “Our oldest had her class play this afternoon.” 

Noah doesn’t even realize Rachel’s there until she steps out from behind Jesse and some of the others. “ _Your_ oldest?” she says, lips pursed slightly. 

“Hmm.” Noah regards her for a moment, then smiles slowly. “Okay, Rachel. Name a specific event or a general time frame, anytime between the day Finn broke up with you, senior year, and the day he left you for good. Name several of them, even.”

“Why?” Rachel asks suspiciously. 

“Humor me,” Noah replies. “Really, it’ll answer your implied question.”

“Fine,” Rachel sighs. “Prom, Finn’s second Rose Bowl, and Thanksgiving of… ’22. Is that enough dates?”

“Okay, so, senior prom… yeah, that night was just kisses. We’d all had a few beers. Later that week though, mmmhmm. Funny thing about the Rose Bowl trips, they don’t make the players check in from their room, they just need to observe a curfew. It was too bad how messy we got his Rose Bowl T-shirt, though. Guess we should have made him take it off first. And Thanksgiving’s always had a lot of visiting relatives, but two days before Thanksgiving, on that Tuesday? You never wondered why Finn _always_ spent that day with us?”

“You’re lying,” Rachel says, almost automatically. “You keep saying ‘we’ and ‘us’. Are you still trying to pretend like you don’t know about Finn and Kurt, or— _Noah_ , were you cheating with Finn, too? Behind _Kurt’s_ back?”

Noah doesn’t respond for a moment, shooting a look at V2, who is laughing so hard that she’s trying to lean on the set. “Cheating’s such an… inaccurate word,” Noah finally says. “Like Dan Savage said a long time ago, it’s not really cheating if you’re each at one end.”

Rachel’s face can’t seem to decide whether to blush or pale, so the result is a strange, blotchy mix of the two as Rachel gapes. “ _Noah_!”

“Too candid for you?” Noah says wryly. “How about ‘triad’, do you know that word? Or we could discuss more dates.”

“When Finn was in Chicago?” Rachel asks.

“Chicago _sucked_ ,” Noah says, shaking his head. “But why do you think the Bears wanted him to propose in the middle of a game and all of that? We weren’t exactly discreet when we went out.”

“This— _this_ is why!” Rachel exclaims, balling up her fists. “This is why you asked me to pretend to date him, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Noah shrugs. “The online gossip was pretty vicious, and he wasn’t in a position to do anything publicly. Wasn’t supposed to go on as long as it did, but then there was the draft.” 

“The whole time? This was going on the whole time?” Rachel’s voice keeps rising, but she seems more like she’s angry about being left out of the loop than devastated that her sham of a marriage was even more of a sham than she realized. “Noah, is Finn _gay_ and lying about it?”

“The whole time? Pretty much, yeah.” Noah nods a little. “And it’s not really my place to make any kind of pronouncement about someone else’s sexuality, but like I said, either end.”

“You all lied to me. You helped my husband _cheat_ on me!” Rachel yells at Noah. 

“The husband you weren’t even going to marry for real?” Noah asks. “The one that you tricked into marrying you, and that you tricked into staying?” Noah shakes his head. “Really, if there was any cheating going on, well…” He trails off and shrugs. “Glass houses, Rachel Berry.” 

“Noah Hummel!” Rachel shrieks. “I can’t believe you would _steal_ my _husband_ into your… your… _gay threesome_!”

“It’s called a polyfidelitous triad,” Noah says calmly. “And you’re the one that blackmailed him into getting married under what I’m just going to call suspicious circumstances.” He turns to Jesse semi-seriously. “Careful, dude.”

“I really don’t have an opinion about this,” Jesse says quickly.

“Fair enough.” Noah shrugs and looks back at Rachel. “Anything else?”

“I just can’t bel—”

“Do you need _pictures_?” Noah asks her. 

“Noah!” Rachel gasps. “This is low. I expected it from Kurt, but you? I was on your side! I thought Kurt was cheating on you with Finn, and I even tried to let you know so you could put a stop to it!”

Noah laughs. “Which wasn’t actually a concern of mine.”

“You, you _betrayed_ me!” Rachel practically wails.

“No. You decided you wanted out of the deal, and instead of talking to _any_ of us, you were deceitful instead. Was it fair?” Noah shrugs. “You knew what the deal was. We didn’t lie about that.” He looks at Jesse again. “You want to take her out of here?” he asks, lowering his voice somewhat. 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Jesse says. “Rachel, my love, we have dinner reservations at Golddust, and you know reservations are so hard to get.”

“But he—” Rachel begins, then cuts herself off abruptly. She points at Noah. “If you think this is the end of this, you’re wrong. I won’t let this go. I will find a way to— well, I’ll find a way!”

Noah rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Okay. Us pretties’ll be sitting around waiting. But we don’t have a dog, so don’t worry about getting our little dog, too.” 

Rachel lets out one more melodramatic shriek as Jesse gently drags her away from Noah and towards the exit, giving Noah an apologetic nod over his shoulder. Noah turns back to the others and shrugs slightly. 

“So, did we miss anything exciting today?” he asks wryly, and V2, who had finally calmed down, starts laughing hysterically again. 

 

The first week of January isn’t when Kurt would necessarily have chosen for premiering a musical, mainly due to the weather, but somehow for _Trois_ , it seems to work. [Once the subject matter was understood by the media](https://docs.google.com/document/d/177y2EwzqzVTe-M1xx9KDrY0Fy8lQZ7Byic6zIENkmiQ/pub), and once Kurt let on that some of their source material was _Jules et Jim_ , the buzz had only increased. Kurt would prefer if some of it wasn’t riddled with phrases like ‘potentially scandalous’ and ‘disreputable or reputation maker’, but it has meant that the first weeks are sold out, and the following months doing better than expected. 

“Did it really have to snow today?” Kurt asks as they get dressed, and he pauses by the window to watch the flakes keep coming down. Finn comes up behind him and pinches his ass.

“I’ll warm you up after the show,” Finn promises. 

“Not during?” Noah says. “Press’d love that.” 

“They aren’t allowed to use any recording devices in the theatre,” Kurt points outs, “so it’d just be hearsay.”

“Well, it is _my_ musical,” Finn says. “I think that totally means I can warm you up during.”

“You’re very, very tempting, darling,” Kurt says, turning away from the window. “How long until the car’s going to be here?” 

“Less than ten, so the answer’s no, we don’t have enough time,” Noah says, grinning. “You two need some tie help now?” Finn doesn’t say anything, but holds out his tie. Noah takes it and ties it quickly, leaning in for a kiss. “Don’t forget, according to that one story, you’re illicit.”

“No, no, he’s not illicit, he’s just our illicit lover,” Kurt corrects, stepping forward and handing Noah his tie. “I considered sending in a complaint that they should at least describe him more accurately. ‘Excellent’, perhaps.” 

“I am pretty excellent,” Finn says.

“We could come up with a list, perhaps,” Kurt says thoughtfully, breaking off as Noah finishes and the two of them kiss. “Acceptable descriptions for each of us.” He takes their hands in his and heads towards the stairs. “And, of course, the words we don’t want used.” 

“I don’t want the word ‘sultry’. I don’t know why, but that word bugs me,” Finn says.

“It always makes me think of lace,” Noah admits. “Lace and fishnets.”

“I don’t think any of us need lace or fishnets,” Kurt agrees. 

“Definitely not my thing,” Finn says.

“For which we’re thankful,” Noah says dryly as the three of them climb into the car. Since Kurt isn’t performing in _Trois_ , the premiere night is slightly different for him than with _Milk_ ; they also don’t have any living people who were part of an original story attending. They do have more press than Kurt had anticipated, which means that he spends most of the time before the show talking to one critic or another. 

As everyone starts to go in, Kurt is snagged by another member of the media, who asks a few relatively benign questions. Kurt tries to excuse himself, and the reporter holds up a finger. 

“Just one more question. There’s a lot of rumors swirling that perhaps you and your husband had, shall we say, _personal_ inspiration for this story. No one’s asked you directly, though: are you and your husband engaged in a triad of your own, with Finn Hudson?”

Kurt shakes his head slowly. “If I say yes, you’ll say I’m lying to generate more publicity. If I say no, you’ll say I’m lying to cover up a scandal. So why should I answer you at all?” He smiles once at the reporter and slips away, finding his seat between Finn and Noah just before the lights dim. 

“Someone actually asked me,” Kurt whispers. Noah turns towards them in the dim light and raises an eyebrow.

“About us?” Finn whispers back.

“Mmmhmm.” Kurt nods. “I more or less said it wasn’t any of his business.” 

“’Cause it’s not,” Noah whispers, snorting once. 

“We could give them some questionable-looking photo ops at intermission,” Finn suggests. 

Kurt suppresses a laugh. “We’re so naughty.” He falls silent as the show actually begins, and when the first act comes to a close, he stands up and turns in place, offering a hand each to Noah and Finn. “What kind of ‘questionable’ did you have in mind?” 

“Probably not finding a dark corner in a club kind of questionable, blue eyes.”

“Let’s sneak backstage, and I’ll show you,” Finn says.

“I can see the captions now,” Kurt says, following Noah out of the row. “‘Hummels seen going backstage with Dr. Hudson during intermission, but none of the cast report seeing them.’ Yes?” 

Noah laughs and opens up one of the doors. “Oh, I think Finn’s hand on you and mine on Finn, right about now. Really nice shot.”

 

Of course, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for why Finn’s wearing a Zorro mask while Noah and Kurt are being photographed and interviewed for _Out_ , but since that explanation is “because Kurt and Noah thought it was sexy,” Finn doesn’t volunteer it during the interview. In fact, he just sits there, masked and silent and kind of amused, throughout the whole interview, watching.

“And you are Finn Hudson?” the interviewer asks on the eighth or ninth question. Finn just grins at him, wide and toothy, which makes the photographer start to laugh for some reason. 

Kurt clears his throat, raising his eyebrows at the interviewer. “I don’t believe you need to inquire as to the people in our home.”

“Oh, of course,” the interviewer says, looking somewhat disappointed. “Now, do the two of you see yourselves as activist artists?”

Noah and Kurt exchange a glance, and Noah shakes his head slowly. “No,” Noah says. “We’re just telling the stories we want to tell.” 

“But both of your musicals have dealt with queer themes?”

“Actually, our first musical, _Small Town_ , didn’t really,” Kurt corrects. “And dealing with queer themes, as you put it, doesn’t necessarily mean we’re trying to be activists through our art.” 

“I see.” The interviewer nods, then turns off the recorder. “Well, are we ready for photographs now?”

“Why not?” Noah agrees. 

“If you’ll just step over here,” the photographer directs. “We’ll have Patti touch up your makeup, and then we’ll start by the piano.”

Kurt smirks a little. “Zorro, too.”

Again, the photographer stifles a laugh. “If you prefer.”

Patti the makeup girl dabs some powder on their noses and chins, being careful to avoid Finn’s Zorro mask, then the photographer and her assistant arrange all of them around the upright piano, with Noah and Kurt posed on the bench and Finn leaning back against the piano behind them, like he’s part of the set.

“Zorro, lean back a little more,” the photographer directs, so Finn leans back more. She snaps some shots, then rearranges them all, then snaps a few more. “Let’s go over by that wall now. Zorro, undo about half of your buttons, will you?”

Finn undoes the first several buttons on his shirt, then looks up at the photographer for approval. She nods, leaning over to whisper something to her assistant. The assistant approaches Finn and just sort of poses him in the background, moving Kurt and Noah forward for another relatively formal-looking series of shots. 

“You want to undo that belt as well?” the photographer asks. 

Finn starts laughing. “An interesting aesthetic,” Kurt mutters, giving the photographer a look. 

Finn does indeed unbuckle his belt, and goes ahead and unbuttons his shirt the rest of the way for good measure. The photographer gives him the thumbs up, then shuffles them all to yet another part of the studio, this time in front of a black drop cloth. Once again, she and her assistant arrange Noah and Kurt into flattering, but formal, poses. Finn, on the other hand, gets contorted into some weird sort of swashbuckling position.

“Not sure how long I can hold this,” Finn confesses to the photographer in an undertone.

“Because of the shoulder?” she asks, and when Finn nods, she continues, “I remember you from the bear skin.”

Suddenly, Finn can place her face: the assistant to the photographer from his _Out_ photoshoot. He gives her a solemn nod. “You were right. My fiancée should have been more unhappy about the pictures than about the bearskin.”

The photographer barks a short laugh, then turns her back to Finn, shoulders still shaking with silent laughter as she walks back to her camera. The swashbuckler-in-the-background shots go mercifully quickly, then the photographer arranges Kurt and Noah on stools in front of the back drop, then has Finn stand behind them. After a moment, though, she frowns and shakes her head, and has another low-back chair pulled over, so Finn is sitting slightly lower than them, but still behind them.

“Why don’t you just take the shirt off completely?” Noah says over his shoulder. 

Finn shrugs. “Sounds good to me.”

The photograph says, “That’s great.” She waits for Finn to remove his shirt, then takes a few more pictures. “You comfortable back there, Zorro? Need me to bring in the bearskin to make you a little more at home?”

Finn busts out laughing, and the photographer snaps a few more pictures. 

“Okay,” she says. “I’m pretty sure we’ve got it. Mr. Hummel, Mr. Hummel, it’s been a pleasure. Zorro…”

“We’ll have to put the bearskin on the calendar,” Finn says. “You can call my office and my assistant will set it up.”

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” the photographer says. 

“Do you really need more bearskin pictures?” Kurt asks Finn. 

“I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be for _him_ ,” the photographer says, as she and her assistant pack up her gear. 

The interviewer looks back at Kurt, Noah, and Finn curiously, and Kurt moves towards him with a tight smile. “Here, let us show you out.” Kurt leads the interviewer towards the door, Noah following. 

“I think that went well,” Finn says.

 

“We almost made it through the winter, Peas,” Noah says to Harvey and Charlie as they reach the pediatricians’ office. “But not quite.” 

“Sick,” Harvey agrees. “Peas are sick, Papa.”

“Peas frowed up in da bed, Papa,” Charlie adds pitifully. “In da bed, on da floor, on da potty.”

“I know, Char,” Noah says, shifting their bodies a little in an attempt to redistribute their weight. “Here, you two sit down while I sign in.” 

“Charlie threw up on the train,” Harvey says as he settles into a chair. 

“Harbey frowed up in da tapsi,” Charlie adds. She leans her head on Harvey’s shoulder and closes her eyes. 

Noah shakes his head and goes up to the desk to sign them in. While he’s signing in, the nurse looks at the paper and smiles at him. “In case you didn’t see online, Dr. Shanti’s still on maternity leave, so they’ll be seeing one of our newer doctors, Dr. Rutherford.”

“Oh, sure, yeah,” Noah says, nodding, even though he doesn’t remember noticing anything when he made the appointment. He sits down beside Harvey, pulling both of them into his lap. “Just a few minutes, Peas.” 

“Papa,” Charlie says, resting her head against his chest. “Harbey is sick.”

“I know, Char. The doctor’s going to make you and Harv both feel better, okay?”

“Medicine?” Harvey says. “Yucky medicine.”

“Want da _blue_ kind,” Charlie adds.

“Charlotte and Harvey Hummel?” a nurse calls out. “I’m sorry. Charlotte Hudson and Harvey Hummel?”

“Close enough, right?” Noah mutters, standing up while still holding both of them. He heads towards the nurse with a nod and follows her to a room. Instead of sitting them on the table and sitting in the chair beside it, Noah sits in the middle of the table, Harvey on one side and Charlie on the other, leaning against him. 

The door opens a few minutes later, and a handsome black man in his thirties wearing a white coat enters the room. “Mr. Hummel? I’m Dr. Rutherford. So, I hear these little guys are not feeling so hot!”

“Harbey frowed up on my blanket,” Charlie says somberly.

“Yeah, throwing up and a fever for both of them,” Noah says. “Harv, Char, can you say hi?”

Harvey looks at the doctor and nods twice. “Hi.”

“Hi. You _not_ Dr. Shanti,” Charlie says.

“That’s true,” Dr. Rutherford agrees. “Dr. Shanti has a new baby, so I’m helping out around here. I’m Dr. Matt. Have you and your brother been able to eat or drink anything today, Miss Char?”

“I ated a cracker,” Charlie says. “I frowed up in the tapsi.”

“They both kept down a little bit of pop, but that’s it,” Noah says. 

Dr. Rutherford chuckles. “Man, I haven’t heard anyone call it ‘pop’ for years!”

“Yeah, well, most of the Ohio’s out, but not all of it,” Noah says wryly. 

“I hear you,” Dr. Rutherford says, shaking his head. “I lived in Ohio until I was sixteen, and I still call it pop.”

“What part?” Noah asks, then stares at him for a moment. “Wait, Matt Rutherford. Matt Rutherford?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Dr. Rutherford agrees. 

“Lima, by any chance?” Noah asks. “McKinley High?”

Dr. Rutherford looks startled. “I went there through the end of sophomore year,” he says. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Noah starts to laugh. “Look at those last names on those charts again.”

“Hudson and Hummel,” Dr. Rutherford—Matt—says. “Hudson and… I’ll be da— darned.” He narrows his eyes at Noah. “Puckerman? Noah Puckerman?”

“It’s the hair,” Noah says, shrugging. “I’m the least recognizable. But yeah, that’s me. Or was.” He waves his hand dismissively. “What a funny coincidence, though, man. Did you stay in touch with anybody?”

“Nah, mostly a clean slate when I moved out to Oakland,” Matt says. “Wow, this is crazy! And you’ve got a Hudson _and_ a Hummel here, but they’re listed as siblings. Wouldn’t normally pry into my patients’ home lives beyond the medical necessities, but you’ve got to explain at least a little.”

Noah laughs. “Yeah, yeah. All three of us—me, Finn, and Kurt—are together. Their big sister kind of remembers when we weren’t all living in the same place, but these two don’t. And there’ll be another one in September. Probably another girl, ’cause Kurt’s the only one of us that can throw a Y. Oh, hey, and Mike and Tina are here in New York, too. You should come over for dinner one night, catch up.” 

“Wow, yeah. Wow! That is… a _lot_ to process!” Matt says, looking both stunned and happy. “I should definitely do that. We can get the whole gang back together, as long as we don’t invite… what was her name, again? The loud one.”

“Oh, trust me, _that_ one isn’t invited to the house,” Noah says, laughing. “But hey, what about you? You got somebody? Kids?”

“I’ve been married for a few years now,” Matt says. “I actually moved here for my wife’s job. Carina is chief oncologist at Lenox Hill. No kids, probably not going to have any. She’s a little older than me, and we both have pretty demanding schedules. She’s great, though. Smart, gorgeous, and let me tell you what, you still aren’t going to find a lot of black women in oncology, if that tells you anything about how good she is at what she does.”

“Tells me you married up,” Noah jokes. “No, seriously, bring her to dinner, we’d love to meet her.”

“Yeah, sounds like both of us married up,” Matt points out. “And we will. Let me get these two cuties taken care of, and we’ll swap some contact information. I’ll hook you up with an anti-emetic for both of them so you can get some food into them… and we’ll make sure we plan that dinner at least seventy-two hours out.”


	4. November June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday, September 7, 2027, at 1:14 pm, eight pounds four ounces and twenty-one inches

Noah couldn’t keep track of Hannah’s work schedule when she still was living with him and Kurt, so he’s unsurprised that he’s clueless about it now, with her in the Bronx. It does mean that the days she shows up for dinner because she had only worked the lunch shift are something of a surprise. Not unusual, just not anything Noah exactly predicts ahead of time. 

Sometimes Hannah brings Stevie, and sometimes she doesn’t, but she always avoids Tuesdays, and generally stays after the kids are in bed, so it’s still not anything unusual, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, when she accepts Kurt’s offer of a glass of wine and the four of them sit in the living room. 

“Yes, this is very scandalous and improper,” Hannah says after a few minutes. “Poor life choices and all of that.”

“We try our hardest,” Finn says. “We might have to put a sex sling or something in the living room, though.”

“Peas’d just use it as a catapult,” Noah points out. “We’d have to put padding on the windows.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Finn concedes. 

“Maybe just some old-fashioned exhibitionism,” Kurt says, grinning, and Hannah shakes her head. 

“Now you’re giving me flashbacks to high school,” she complains, then takes another drink of her wine. 

“Poor Hannah,” Noah says with a laugh. “Poor, poor Hannah.”

“Shut up.” Hannah sticks her tongue out at Noah briefly. “But I have a thought for the three of you to consider.”

“Uh-oh,” Finn says.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with any more pets,” Hannah assures Finn. 

“Oh, that’s quite an opening,” Kurt says, laughing for a moment. 

“Gives me some leeway,” Hannah says with a bright smile. “I’d let the three of you work out the precise details, of course, but the Peas are getting older, and well. Do you want to have another baby?”

Noah stares at Hannah for a moment, absently thinking that it’s probably good none of them were in the midst of taking a sip when she said that. He starts to ask if she’s sure, then shakes his head and remains silent, because Hannah’s a lot of things, and bringing up something when she’s uncertain isn’t one of them. 

“Yeah!” Finn blurts out, then looks at Noah and Kurt. “Or, I mean, _I’d_ be cool with it, at least.”

Kurt laughs gently. “Just ‘cool with it’?”

“If you guys don’t want another one, I don’t either,” Finn says. “But if you do, even a little bit?”

“I’m totally surprised by that answer,” Noah says with a grin. 

“As I said, I’ll leave the three of you to figure out the details of who and legalities and all of that,” Hannah says, finishing her wine and setting the glass down. “Just let me know what you decide. As far as timing?” She shrugs a little. “As soon as next month, but again, let me know.” 

“It doesn’t matter for work?” Kurt asks her.

Hannah shakes her head. “No, not particularly. There’s not really an off season.” 

“Well, we’ll definitely discuss it,” Noah says wryly, glancing over at Finn, who is whispering ‘babies!’ under his breath and looking excited. “Probably tonight or tomorrow.”

“In that case, I’ll find my way back up to the Bronx. Thank you for dinner.” Hannah stands up and heads towards the foyer. “I’ll send you that shopping list for Thanksgiving by the end of the week, Noah.”

“My favorite grocery trip of the year.”

“See you soon, pumpkin-butt!” Finn calls out.

Hannah laughs. “Sure thing, lizard-knees!”

“Only one lizard in this house, and I’m not him,” Finn retorts, as Hannah heads out the door with a wave. 

“It’s true. I’m the only one,” Kurt confirms. “The only one, who has noticed that it’s colder outside than it was two weeks ago.”

“Then I guess we’d better move this upstairs. Hot air rises and all of that,” Noah says. “Oh, and we could help keep you warm.”

“And talk about babies!” Finn adds.

Noah laughs and nods. “And talk about babies. Or baby, singular.”

 

Kurt props his head on Finn’s shoulder and wraps one arm loosely around Noah’s upper arm as Noah pulls the duvet up higher. “Now that we’re properly warm,” Kurt says, “we can discuss this. Though I think I’m with Noah: baby, singular.”

“I’d be ok with twins,” Finn says. 

“Of course you would,” Noah says, grinning at him. “But I think the Peas were close enough to twins, in terms of experiencing life with twins, if that’s on your bucket list or something.” 

“ _Is_ that something people put on a bucket list?” Kurt asks. “Darling?”

“I’m just saying I wouldn’t give one back if she had twins, is all,” Finn says. 

“Well, no, I don’t think we’d give one back,” Noah agrees. “So… I mean, we never really talked about the number of bedrooms downstairs.”

“No.” Kurt nods a little. “I didn’t expect her to offer again. But it _would_ be nice.” 

“Well, I’m out for biological contribution,” Noah says. “You two got a preference?”

“Oh god, the _cup_ ,” Kurt says with a shudder.

“You did have a hard time with the cup,” Finn agrees.

“It was traumatizing!” Kurt argues. “Not to mention the pressure.” 

“I say if it’s Finn, we know it’ll be a girl,” Noah says. 

Finn laughs, absently running his hand over Kurt’s stomach. “Probably, but that’s ok. I love our girls!”

“Oh, I didn’t say it’d be a bad thing, just predictable.” 

“I think I’d enjoy the entire process much more if it didn’t start with me and the cup, round three,” Kurt admits. 

“I’m ok with a cup,” Finn says. “[You guys would help me out, right?](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YMhQk7DQEVZpws611Okyxv8tRvQmX5_WYvKcj_juPWg/pub)”

“That I can manage,” Kurt says, grinning. 

“Oh yeah, we can definitely help you out.” Noah laughs. “At least we don’t have to be right down the hall this time.” 

Finn keeps running his hand along Kurt’s stomach, but he doesn’t respond at first. After a few moments of silence, Finn says, “You guys should be listed as the parents, though, either way.”

“Legally, you mean?” Kurt asks, turning his neck to see Finn nod. “It’s not of huge importance to me, either way, but why?” 

“Well, that way, everybody’s equal, and we sort of all have fifty percent of the baby,” Finn explains. “I’d be fifty percent biologically, and you guys would each be fifty percent legally. Then if we ever figured out how to have all three of us be parents legally, it might be easier, too, since I’d already be related to her.”

“Her,” Kurt repeats softly. “Do you think she’ll look more like… hmm. She could look like any of the three of them, really.” 

“Yeah, she’d be related by blood to all of them,” Finn says, “which is kind of cool, too. I don’t think that Eliza or the Peas care if they’re blood relatives or not, but it would be cool. Like the missing link baby.”

“I think she’s got a pretty good chance at curls, though,” Noah says. “Lucky girl.”

“I think it’s safe to say we’ve decided, then,” Kurt says, trying not to laugh. “If we’re discussing her hair.”

“Yeah,” Finn says. “I guess we have.”

Noah props himself up on one arm and grins at them. “Hey, guys? We’re having a baby.”

 

“Well, fuck,” Finn says, when the doorbell starts to ring and ring. “That’s bad timing.”

“God, keep going,” Kurt whines. “They can wait!”

Finn grins as he pushes Kurt’s leg higher and resumes thrusting into him. He grips Kurt’s ass a little tighter, muttering, “Come on, come on.” Kurt whines again, rocking towards Finn, and then comes with a relatively quiet moan. Finn keeps moving for another few thrusts before he comes, too. He gives Kurt’s ass a final squeeze before sliding off him and standing up, grabbing a pair of pajama pants.

“I’ll go see who’s at the door,” Finn says. 

“You’re a little messy,” Kurt murmurs, gesturing to Finn’s chest. “Might want to clean that up.” 

“Nah, this’ll get rid of ’em faster,” Finn says. “Can’t be anybody important, ’cause they all know not to bother us on Tuesdays.”

Kurt lets out a little laugh and nods, waving Finn towards the door. Finn hurries down the three flights of stairs and then to the door, opening it. “Yeah?” he asks the guy standing on the front stoop.

“Uh.” The guy looks down at the package he’s carrying. “I have a delivery for either a Kurt Hummel, a Noah Hummel, or a Finn Hudson?” he says, not meeting Finn’s eyes. 

“I’m one of those, so I’ll sign for it,” Finn says, taking the package and the tablet out of the guy’s hands and signing the tablet, which he hands back to the guy. “You have a great day!” 

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” The guy half-smiles and half-grimaces before going back down the stairs in a hurry. Finn shakes his head as he shuts the front door and carries the package back upstairs to the bedroom, where a still-damp Noah has joined Kurt on the bed.

“We’ve got a box!” Finn announces.

“You look like we’re filming porn in here,” Noah says, laughing. “Not that we don’t sometimes, but it’s not for distribution.”

“That’ll teach him not to ring our bell on a Tuesday,” Finn says.

“Well, let’s see what’s in the box, then,” Kurt says, sitting up a little bit. Finn sits down next to Kurt and hands him the box.

Kurt frowns at the tape and tugs at it for a moment until it rips free, and he tosses it onto the floor as he opens the flaps. “It appears to be… coffee.”

“Coffee?” Noah says, frowning a little. “What kind of coffee?”

“Many kinds.” Kurt starts pulling out bags of coffee, setting them on the bed, then frowns as he pulls out a box. “Here, baby, you open the box.”

“Okay.” Noah shrugs and lifts the lid, then unfolds a piece of paper. “‘Because you’re going to need it’.” He moves a piece of tissue paper in the box and then starts laughing. “That little sneak.”

“What?” Finn asks. “Is it from Hannah? What is it?”

Noah pulls something out of the box and tosses it towards Finn. “September.”

Finn looks down at the used pregnancy test with the little blue plus sign and ‘EDD: 9–15–27’ written on it in sharpie. “We did it!” Finn says. “She’s pregnant! We’re having a baby!” After a second he adds, “And she peed on this and I’m holding it.”

Kurt and Noah start laughing as Kurt puts the coffee back in the box and on the floor. “It seems like we should have something more celebratory than coffee, doesn’t it?” Kurt says. 

“I can go down and grab a bottle of champagne,” Finn offers. “But, uh. I’ll stop and wash my hands really good first.” He leans over and drops the pregnancy test back into its box.

“Champagne is good,” Noah agrees. “And now we wait.”

 

A Tuesday afternoon in the middle of May seems like as good of a time as any to bring up names, which is what Noah does as he rolls over towards Finn and Kurt. “You two do realize we haven’t discussed names at all.” 

"Well, obviously we're naming her Finn Junior," Finn says.

Kurt sighs and looks at Finn mournfully. “Not Kurtette?”

“Noelle?” Noah throws out, laughing. 

“Audrey Two, like in that musical Noah loves so much,” Finn counters.

“I am going to be haunted by Menken my entire life, aren’t I?” Noah says with a groan. 

“Alana.” Kurt smirks. 

“We should name her after all of us,” Finn suggests. “Do any of our names mashup or anything?”

Kurt makes a face. “I don’t think any of them are appropriate names for a child, Finn.” 

“No, I don’t think so,” Noah agrees. “We’d end up with something odd and hard to pronounce.”

“I’m going to think about it a little bit and get back to you, then,” Finn says. He closes his eyes, his fingers interlaced and resting on the center of his chest.

Noah and Kurt exchange a glance over Finn, and Noah shrugs. “Comfortable?” he asks. 

“Shh. Thinking,” Finn whispers.

Kurt presses his hand over his mouth, and Noah snorts once before falling silent. “I feel like Jeopardy,” Noah mouths at Kurt. A few minutes pass, and Noah starts to wonder if Finn’s fallen asleep. 

Apparently Kurt wonders that, too, because he clears his throat. “Finn? Are you awake?”

“Yep. Still thinking. It’s a process. Processes take time.”

“And this has been psychology 101 with Dr. Hudson,” Noah says solemnly. 

Another few minutes pass, then Finn opens his eyes. “I’ve got it.”

“So what is it?” Noah asks. 

“November June,” Finn pronounces carefully. 

“And then… March?” Kurt says, sounding puzzled. 

“No, that’s her name,” Finn says. “Because that way, she’s named after all three of us, plus, come on, _November_. That’s a great name.”

“November June,” Noah repeats thoughtfully. “It might be a little long for the Peas at first.” 

“Oh, I thought about that part, too. It was part of my process.”

“And…?” Kurt says, raising an eyebrow. “What was your conclusion?”

“Nova,” Finn says. “Though, I guess Charlie’ll call her ‘Noba’ for a while at least. I’m not sure she’s ever going to get her Vs.”

“Well, Harv doesn’t mind being Harbey, at least,” Noah points out. 

“Nova. That’s good,” Kurt agrees. 

“I’m a great namer,” Finn says. “We should keep that in mind in case we want a couple more kids later.”

“How many children exactly are you planning on, darling?” Kurt asks. 

“I hadn’t really put an upper limit on it,” Finn confesses. “I figured we’d feel done when we were done.”

“That might not be the best criteria to use,” Noah points out. “Maybe we’ll be done when we start to feel old.”

“Depending on the day, that might mean we’re already done,” Finn says. “I feel old on shoulder days.”

“Consistently feel old, then,” Noah amends. “Or two of us have more grey hair than not.”

“At least we all _have_ hair,” Finn says.

“We haven’t pulled it out yet,” Kurt says brightly. “That’s something, too.” 

“I think all the names go together really nicely, too,” Finn says. “Eliza, Harvey, Charlie, and Nova. It’s nice, right?”

“They do,” Kurt agrees. 

“She’ll hate us in kindergarten,” Noah says, laughing. “That’s going to be a long full name to write.”

“Just the first name, though,” Finn says. “That’s not so bad.”

“Last name, too.” 

“Hummel isn’t that long,” Finn argues. “And it’s got one of the letters twice.”

“Yeah, but when you put ’em both together, it’s kind of long,” Noah says. 

“But ‘Charlotte’ is as long as ‘November’. Nobody’s gonna make Charlie write out ‘Charlotte’, so probably Nova’ll be ok, too,” Finn insists.

“I think he meant both last names,” Kurt says. 

“Both la— ohhhh.” Finn looks elated. “Are we giving her both last names? I hadn’t even thought about that!”

“Just assumed we would,” Noah says. “I mean, why wouldn’t we?”

“Well, I just thought…” Finn shakes his head. “Doesn’t really matter what I thought, though! Yeah, poor Nova, that’s a really long name.”

“It sounds good, though,” Kurt says. “November June Hudson-Hummel.”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Should we even try to come up with a boy name?” Finn asks.

Noah snorts. “No.” 

 

After taking Eliza to her first day of third grade and the Peas to their first day of pre-kindergarten, the plan that Kurt, Finn, and Noah had had was to get a late breakfast at Alice’s and then spend the rest of Tuesday in bed. 

Instead, they’re not quite to Alice’s when Kurt hears Noah’s phone chirp, and he pulls it out while they wait for the green light. Noah reads it, then snorts. 

“Change of plans, guys.” 

“Is it baby time?” Finn asks, wide-eyed and excited.

“This time? Yes,” Noah says, chuckling. 

“Is she heading down here?” Kurt asks. 

“On the train, yeah.”

“Hardcore birther,” Finn notes.

“Something of a badass, anyway.” Noah shrugs as they turn back towards the house. “She says Valerie might beat her to the house.” 

“It went fast _last_ time,” Kurt says.

“She’d better not have the baby on the train and make me miss it,” Finn says. “We’ll have to have some words. Text her and tell her to keep it in.”

Noah laughs. “Yeah, I’ll let you two work that one out. At least she’s not making a cabbie angry with her water breaking in his freshly-vacuumed cab or anything.” 

“That’s _so_ New York,” Finn says. “Should one of us maybe go meet her at the subway station. Like, _me_ for example?”

“I don’t think she’s going to have the baby on the sidewalk,” Kurt says. “It’s possible, but highly unlikely.” 

“I’ll just go meet her,” Finn says.

Hannah does make it safely to the house and down to the guest bedroom without a precipitous birth, arriving just a few minutes ahead of Valerie and her assistants. 

“Well, here we are again,” Valerie says in between two contractions. 

“You need some more of your juice stuff, monkey-lips?” Finn asks Hannah.

“No, but I expect a steak after this,” Hannah retorts, almost sticking out her tongue at Finn. 

“We’ll find you surf ’n turf if you want,” Noah offers, and Kurt has the absurd image of a restaurant delivering not only the food but a table complete with linens. 

“I could get you one now,” Finn offers. “I’ll put it in the blender so it’ll go through your bendy straws.”

“You are the worst birth companion ever, elephant ears,” Hannah declares. 

“I’m just attending to your every need,” Finn replies, mock–defensively. “It’s because I love you sooooo much.”

“You know, darling,” Kurt says, “you could go re-inventory the baby portion of the birth kit.”

“It’s ’cause you’re giving us the _gift of life_ , Hannah,” Finn says as he walks over to the birth kit and starts sorting through things. “The gift of life.”

“Am I at a birth or a blood drive?” Noah wonders. 

“I don’t see why it can’t be both,” Finn says. “Look, there’s needles and little bag things right here in the birth stuff.” Hannah holds up her hand, and Finn immediately falls silent, watching Hannah closely from his position by the birth kit.

Hannah’s only there for two hours before she announces that she’s ready to push. Valerie and her assistants do whatever they need to do to prepare, and then Valerie turns to the three of them. “Did one of you want to catch?”

“Still no,” Noah answers quickly. 

“I do!” Finn exclaims. “I totally want to catch!”

“Everyone’s very surprised,” Kurt says, suppressing the urge to laugh as Finn walks towards the pool while pulling off his T-shirt. The three of them had had enough time to change into shorts and old T-shirts before everyone arrived. Valerie shows Finn where to kneel and how to hold his hands, while Hannah pushes through two contractions. 

During the next contraction, Finn looks up at Hannah’s face and says, in the most deadpan voice possible, “Hey, tree sloth, did you know you’ve got a baby coming out of your vagina?”

There’s a momentary pause before Hannah starts to laugh, and as she’s laughing, the baby slides out into Finn’s hands and he pulls her towards his chest just like a football. “Don’t spike her!” Noah says jokingly. 

“Holy shit, I’m holding our baby, you guys!” Finn says. “I’m not exactly sure what to do now. Nobody walked me through that part!”

“Now we keep her warm,” Kurt says, and he and Noah take a few of the blankets to Finn, draping them over the baby. “I suppose we should make sure she’s actually Nova, too.” 

Finn tips the baby slightly sideways. “Yep. She’s Nova, alright. Dude, Hannah, good work! That was some awesome birthing!”

“Oh god,” Hannah says, laughing again. 

“Hi, little girl,” Kurt says, looking down at Nova, who isn’t crying but does look disgruntled. “Oh, that’s your face, Finn.” 

“Don’t worry, Nova,” Finn coos at the baby. “You’ll outgrow my face.”

“But probably not the curly hair,” Noah adds, running a finger along the top of her head. 

“Poor Nova, got her Papa’s hair,” Finn says.

Valerie turns towards them, voice still relatively quiet. “If you want to take her upstairs now, Madison can go with you,” Valerie says, indicating one of her assistants. 

“Sure!” Finn says. “Kurt, Noah, one of you want to take her so I can towel off?”

“Hang on a second,” Kurt says as both of them pull off their own T-shirts. After Kurt’s shirt is off, he reaches for Nova, cradling her carefully. “Ooh, a good sized girl.” 

“Are you going to outweigh all of your siblings?” Noah says to Nova. “I think you might.” 

“She might weigh more than Eliza and Charlie combined,” Finn says. “She looks huge!” He climbs out of the birth pool and starts to dry himself off. “Hannah, you need us to go ahead and order that steak?”

Hannah gives him a thumbs up. “Make it get here in about an hour,” she replies. 

“You got it, mini-boss,” Finn says. 

Nova studies Kurt’s face carefully as the three of them walk up all the stairs to the bedroom. Finn calls about Hannah’s steak while they’re walking, and adds their orders as well. Once they’re upstairs, Kurt hands Nova to Noah, and the two of them settle on the bed while Finn changes his shorts. 

“You really do look like all of your siblings,” Noah says to her. “But so far, you’re calmer.” 

“That’s not hard to be,” Finn says, climbing into bed next to them. “Hi, Nova!”

Nova turns her head towards Finn’s voice, and Kurt reaches for her hand. “We should probably put a diaper on you before you make a mess on your Papa,” Kurt says ruefully. 

“Kids’re gonna be surprised when Safiya brings them home this afternoon,” Noah says with a quiet laugh. 

“Ninja baby,” Finn whispers, touching Nova’s palm with one finger, so her hand closes around his finger. 

Kurt smiles. “Then she’s definitely ours.” 

 

Finn had been worried about how the other kids would adjust to Nova, but it’s actually Nova who’s a little bit overwhelmed by her brother and sisters. Charlie begins the introductions by poking Nova in the face, looking unimpressed. Nova starts to cry.

“Da baby is liddle,” Charlie declares in her haughtiest voice. 

“Can I hold her?” Harvey asks. “Rock, rock, rock.”

Charlie turns a fierce glare on Harvey and shakes her finger at him as she yells, “Harbey! Don’t lub dat baby!”

“Aw, Charlie, come on,” Finn says. “Harvey can love his sister. You can love your sister, too.”

“Three sisters,” Harvey says to Charlie. “Three!”

“I lub Harbey, and Daddy, and Dad, and Papa, and Eliza,” Charlie says. She puts her hands on her hips. “Don’t lub dat baby.”

“Her name’s Nova, Charlie,” Eliza says. “Nova, like stars.”

“I don’t like tars,” Charlie says. “I don’t like dem.”

“You’re outnumbered!” Eliza says happily, laughing. “More kids than dads.”

“Da baby tan’t hab my toys,” Charlie declares.

“Nova will have her own toys when she’s big enough to play with them,” Finn assures Charlie. “She isn’t getting your toys.”

“Do you want to come see her again, with Harvey?” Noah asks, now that Nova’s not crying. Harvey nods and grabs Charlie’s hand, trying to tug her towards Nova. 

“Don’t tiss her, Harbey,” Charlie tells him. “Don’t tiss dat baby.”

“Okay, Charlie,” Harvey says, still pulling Charlie with him. “Nova looks sad.”

“I poke-ed her face!” Charlie says proudly. “She went ‘waaaaaaaaaah’.”

“And if you poke her in the face and make her cry again, you’ll be in some trouble,” Finn says. “We don’t poke our family members in the face, even if they’re little.”

“I do,” Charlie counters.

“Not if you want to stay up to see Uncle Jamie when he comes over later,” Finn tells her. “Little girls who poke their sisters in the face go right to bed after they eat. _And_ I’ll tell Uncle Jamie you’re a baby face poker.”

“No!” Charlie says, suddenly contrite. “Don’t tell him dat!”

“Trust me, Charlie, you don’t want to make a baby cry, either,” Kurt says, picking Charlie up and putting her in his lap. “Do you know who used to cry a lot?”

“Dad?” Charlie guesses.

Kurt laughs. “He might’ve, but Harvey really did.”

“Why?” Charlie asks. “Did you poke-ed Harbey’s face?”

“No, no one poked Harvey’s face. Maybe he was crying because you weren’t born yet,” Kurt says. “So perhaps Nova’s sad because she doesn’t have anyone to be a Pea with.”

“Oh no!” Charlie says, putting her hands to her face and looking theatrically sad. “Dat sad baby!”

“Do you want to come tell Nova that you’re sorry you poked her face?” Finn asks, and Charlie nods her head somberly. “Go see Papa, then.”

Charlie slides off Kurt’s lap and walks to Papa. “Show me dat baby.”

Noah tilts Nova towards her slightly, and Nova stares at Charlie. “Careful,” Noah says softly. “Remember she’s a little confused, too.”

“Sorry I poke-ed you face, baby,” Charlie says softly. “Oh, I lub you, baby Noba! Don’t be sad!”

“I swear she’s picking up the Bronx from Hannah,” Finn whispers to Kurt. “And you know Hannah’s only got the Bronx out of spite.”

Kurt stifles a laugh and nods. “We’ll still have to keep an eye on the two of them.”

“Bad influence,” Finn agrees. 

Charlie gently touches Nova, who blinks her eyes slowly. “Done with da baby now. Harbey’s turn.” As she backs away, though, she says to Harvey, “Don’t lub da baby _best_.”

“Nova is still sad?” Harvey asks Noah, who shakes his head. 

“She’s not sad. She has to get a little older before it’s easy for her to smile,” Noah explains, and Harvey nods, patting the top of Nova’s head softly. 

“Eliza, Peas, are you ready to have dinner? It’s a little early, but the food’s here already,” Kurt says, standing up. 

“Aaaaand I’ll just take that Nova, thanks,” Finn says, scooping Nova out of Noah’s arms. “’Cause she missed me and she’s hungry, too, aren’t you Nova?”

Noah shakes his head. “Four kids, blue eyes, and we still don’t get to hold the baby.”

 

By relatively early on Thursday evening, the older three children are asleep, or at least in bed, and Kurt is sitting on the bed watching Finn walk Nova around post-bottle. Nova raises her head off Finn’s shoulder just slightly, then drops it back down as her eyes half-close. 

“Sleepy baby girl,” Kurt says. “Are you going to go to sleep for Dad?”

“Shhhh,” Finn whispers. “Almost.”

“Mmmhmm,” Kurt says softly as Nova’s eyes close fully. “Sweet baby. She’ll be up again soon, though.”

Finn carefully sits on the edge of the bed, scooting over so he’s closer to Kurt. “Pretty sure she’s out, but I’m giving it another few minutes before I put her in the bassinette.”

“Your only motivation, I’m sure,” Kurt says, nodding. 

“I can’t help it that I’m a baby magnet, Kurt. All the babies love me.”

“Hey,” Noah says quietly, walking into the room with a tablet in one hand. “She out?”

Kurt nods. “Just now.”

Noah sits down very slowly, peering at Nova’s face and grinning. “So here’s two different versions,” he says, turning the tablet towards Kurt and Finn. “You want the real one or the wider consumption one first?”

“Real,” Finn says.

“Okay.” Noah taps on one part and one of the pictures they’d taken the day before fills the screen, all of their right hands in a circle around Nova. “No one’ll be able to tell Harv and Char’s hands apart, but the rest of us are pretty obvious.”

Kurt laughs and nods. “That’s true.” The text is straightforward – November June Hudson-Hummel, born Tuesday, September 7, 2027, at 1:14 pm, eight pounds four ounces and twenty-one inches. Nova’s looking just to the side of the camera, one arm raised in a tiny fist. “I like it.” 

“That’s awesome,” Finn says. “Her little fist is great, too.”

“She’s already getting ready to fight back,” Noah says. “Okay, and the other one.” He taps the tablet again, and this time there’s a picture of Nova by herself, and the text simply has November June, without a last name. “Figured that the sender would clue people in well enough,” Noah says with a shrug. 

“And if not, they’ll figure it out eventually,” Kurt says. 

“I like the real one better, but that’s nice, too,” Finn says. “Now, send the real one to Syd first, because if she doesn’t find out before other people, she’s gonna kill me.”

Noah laughs. “I figured we’d send out the real one tonight, and the other one tomorrow.” 

“Makes sense,” Kurt agrees as Noah picks up the tablet to send the announcement out to Syd and the rest of their list for who gets the real announcement. “Beth’ll let Audrey know, and show it to her tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Noah says with a nod. “At least she’ll be able to sneak away and see her when we’re in Lima next month.”

“All our girls can meet our newest girl,” Finn says. “Who is getting transferred into her bassinette now, so nobody make a noise for the next thirty seconds.” 

Finn has barely stood up when his phone lights up, playing out the ringtone Kurt recognizes as Syd’s. Finn frantically jerks his head in the direction of the phone, but it’s too late to keep Nova from starting to wiggle and chirp.

“You’d better answer it,” Kurt says, stretching out his arms for Nova.

Finn manages to muster a pitiful-looking pout as he hands Nova off and picks up his phone. “Hey, Syd! Hang on, I’ll put you on speaker.” Finn sets the phone down on the bed. “Ok, you can talk now.”

“Finn Hudson!” Syd says. “She was born on _Tuesday_ and you didn’t tell me until now?”

“Uh. We were trying to keep it a secret for a couple of days,” Finn offers as an explanation. “So we wouldn’t get bombarded. Also, Charlie was poking her in the face, so we figured they needed the adjustment time.”

“I’m not everyone,” Syd points out. “And isn’t that what siblings do?”

“The Peas didn’t,” Kurt says. “Hi, Syd. Thank you for calling, actually, because I managed to steal Nova away from Finn.” He grins at Finn as he speaks, shifting Nova higher on his shoulder.

“Sorry, Syd,” Finn says. “I promise it’ll never happen again.”

“How many kids are you three going to have?” Syd asks incredulously. 

“Hmm. As many as they’ll let me?” Finn offers.

“Finn Hudson, Baby Collector,” Noah says gravely. “We’ll make him stop when we run out of places to put them, if not before.” 

“He’d probably just want to build more rooms, you know,” Syd says. “Well, Finn? Tell me a little about her, other than her weight, length, and ability to make a fist.”

“She doesn’t like being poked in the face,” Finn says. “So that’s something.”

“Does anyone enjoy that? Really, Finn. Is she perpetually confused by her environment yet? I get confused sometimes over there.”

“Hey, I enjoy it sometimes, depending on what’s poking me!” Finn protests. “But yeah, mostly she sleeps and gives us this weird look like she’s not too sure about us yet. On the plus side, she’s not a screamer and she hasn’t pooped on anybody yet.”

“I’m sure the latter is just a matter of time,” Noah says wryly. 

“So far, she’s not as easy as Charlie was, but easier than Harvey and Eliza,” Finn says. “But I mean, every baby is easier than Harvey was, especially during those three weeks. You remember those?”

“I do, but I doubt Kurt and Noah do, since sleep deprivation is supposed to affect memory,” Syd says, sounding like she’s trying not to laugh. “Send me a message tomorrow and let me know when I can come meet her.”

Nova squeaks a little as Syd finishes talking, and Kurt shifts her again. “But you have to sleep tonight, Nova,” he says to her. 

“Maybe I should take her back for a little while,” Finn says.

Kurt laughs. “Sneaky, darling.” 

“I’ll let the three of you argue over the baby, then,” Syd says. “Night, all.” 

“We love you Syd!” Finn says, a little more loudly than necessary. The call disconnects and Finn moves the phone back to the bedside table. He’s only just set it down when it begins to buzz with a text. 

“And here they come,” Noah says, as his phone starts to ring, followed seconds later by a text on Kurt’s. “Silence ’em?”

“I think we’ll have to,” Kurt agrees. 

“Here, I’ll just take Nova,” Finn says, swiping Nova from Kurt’s arms, “and let you two experts deal with the phones.”

“I’ve been tricked,” Kurt says with a sigh, shaking his head and turning his phone to silent before doing the same to Finn’s. 

“How about I get this baby back to sleep, and then I’ll make it up to you?” Finn asks. “Quietly.”

“If we aren’t quiet, it just gives you another excuse to pick her up,” Noah points out. “So I don’t think you’ll be too upset either way.”

“Nope. Either way, I’m the winner,” Finn agrees. “It’s nice to be a winner.”


	5. Charlie-fornia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Los Angeles isn't exactly like New York.

Kurt looks over the confirmation pages—all of them—and then hits the necessary button for all of it to be automatically added to the calendar. Flights, hotels, a rental vehicle, and assorted other things for six weeks in southern California. Artie's assured them that he won't need them constantly, and that Kurt's portions shouldn't take too long to film, but Kurt still thinks that the packing will be somewhat daunting. 

Either that, or they should just plan on going shopping within the first few days after they arrive. 

"Well, that's all of the travel arrangements," Kurt says, turning around, and Noah looks up before nodding. 

"You're good with those changes?"

"I understand why they have to be made, anyway," Kurt says wryly. "I'm sure we'll get more changes, but smaller ones, in the two months or so between now and the end of June."

"Oh, I figure there'll be _lots_ of little changes once we get out there." Noah snorts. "Now we just have to figure out what Finn's going to be listed as in the credits." 

"I'm sure we can think of something," Kurt offers as they head out of the theatre. They'll be back after dinner through at least the first act, and they probably should pop down to the Nederlander at some point before the end of the week, but for now, they're heading home for a few hours. They do find two seats next to each other, and Kurt leans against Noah, stifling a yawn. 

"Need some coffee?" Noah teases, taking Kurt's hand. 

"Maybe so. Thursdays always feel like the hardest day."

"Yeah," Noah agrees, nodding, and the two of them fall silent for the rest of the short train ride. Kurt stops just inside the foyer when they get home, listening for a minute and failing to hear any Pea-sounds. 

"Finn?" Kurt calls. 

“I’m up here,” Finn calls back.

“You’re always up there relatively speaking,” Noah yells towards the stairs. “Kids not home yet?”

“They stopped off at Too Scoops,” Finn shouts down. “Safiya texted. Should I come down or are you coming up? I’m tired of yelling!”

“Come down, I need coffee,” Kurt says loudly as he walks into the kitchen and heads towards the coffeemaker. Finn comes down the stairs after a moment, wandering into the kitchen. 

“There’s some of that coffee from Antigua that you like,” Finn says. “I stuck it up in the cabinet on my way through to upstairs.”

“Oh good.” Kurt pets the coffeemaker once before straightening and getting out the coffee. “I made more travel arrangements today than I have in years. Or possibly ever.” 

“You put me in the aisle, right?”

“We’re taking over an entire row in first class, so you have your choice of four possible aisle seats,” Kurt says wryly. “But I thought we’d let Eliza have one of the window seats.”

“Sounds good. Did you get Safiya’s stuff scheduled, too? She said she’d be fine with the second, third, or fourth week,” Finn says. “She’s got a thing on the fifth week, though.”

“Based on what Artie’s sent, I planned on the third week.” 

“And we’re going to have to drive again,” Noah points out. 

“I still remember how to do it, don’t worry,” Finn assures them.

“The hotel’s lovely, though.” Kurt grins. “Nice big whirlpool tub, darling.” 

“Does it have a pool?” Finn asks. “You know the Peas’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t.”

“Indoor and outdoor,” Kurt confirms with a nod. “And, perhaps more importantly, laundry service as well as shopping nearby.”

“You know, we haven’t ever really had much of a chance to figure out if either of the Peas get car sick,” Finn muses.

“Fuck, you’ve jinxed us,” Noah says, shaking his head as he hands Kurt a mug. Kurt pours himself some coffee and nods. 

“Noah’s right. Now we’ll have to make sure we steal the bags from the plane.”

“I bet they’ll be fine on the plane, but my money’s on Harv for a car puker,” Finn says.

“Let’s hope none of them are. I went ahead and got some of those tickets that don’t expire – the aquarium and a couple of other places.” Kurt shrugs. “Who knows, maybe we’ll like it so well we’ll want to go back another year.”

“And Disneyland?” Finn asks.

Kurt laughs. “And Disneyland.”

 

Considering that their flight leaves just after nine in the morning the Monday after Pride, and considering that they have luggage for six people for six weeks, Noah thinks that they do pretty well. Luckily two of the remaining first class seats are empty, which means they’re only potentially disturbing four people, and Eliza starts looking out the window before the engines make a sound, not even turning around when she answers one of them. 

“Time zones are odd,” Kurt announces once they’re at cruising altitude. “We’re going to be on here for six hours, but it’ll only be noon in L.A. when we land. I suppose we’ll eat lunch twice?”

“Sounds good to me,” Finn says. “You know the kids’ll always eat an extra meal.”

“It’ll distract them if it takes too long to get the rental car. Or whatever we’re renting,” Noah says. “Plus lunch on here will distract them if we’re busy.” 

“Us? Busy on the plane?” Kurt says. “Why would we be busy, baby?” He smirks over at Noah and then at Finn. 

“I don’t know about you, but I always appreciate a distraction while flying,” Finn says. “Definitely still not my favorite thing.”

“We’ll have to see if we can help you with that, then,” Noah says, grinning. 

“Look at the clouds!” Harvey says. “Dad, look! We’re on top!”

“Pigeons, Dad! Look at da pigeons!” Charlie says. “All da pigeons!”

“I see the clouds, Harvey,” Finn answers. “I think those are some other kind of bird, Charlie.”

Harvey blows out heavily, and Noah laughs. “Harv, we can’t make the clouds move. Not even a little bit.” 

“Where are we now?” Eliza asks without looking away from the window. “What state?”

“Confusion,” Finn answers.

“I see da fusion!” Charlie shrieks. “Da fusions and da pigeons!”

“Now how are we going to explain that?” Noah asks Finn under his breath. 

“We’re probably over Michigan,” Kurt says to Eliza. “Or Canada. We have to go north as well as west.” 

“If you look really hard, you might see the moose,” Finn says.

“I see da mootz!”

Noah snorts. “Are you going to tell her you see Brad from _Laboratory Brad_ when we get close to L.A.?” 

Despite Noah’s effort to keep his voice down, Charlie and Harvey both start singing the [_Laboratory Brad_](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NORWmibGeWkB23IlEFY9Q6yHFFQzB3FeNWE_nfWniU4/pub) theme song. Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Now we’ve really done it.” 

“Step one,” Harvey sings.

“You ask da twestion!” Charlie sings in response.

“Step two!”

“Hy-poff-a-siss!”

“You did get tickets for that science center in L.A., right?” Noah asks Kurt, who rolls his eyes and nods. 

“Hey, do you think _Laboratory Brad_ is filmed in L.A.?” Finn asks, as Charlie assures all of them at that step three is “make da guess!”

“Probably,” Noah concedes. “It doesn’t have the logo for the New York station after it.” 

“Surely Artie or Lauren would know,” Kurt says. “We can ask them. And then find out who they know that works on it.”

“Da twestion is…” Charlie begins, her eyebrows squishing together in a miniature version of Finn’s thoughtful expression. “How do da pigeons fwy?”

“They’re not pigeons, Charlie,” Eliza says, and Noah bites back a laugh at the fact that Eliza still hasn’t turned away from the window. “They’re geese. Right, Papa?”

“Canadian geese, yeah,” Noah agrees. “But that still doesn’t tell us if we’re over Michigan or Canada.”

“Da twestion is, how do da _pigeons_ fwy?” Charlie repeats firmly. “Harbey? What’s da hy-poff-a-siss?”

Harvey frowns. “Because… because of their feathers,” he finally says. “Things that fly have feathers.”

“Otay, pigeons fwy betause ob da fedders,” Charlie agrees. “Daddy? I need a pigeon.”

“Um.” Kurt looks over at Charlie and shakes his head slowly. “We can’t get a goose here, Charlie. Or a pigeon.”

“I need a pigeon to test da fedders,” Charlie explains, with a serious expression on her face. “You’ll gib me one in Charlie-fornia?”

“That experiment has to wait until we’re back in New York, Peas,” Finn says. “Sorry, but we aren’t allowed to have pet birds,” Charlie gives him a stern look, “or _science_ birds in the hotel.”

“How are we going to keep your cats from killing a science bird?” Kurt asks Noah. 

“ _Our_ cats,” Noah protests half-heartedly. “And I don’t think Ennis can kill anything. The other two, well.” He shrugs. “Maybe steer her towards cat experiments. Cheese can become a science cat.”

“Cheese lubs da pigeons,” Charlie assures them. “Cheese will gib da pigeons tisses.”

“Cheese’d do something with his mouth,” Noah agrees. 

“But not kisses!” Eliza says quietly before giggling. 

“I really think we should be one of those science research labs that doesn’t use animals in the experimenting,” Kurt offers, wincing slightly, probably at the thought of what Cheese _would_ do with a bird.

“Cleve is too afraid of heights to go after a bird,” Finn says. “He won’t even go past the second tier of the cat tower. You think he’s catching birds any time soon?”

“That’s how he’ll do it,” Kurt says almost darkly. “He’ll make the birds complacent, so they land near him, and then…” Kurt trails off and shrugs. “Then we’d have to all go see _The Lion King_ again, to remind them of the whole circle of life thing.”

“Oh, Dad, more pigeons!” Charlie shrieks. “All ob da pigeons!”

“What was that movie when we were kids, about the geese and an airplane?” Kurt mutters. “Clearly we should find that.”

“Yeah, I think the in-flight movie is _Fast & Furious 12_,” Noah says, then frowns. “Or is it _13_ by now?”

“Not sure which number in the franchise, but I think it’s _Even More Furious Than It Is Fast_ ,” Finn says.

“Either way, I don’t think the Peas need to watch it just before riding in a car for six weeks,” Kurt says wryly. “They’d have very unrealistic expectations for transportation.”

“The line on the posters was ‘and it’s pretty damn fast’, so maybe not so much,” Finn agrees.

“The clouds are gone,” Harvey says, turning around from the window to frown at them. “Where did the clouds go?”

“Space,” Charlie says. “Dey go to space.”

“We passed the clouds, Harvey,” Kurt says. “They’re back in Michigan-or-Canada and now we’re over, hmm. Minnesota-or-Canada. Probably not Canada any more though.” 

“I miss them.” Harvey crosses his arms, still frowning, but he turns back to the window without further comment. 

“I’m not buying pet clouds,” Noah whispers.

“Maybe we’ll find him a stuffed cloud later,” Finn whispers back. “Maybe stuffed birds for Charlie, too.”

“I just want a rocket,” Eliza says. “Is that another plane way over there?” She waves, laughing. “That’s so funny.”

“Add to the shopping list, blue eyes,” Noah says, biting back a laugh. “Apparently we need more than just more pairs of shorts.”

 

“Now, before we actually enter Legoland, we’re a hundred percent sure there are no streets made out of Legos where we have to walk barefoot, right?” Finn asks, as he and Noah herd the children into the park.

“That’s probably only if you try to shoplift or something,” Noah says. “Come to think of it, having to walk over Legos might be an effective deterrent.”

“Look at that submarine!” Eliza says, pointing. “That’s a lot of Legos.”

“Lego boats, Papa!” Charlie shrieks, grabbing Noah by the arm. “Dad, Dad, Dad, da boats!”

“I see them, Charlie,” Finn assures her. 

“So, dinosaurs or Duplos first?” Noah asks. “Since there’s only one boat that we can ride on, and the dock isn’t here.”

“Dinos, dinos!” Charlie says. “Harbey, say dinos!”

“Can we ride a dinosaur, Dad?” Harvey asks. “A real one?”

“Da belocirapda will be my pet,” Charlie declares.

“I think a velociraptor would eat the cats,” Noah whispers to Finn. 

“No. Cheese will eat da belocirapda,” Charlie counters. “And no secwits.”

Eliza shakes her head. “You might hear things, Charlie,” she informs Charlie. “Sometimes it’s better to let them whisper.”

Charlie glares at Eliza, and then at Finn and Noah, then she leans towards Harvey and makes a big show of whispering something in his ear. Harvey shakes his head and grabs Charlie’s hand, pointing towards a Lego dinosaur. 

“Poor Kurt,” Finn says to Noah. “Missing out on all this hot plastic action.”

Noah laughs. “Yeah, I’m sure he’s still plenty hot, though.” He starts to follow the Peas, nodding at Eliza. “They’re going to leave the three of us behind.”

Finn follows Noah in the direction of the dinosaur that Charlie and Harvey seem to be discussing how best to climb, despite the fact that the dinosaur is behind a barrier and still partially under construction. Regardless of what Finn said, he’s actually pretty sure that Kurt would rather be doing exactly what he’s doing this week, which is filming his scenes, than running around Legoland. 

“Coastersaurus!” Eliza says to Harvey and Charlie. “And then you can dig for dinosaurs.” She looks over at Noah and Finn. “I know they’re not real dinosaur bones.”

“Roller coaster?” Harvey says. 

“I will go on da toaster,” Charlie says.

“Well, let’s get in line, then,” Noah says, and once they’re in line, he looks around and then winces. “We’re going to practically have enough Legos to start Legoland Upper West Side by the time we leave today, aren’t we?”

“I want da dino Legos!”

“We’ll see, Charlie,” Finn says. “Maybe one set per kid today.”

An automated voice tells them how long they’ll be in line, to be sure to view their pictures after exiting the Coastersaurus, and not to forget that Legoland offers package pickup at the exit. “Package pickup, that’s exactly what we need,” Noah says wryly. 

“I want da dinos _and_ da boats.”

“Pretty sure the boats aren’t for sale, Char,” Noah says to her. “You want to sit on my shoulders for a few minutes?”

“Yes!”

“Harv, you want a lift up here?” Finn asks Harvey.

“Yes,” Harvey agrees, nodding rapidly. 

Eliza laughs after Charlie and Harvey are settled. “I don’t think I’d fit on Daddy’s shoulders.”

“Probably not,” Finn says. “When we go to the aquarium, you can ride on my shoulders, and we’ll let Daddy carry Harvey. How’s that?”

“I wanted to _swim_ at the aquarium,” Eliza counters, and Noah starts to laugh. 

“I know that look,” Finn says, nodding his head in Eliza’s direction. “She remind you of anybody?”

“Just her Aunt Hannah.”

Finn snorts. “Yeah, and the person her Aunt Hannah learned it from. That’s a you-face if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Hey, now. I’m pretty sure Hannah learned it from Nana,” Noah protests. 

“Is that a yes or a no on the swimming?” Eliza asks. 

“Pretty sure it’s a no,” Finn says. “Sorry. No humans with the fish.”

Eliza makes a face, then bounces up on her tip-toes. “We’re near the front!”

“Still have to wind around one more time, sweet potato,” Noah points out. “But not too much longer.”

“I promise I’ll take you to swim with some kind of sea creature as soon as you’re old enough, ok?” Finn says.

“A non-dangerous one,” Noah amends as Eliza nods eagerly. “Can’t you just see K’s face?”

“Dolphins, maybe. Or whales. Maybe some nice tunas or something,” Finn suggests.

“Dad, tuna’s for sushi,” Eliza says, laughing again. 

“Fine. Not tunas, then. Manta rays.”

“Mr. Ray!” Harvey says. 

“Let’s name da zones, da zones, da zones,” Charlie sings from Noah’s shoulders. “Let’s name da zones ob da open sea.”

“See? The Peas agree with me,” Finn says. “Manta rays it is.”

 

From the time they arrive in California, Kurt notices the paparazzi. It’s been years since he’s really noticed them or paid attention to them, but they’re at LAX and they’re all around L.A. It seems to take the paps a few weeks to realize that there might be something interesting to them at their hotel, and Kurt probably should have been expecting the paps to figure it out eventually, but when the six of them leave the hotel on a Sunday morning on the weekend between Kurt’s two scheduled weeks of filming, he isn’t expecting the cameras. 

“Oh, delightful,” Kurt says, picking up Charlie and turning her away from the gaggle of paps. “We’re interesting now.”

“We’re always interesting,” Finn counters. “They only just remembered.”

“I didn’t miss ’em,” Noah grumbles from the other side of Harvey’s head. “You’d think they could skip taking pictures of the kids.” 

“Say cheese?” Harvey asks. 

“Meow,” Charlie responds, then laughs at herself.

“Why are they taking pictures of us, Dad?” Eliza asks. “Is it because of the movie?”

“It’s because they finally guessed Papa’s secret superhero identity,” Finn says.

“Is Papa Spiderman?” Harvey asks with a laugh as they try to make their way down the sidewalk. 

“Your Papa is even more awesome than Spiderman,” Finn says. “Ask Eliza. She’ll tell you Papa’s superhero name.”

“It’s Puck!” Eliza announces happily. “But I didn’t think they knew that, Dad?”

“It’s a new marketing campaign,” Noah tells her somberly, and she giggles a little. 

“ _Milk_ , written by an actual superhero,” Finn agrees.

Kurt starts to think they might escape the paps even before they reach their restaurant when a few of them start calling out questions, one after another. “Are you in town to shoot _Milk_? Is it true you’re unhappy about substantial changes to the story? When will principal filming be done?” When none of them respond or even glance at the paps, the questions change. “Bluebird! Is it true that _Trois_ is about your ménage à trois with the Hummels? And that’s why the musical only won acting awards at the Tonys?” 

“These guys aren’t even trying hard,” Finn whispers to Kurt. “Back when I was playing, they’d have started with the ménage à trois.”

“Whose kids are those?” another one of the paps yells. “Where is their mother? Does their mother know about this?”

“Kurt, Noah, take the kids and walk fast,” Finn says, his face twisting into a hard scowl. “I’ve gotta stop for a second.”

“It’s fine,” Kurt says, putting his hand on Finn’s forearm. “It’s fine. You don’t want them to file charges or anything. Or, god, the others would take pictures.”

“K’s right,” Noah says quietly, all of them bunching together. “They’re just stupid. We’ll know when we leave after this. Okay?”

“Shit,” Finn mutters under his breath. “Ok. Ok, fine.” He puts his arm around Kurt’s waist. “If I see any pictures of the kids online, I’m kicking somebody’s ass, though.”

“I think for that, there’s things Syd and Tina can do,” Kurt points out. “It seems like there should be, anyway.”

“Kick ass!” Charlie exclaims. “Kick ass!”

Kurt presses his lips together and shakes his head. “Yet another child, darling, that you’ve taught bad language to.”

“I guess it’s better than actually modeling violence,” Finn offers, grinning at Kurt. “Probably?”

Kurt shakes his head again, trying not to laugh. “Probably so.”

“Just one shot?” a persistent pap calls after them. 

“Baby?” Kurt says thoughtfully. “Maybe you should turn around. And give them the finger.”

Noah laughs. “Gladly.”

 

“Hey, blue whale, how’re you doing today?” Finn asks, balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder so he doesn’t drop the mugs in his hands. He sets the mugs down on the table in front of Noah and Kurt and then takes the phone in hand instead.

“I don’t— okay, I’m not blue, anyway,” Hannah retorts. “Let me guess, your day’s just starting?” 

“Yep. Did I manage to catch you on your break?”

“Every time you call is a break,” Hannah says sweetly. “A joyous break from the monotony of chopping.” She drops the sweet tone and laughs. “No, I make other people do the chopping now.”

“You feeling ok?” Finn asks. “Is there anything you need today? I’ll have it delivered, you just let me know.”

“You should send Stevie some beer,” Hannah says. “Poor guy’s convinced you’re setting the standard too high for care of a pregnant woman.”

“I’m just setting a good example,” Finn counters. “How are your feet? Are your toes still puffy?”

“Nope, just regular piggies. We’re good, really. Do you still want Valerie to email you after I see her?”

“Sure, as long as that’s cool with you,” Finn says. 

“It’s fine,” Hannah says almost dismissively. “How did your big film debut go? Are you going to steal all of the nominations?” 

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna get the Oscar for ‘Best Shirtless Naval Officer Dancing on a Pride Float’ for sure,” Finn replies. “I got a little bit of a sunburn, but it was pretty fun.”

“He’s lying!” Kurt says loudly. “More than a little bit of sunburn.”

Hannah laughs. “Is Kurt chasing after you with the aloe yet?”

“He doesn’t have to chase me. He says sit still and I sit still. Duh. Are you new?”

“Oh, I think it’s more fun when there’s chasing. Too bad all of you are too old for that now.”

“That’s me, the geriatric shirtless naval officer,” Finn agrees. “They had to use a crane to get me up on the float.”

“We’re gonna rent a power scooter for Disneyland!” Noah says towards the phone. 

“Now, you know being in a scooter isn’t an automatic go directly to the front of the line, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars thing anymore, right?” Hannah teases. “After all those— oh wait. All those rich cheaters from Manhattan, pretending to be old.” 

“So, are we old or are we pretending to be old? You’ve gotta make up your mind, squirrel-monkey!”

“Maybe just eccentric,” Hannah says decisively. “So shirtless naval officer, does that mean you are going to go down to the actual Navy yard in San Diego?”

“I think I’d be a distraction to the actual naval officers,” Finn says. “At least, if they had let me keep the costume, which they didn’t.”

“We could find you a replica,” Kurt offers quietly. 

“What was that?” Hannah asks. 

“Uh. Nothing. It was nothing,” Finn says. “I’ll let you get back to chopping or whatever it is you’re doing. You call me or text me if you need anything. _You_ , not your sub-par boyfriend, got it?”

“Got it,” Hannah says, sounding like she’s rolling her eyes. “Tell everyone else I said hi.”

“I will. Tell the baby we said hi!” Finn answers. 

“Of course. Bye!”

“K’s right,” Noah says. “We probably could get you a replica.”

“But only to wear indoors, ok?” Finn asks. “’Cause of the sunburn.”

Noah snorts. “It wasn’t going to be on that long, anyway.”

 

Kurt wonders briefly, as they arrive at the soundstage where _Laboratory Brad_ is filmed, if anyone warned Laboratory Brad that he was going to have two very enthusiastic young fans visiting. 

“Step two!” Harvey yells when he sees the logo beside the door. 

“Hy-poff-a-siss!” Charlie screams in response. 

“Daddy?” Eliza says. “Can you buy me some of those special headphones for the flight home?”

“Special headphones?” Kurt asks.

“The ones where you can’t hear anyone!”

“Ohhh, the noise-cancelling kind.” Kurt tries not to laugh. “We’ll see.”

“Maybe a pair for each of us?” Finn suggests. 

“More like we could gift the flight attendant,” Noah says, grinning. “Hey, Peas, look. There’s all of the equipment.”

“The only thing I remember from physics is the Hot Wheels,” Kurt admits. “And I was always worried the room was going to blow up during chemistry.”

“Brad!” Charlie shrieks, pointing to the far end of the soundstage, where a handsome young black man in a pristine white lab coat and brightly-colored goggles is talking to a woman in a headset. “Dat’s Brad!”

“Laboratory Brad!” Harvey agrees. “Where’s Petri?”

“I’m sure we’ll see Petri soon,” Kurt reassures Harvey, shrugging slightly once Harvey turns back to watch the crew set up. 

“Charlie! Maybe Laboratory Brad has pigeons!” Harvey suggests. 

“Oh! Pigeons for science!” Charlie answers, bouncing up and down. 

“Can we meet him?” Harvey asks. “Can we ask about pigeons?”

“You can meet him after the show,” Noah answers. “Okay? During the show we have to sit quietly and just watch.”

“Maybe he’ll have pigeons _in_ the show!” Harvey declares. 

“Or geese,” Eliza whispers loudly. 

“Or Mickey Moutz!” Charlie adds.

“That was yesterday,” Kurt says. “And the day before that.”

“Yeah, probably no Mickey here, Char,” Noah says. 

“I lub Mickey Moutz.”

“We know you do,” Finn assures her. “You’ve told us a bunch of times.”

"Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck," Harvey sings. 

“I lub Labbatory Brad!” Charlie adds.

“We all know that, too, kiddo,” Finn says. “Everybody knows.”

Harvey looks over at Charlie and frowns. “Mickey Mouse isn’t real, so that’s okay.”

“Labbatory Brad is on da telebijin,” Charlie tells Harvey. “Harbey, he’s on da telebijin!”

“He’s there!” Harvey says, pointing across the soundstage. “This isn’t teevee.”

“Because they’re about to film the episode for the television show,” Kurt explains. “And remember, afterwards, we need to thank Lauren’s friend Dennis.”

“Or tell him sorry,” Noah whispers. 

“Da music!” Charlie shrieks. “Da music! Da show is tartin’!”

“Yeah, we’d better all find out seats and be _shhhhh_.” Finn holds a finger up to his lips. “Very quiet like little quiet baby mice.”

“Baby Mickey Moutzes,” Charlie stage-whispers.

“Like Pluto,” Harvey says. 

“Poor Pluto,” Eliza says sadly. 

“Come on, Charlie,” Kurt offers. “You can sit in my lap, and when you feel like singing, just pretend to sing instead, okay?”

“Otay! I will do dat!” Charlie climbs into Kurt’s lap as they all take their seats. 

“I’m sitting with you,” Harvey tells Finn, looking back and forth between Charlie and Laboratory Brad. 

“Harbey! Dat’s Brad! Ober dere!”

“I see him,” Harvey says, nodding twice. Everyone falls silent as the show gets underway, and the Peas are remarkably quiet as the show is filmed. After the final scene, however, Harvey jumps up and applauds. Charlie doesn’t leave Kurt’s lap, but she also claps loudly.

“I lub it!” Charlie says as she claps. 

“So what’re you going to tell Laboratory Brad?” Noah asks her. 

“Tank you, Labbatory Brad!”

“Thank you!” Harvey echoes. Dennis comes over and introduces himself, and after thanking him, Dennis says the kids can have a picture with Laboratory Brad if they want one. 

“What do you think, Peas?” Noah asks. 

“Yes!” Charlie squeals. “Oh yes, I lub dat!”

“Both of us,” Harvey says. 

“What about you?” Kurt asks Eliza, and she shakes her head. 

“Maybe beside the beakers?” she says. 

“I lub Charlie-fornia,” Charlie says. “It’s my best place!”

 

Noah thinks that it’s probably okay that they couldn’t get the exact same suite they used over the summer for the premiere, but it’s the same hotel, and Kurt does disappear for some kind of spa thing in the afternoon. The way Noah figures it, grooming rituals are probably best kept private. 

Someone had suggested running the premiere just the day before the movie opened, but that would have meant their Tuesday, so instead it’s a week before Thanksgiving and the three of them are putting on suits at 4:30 in the afternoon. 

“At least one thing’s the same between New York and L.A.,” Noah says, “even if everything else is different.” 

“My suit is grey?” Finn asks.

“Okay, two things,” Noah concedes. “If there’s suits, we’re waiting on a car to take us somewhere.” 

“Sadly, without a chance of winning anything tonight,” Kurt says. 

“I still think there’s a chance I could be issued some kind of special award for my dancing,” Finn says.

“Probably not by anyone in charge tonight, though,” Kurt argues. 

Noah smirks. “We could give you a _re_ ward.”

“That works, too.” Finn grins and raises his eyebrows. “You think this place has bathrooms?”

“You should be careful with your tie, darling, needing it re-tied all the time,” Noah says with a laugh. 

“You know how I am. Can’t leave it alone,” Finn says. 

“But darling, you have to look your best,” Kurt says. “You are the shirtless naval officer, after all.” 

“They may be expecting me to be shirtless,” Finn offers. “Since I am kind of known for that.”

“Finn Zorro-Shirtless-Naval-Officer Hudson, that’s you,” Noah agrees.

Kurt laughs. “And we thought Nova had a long name.”

“Hey, don’t forget the ‘Bluebird’,” Finn says. “I have the tattoo to back it up!”

“And that is why we’re going to just stick with one or two names,” Noah says wryly. The hotel calls up that their car is there just as they finish getting dressed, and Noah doesn’t even attempt to figure out what direction they’re going in. He has New York completely figured out, but Los Angeles is a little different. 

When they arrive at the theatre where the premiere is being held, they walk the red carpet, which is a much more intense press of paps and everything than even the Tonys are in New York. On the plus side, though, as far as Noah’s concerned, is none of them particularly want to talk to him. The last time someone asked him a question about the movie and the musical, it was so dumb that Noah hadn’t been sure the guy actually meant it seriously. 

“Well, that was different,” Kurt says when they get inside the theatre lobby. 

“I thought there’d maybe be hors d’oeuvres,” Finn notes, sounding a little disappointed. “Like in my mind, I was picturing guys with silver trays with little shrimp and bacon things.”

“Maybe that’s at the Oscars,” Noah says. “So one of you two should get nominated for Supporting Actor and we’ll find out.” 

“Has an unnamed character ever had his or her actor win an Oscar?” Kurt asks. “I wonder.”

“I should see if they’ll let me reprise my role at the Tonys next time,” Finn says. “I mean, there’s no reason why you couldn’t go back and add the dancing shirtless naval officer to the musical.”

“Didn’t you say there was discussion of you co-hosting next year?” Kurt says. “It’d be hard to co-host and also be in a number.”

“Maybe you could work the naval officer into co-hosting, though?” Noah offers. 

“I could just do the whole gig shirtless!”

“A new sartorial choice, I suppose,” Kurt says with a smile, then smirks slightly and offers them each an arm. “Shall we go see what Artie and Lauren managed to do, then?”

“It can’t be too bad, at least,” Noah jokes. “We already heard the soundtrack.”


	6. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Autumn 2027 has more than one reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read our [expanded authors' notes](http://storyof3boys.livejournal.com/143025.html).

No one precisely asks Kurt if he misses his father, or when, but if someone were to ask, Kurt would say yes, but the moments in which he misses Burt are not when someone might expect. 

Kurt doesn't miss him on Father's Day, not in 2026 and not in 2027. Father's Day is Fathers' Day for them, and probably one of the holidays they celebrate with the most gusto. Hannah comes over and helps the kids make breakfast, which gets left outside the bedroom along with a note about what time they'll be back, and the afternoon inevitably is present after present followed by all of them going to dinner. 

So no, Kurt doesn't miss Burt on Fathers' Day, because that day is about his family. 

When Kurt thinks back over his life, he realizes that he would have made the same choice far, far earlier than he ever had to make it. He never had to, not until later, but his family is Noah and Finn, first and foremost, and has been for a very long time. If he were required to face Burt daily and make the same choice, he would, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't miss Burt. 

He misses him at odd, unexpected times; when one of the kids makes a funny comment or has a particularly good day or suddenly reminds Kurt of himself as a child or something Burt once said. Those are the times that Kurt suddenly thinks of him, when he has a momentary pang. 

Kurt knows that Finn and Noah notice, because they know him well enough to see what no one else ever sees. They don't talk about it, though, the moments passing with silent acknowledgment. 

Kurt's phone doesn't light up with Burt's number, not after the first little while, and Noah eventually blocks Burt's number on his phone. Kurt can go days and even weeks without really thinking about his dad, but landing in Columbus on a flight straight from LaGuardia is not one of those days, not when all of them are there, even three week old Nova, for the weekend's reunion, or what Kurt privately thinks of as an excuse for Audrey to sneak off to see them and meet Nova. 

"I'll go get the rental," Kurt tells Finn and Noah, taking Harvey with him. The boy behind the rental counter keeps staring at Kurt, then snaps his fingers. 

"You look so familiar!" 

"I doubt it," Kurt says dryly, shaking his head. "Unless you're a very avid fan of musical theatre and/or _Out_ magazine." 

"That's it!" The boy's face lights up. "You're Kurt Hummel! Why are you in Ohio?"

"High school reunion," Kurt says, stopping himself from rolling his eyes. "Thank you for your help."

"No problem! It's great to meet you!" 

Kurt smiles tightly and takes the keys, turning back around with Harvey beside him. 

"Who was that, Daddy?" 

"Just someone who probably wants to get out of Ohio," Kurt says quietly. "Ready to go find our vehicle?"

"Let's get Dad and Papa," Harvey agrees. "And Charlie."

"Not Eliza and Nova?" Kurt asks, amused. 

"Eliza's okay, but Nova's kind of noisy!"

 

Finn hasn’t been back to Lima for two years, so driving into town that Thursday night feels strange and a little uncomfortable, like coming across pictures of himself from middle school. Something about Lima makes him feel awkward and far outside his comfort zone, and he realizes that if it hadn’t been for the family they still had there, he might have realized this fact years ago. He isn’t the only one; Kurt’s on edge, Noah’s quieter than normal, and even the Peas seem crankier, though that could be because their bedtime has already come and gone.

“Do we need to stop for anything before we check in?” Finn asks Noah, seated in the passenger seat. “Drive-through?”

“Yeah, I don’t think a pop would be a bad thing,” Noah agrees. “Maybe a snack for us and Eliza. We’ve got those fruit things for the Peas.”

“McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Arby’s?” Finn offers. “I don’t think I’m willing to get out and go in anywhere.”

“I want a turnover,” Kurt says. “Let’s get Arby’s.” 

“Ok, that works.” Finn steers the rental SUV towards the Arby’s drive-through. “You should get two. Maybe a milkshake.” 

“Yeah, good plan,” Noah agrees, turning towards Finn with a small smirk. 

“Not a chocolate one, though,” Kurt warns. “Apple.”

“Yeah, the chocolate’s all for me,” Noah says. 

“Jamocha shake?” Finn asks. 

“I want dat!” Charlie pipes up from the back row of seating.

“No, no milkshakes for Peas,” Eliza says. “I _heard_ them.”

“No!” Charlie shrieks. “I _want_ dat! I want dat chake!”

“Peas need a snack too!” Harvey insists loudly. Finn glances in the rearview mirror and sees Harvey with his arms crossed, looking very Kurt–like in his disgruntlement. Charlie just looks like she might kick somebody if she could get her legs over the seat.

“Maybe the Peas could have a small shake,” Finn concedes. 

“Big chake!” Charlie counters.

“Small shake or no shake,” Finn says. “Choose.”

“Two small chakes!”

“One small shake or no shake,” Finn says.

After some grumbled consultation between the Peas, Harvey crosses his arms again. “Small shakes, Dad.”

“Mamocha chake,” Charlie says. “Harbey wants banilla.”

“Ok, one small jamocha shake for Charlie, one small vanilla shake for Harvey,” Finn says. He repeats it into the speaker, followed by Kurt, Noah, Eliza, and his own orders. “See? That didn’t have to be so dramatic.”

“Yeah, it’s us,” Noah says. “I think it did have to be.”

“Chocolate for Papa!” Charlie says. “Dad. Dad! Chocolate for Papa!”

“I ordered Papa’s chocolate shake and his chocolate turnover,” Finn says. “Jeez, apparently it really does have to be that dramatic.”

“Just imagine if some part of it comes out incorrectly,” Kurt says. 

“If it’s mine, I’m not mentioning it,” Finn says. “Let’s just get to the hotel before the Peas reach critical mass.”

“I’m not a mess!” Charlie says.

“ _Mass_ , Charlie.” Finn pays for their food and accepts the bags. “Look, your shake!”

“Shake rattle roll,” Harvey says, then laughs. 

“And now we’ll shake, rattle, and roll to our hotel for B-E-D,” Finn agrees. 

“Where they had better have adjoining spaces as promised,” Kurt says, sighing a little. “I had to actually call with the reservation, and they were very confused about who we wanted in what rooms.”

“Well, it _is_ Lima,” Finn points out. “Maybe we should just feel lucky they didn’t refuse to let three adults stay in the same room, period. I bet Allen County has ordinances about that.”

“Brothel laws,” Noah says. “Finn, you can be the hooker. You never told us that about Lady Coco.”

“Who’s Lady Coco?” Eliza asks. 

“She’s, uh…” Finn narrows his eyes at Noah. “A lady that we used to know a long time ago.”

Noah snickers. “We’ll tell you about her when you’re older, sweet potato.”

 

On Friday morning, the seven of them walk to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast, after a brief Cracker Barrel vs. Bob Evans discussion. After that, they drive to McKinley, because Beth has asked them at least three times to ‘drop in’ on the end of glee club rehearsal on Friday morning. 

Nothing about McKinley really seems all that different: the lockers are the same color, the floors look the same, and the kids sitting in their classrooms look just as disengaged as Noah remembers. A few do perk up enough to give the seven of them an odd look or two as they make their way towards the same room Schue’s been using for the past fifteen years. Or sixteen, really, since a new school year’s already started. 

Noah has a suspicion that most of the glee club doesn’t know who Beth and Audrey are related to; it’s not a bad policy, and Noah certainly never regretted their adherence to it while Finn was playing. Still, Beth’s a senior now, and he also suspects that she wants to be a little dramatic and show off. 

“I have a feeling Beth didn’t warn Schue,” Noah says quietly as they round the last corner. “The real question is who should knock.”

“I’ll do it,” Finn says. As they approach the door, Finn brings his hand up, and then raps on the door loudly. 

“… in just a second, while I see who…” Schue answers the door and trails off, eyes widening as he looks at them all. “Wow, what a surprise, guys!” he says, stepping back. “Come in, come in.”

“Oh my god!” Audrey says loudly, then bursts into tears. “You’re all here!”

“Beth?” Noah says as Finn walks over towards a still–sobbing Audrey. “Didn’t you warn Audrey?”

“Um… no?” Beth says somewhat sheepishly. “I thought it would be a nice surprise!”

Audrey clings to Finn as he hugs her. “Nobody told me! I didn’t know you were coming? Do Mom and Dad know?” She buries her face in Finn’s shirt for a moment before her head pops up again. “Where is Nova?”

“Right here,” Kurt answers. “Enjoying the relative quiet of a high school, apparently.” When Noah looks over, Nova does look like she’s enjoying herself, staring around the room. 

Audrey pulls herself away from Finn, wiping her eyes. “You give me that baby, Kurt Hummel!” she demands. 

“Aunt Aud! Aunt Aud!” Charlie screams, flinging herself at Audrey’s legs as she puts her arms out for Nova. 

“It’s good to see you too,” Kurt says, handing Nova over and giving Audrey a hug. 

“You goed away foreber!” Charlie says. Audrey hoists Nova up in her arms and then sits down again, Charlie climbing into the chair next to her without actually letting go of Audrey’s leg. 

“Who are all these people?” asks a girl on the far end of the choir room. “Who are all those kids?”

“They’re my brothers,” Audrey says. “And my nieces and nephew.”

“Papa!” Eliza says loudly, giggling. “Look at your hair!” She points to something on the wall, and Noah looks over at Schue questioningly. 

“I have pictures of each year’s glee club over there,” Schue says, and Noah groans. 

“Really?” He looks at Beth. “So I’m sure you’ve pointed me out proudly, then.”

“You don’t think I could rock a mohawk?” Beth asks. 

“I think your mom would kill me.” Noah pauses. “I did once say it’d be cool if you came out with a mohawk, though.”

“I don’t think you have the hair for it,” Finn says. “I think you should do that thing with the beads.”

“Why are you standing like that, Daddy?” Eliza asks, still examining the picture. “Hey, it’s Dr. Matt!”

“Dr. Ruckafor?” Charlie asks, peering over Audrey at the picture without letting go of her. 

“Yeah, remember how we told you that Dr. Matt went to school with us for a while,” Finn says. 

“ _Doctor_ Matt?” Schue repeats. “I had no idea.” 

“Yeah, we ran into him earlier this year,” Noah says. “Ended up in New York, too.” 

“Are you staying for a long time?” Audrey asks. She holds Nova against her chest, with Nova’s head near Audrey’s shoulder. “Please talk to Mom, Finn. If you just talk to her, maybe she’ll stop being like that.”

Finn looks a little like he might cry himself as he sits down on Audrey’s other side. “Audie-Aud, I don’t think I can make her do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

“Maybe if all three of you talk to her,” Audrey pleads. “Maybe you could come for Thanksgiving or Christmas or something.”

“It’s not that simple, Audrey,” Kurt says softly. “But we’re here through the weekend, and I think you’re supposed to be at Beth’s tomorrow night?” 

“Yep,” Beth says smugly. “Just make sure your mom drops you off before five, Aud.”

“I still don’t know who all these people are,” another girl says. “I didn’t know Audrey even had that many brothers.”

“Allow me to introduce them,” Beth says, and Noah mentally groans at the smirk on her face. “As all of you know, I was Mr. Schue’s first second-generation member, and this is my dad, Noah Hummel. This is Kurt Hummel, and _yes_ , you should recognize those names from our Sectionals sheet music, and—”

“Your sheet music?” Noah interrupts. 

“Shush, I’ll tell you later,” Beth says, still smirking. 

“And that’s Finn Hudson, also known variously as Bluebird, Zorro, and the rumored co-host of the 2028 Tony Awards,” Beth finishes. “Eliza’s looking at pictures, Charlie’s attached to Audrey, Harvey’s attached to Charlie, and Nova’s the one Audrey’s holding.” 

“Wait, Audrey’s brother is your dad?” a boy near the front asks.

“Close enough,” Noah says, grinning. 

“So, Audrey’s your aunt?” says the girl from earlier. “Why didn’t I know that?”

Beth shrugs. “Guess you didn’t need to know that.”

“I’m still back on the sheet music, actually,” Kurt says, turning towards Beth. 

“I want Audrey at my house,” Charlie says. “Dat’s what I want.”

“I want to go to your house,” Audrey tells her. Finn puts his arm around Audrey’s shoulders, and Audrey leans against him. “I want to come stay with you and see everybody.”

“Like Cheese,” Charlie says, sniffling a little. 

“And Syd and everybody else,” Audrey agrees. 

“We’ll try, ok?” Finn says softly. “I can’t promise anything, Aud.”

Audrey nods. “I know.”

Noah frowns a little, and he notices Schue frowning somewhat before he straightens and claps his hands to get the students’ attention. “Beth was right, though; all of you should recognize the names Kurt and Noah Hummel, because these two are the ones that wrote—”

“ _Milk_!” Eliza interrupts him. “Or did you mean the other one?”

Schue laughs after a few seconds. “No, no, I did mean _Milk_. Thank you.” 

 

The ‘family picnic for all reunion classes’ had seemed like a benign enough thing to attend; forty-five minutes into it, one of the organizers declares that there should be football, the class of 2012 against the class of 2017. Noah and Finn jump up to join Sam, Mike, and Karofsky, along with a few others, and the first problem quickly becomes apparent. 

“This isn’t exactly fair!” protests one of the class of 2017 players. “You’ve got one pro and one former pro player on your team!”

“Yeah, but we’re _old_ ,” Finn calls out. “You guys aren’t afraid of a bunch of old guys, are you?”

“Shhh,” Karofsky says to Finn. “We should be trying not to let on about how old we are.” 

Kurt nods to himself, shifting Nova’s weight and glancing back to make sure Eliza and the Peas are still happily playing. Karofsky is right; they shouldn’t be claiming age as an excuse, not yet. “Well, here we go again,” Kurt says, looking to his left at Casey. 

“I just hope David is careful with his knees,” Casey sighs. 

“Yeah,” Kurt says understandingly. “Finn’s shoulder.”

“It’s just touch, right?” Mike yells out as they start to huddle up. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll go easy on you old men,” the same 2017er shouts. 

“It’s not really going to be touch, is it?” Casey says more than asks. 

“I’m an award-winning choreographer!” Mike protests. “Don’t break my bones!”

“No,” Kurt agrees, shaking his head. “I don’t think it will be.” 

“Well, I guess we can make ice packs if we need to,” Casey says. “I saw some sandwich baggies on the table with the forks and spoons.” He gives Nova a sideways glance. “Should she be out in the sun like this? Somebody might have an umbrella if she needs it.”

“The hat’s probably enough,” Kurt says. “She really can’t see anything as far as the field, but I think she likes hearing everything. It’s probably quieter than home.”

“Oh. Okay.” Casey still looks dubious as he turns towards the field again. “Here we go.”

For the first quarter, they do manage to keep it to touch-only, and no one scores. It’s shortly into the second quarter, however, when one of the other 2017ers decides that the game is just not serious enough. Within three downs, it’s escalated to full-blown tackle, or at least as close to full-blown as they dare without pads. 

“So,” Karofsky jokes with Finn after a first down, “are we a better o-line than the Bears?”

“Man, you never would’ve let the Pats through,” Finn agrees. “McKinley’s o-line spoiled me.”

“David is going to need two ice packs,” Casey says to Kurt. “How many will Finn need? I can go ahead and make some.”

“I think we’ll just skip straight to the pain relief,” Kurt answers, sighing slightly, because he knows Finn won’t use an ice pack, because he’ll insist he isn’t hurt and therefore has no need for an ice pack. He can see Noah muttering something to Karofsky, and assumes Noah can tell more about Finn’s shoulder than Kurt can see. 

Whatever it is Noah says, Karofsky must take it seriously, because on the next play, Karofsky crosses to the other side to take down one of the 2017ers trying to rush Finn. 

“Put him on his ass, David!” Casey screams. Kurt turns towards Casey and raises an eyebrow. Casey shrugs one shoulder and grins. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Better than Finn on his ass, so I approve,” Kurt says wryly. “Do you think we’ll get a halftime show?”

“I never did get to see the Single Ladies video from you guys’ sophomore year,” Casey laments. 

“I could see if the Peas could do it,” Kurt muses. Halftime comes and goes without a show, however, and as they start to line up for the third quarter, Mike stops and holds out a hand.  
“I think we need to get the girls in here!” he says, gesturing towards Tina. Tina laughs and stands up, waving at Lauren and Mercedes. 

“Oh, no,” Mercedes says, shaking her head with a laugh. “I’m not playing this time.” 

“I’m in,” Lauren declares. “Artie, you sure you don’t want to play a quarter?”

“I’m sure,” Artie says. “But I’ll hold your drink.”

“At least it’s historically accurate,” Kurt says, then winces. “Oh god, we’re historical.” This time, there’s a touchdown scored, and then Noah nudges Finn and says something before turning towards Kurt. 

“Hey, blue eyes!” Noah yells. “We need someone to kick the extra point!” 

Kurt sighs and turns towards Casey, whose eyes widen almost comically. “Can you—”

“Please no,” Casey says, in a very small voice.

“It’ll just be a moment. She’s dry and not hungry,” Kurt explains. “Really, she’s much easier than Harvey was. Or Eliza, for that matter.” 

“I’m not good with babies,” Casey protests. “Babies don’t like me.”

“Nova likes almost everyone,” Kurt says, shifting Nova towards Casey. “Just support her neck, she’s only three weeks old.” He carefully hands Nova to Casey before standing up. “Daddy’ll be right back, Nova; your Papa and your Dad just need some help for a moment.” 

“Ohmigod,” Casey mutters to himself as Kurt starts to walk away. “She’s going to die. _I_ am going to die.”

“What’d you do to Casey?” Noah asks as Kurt walks up. “He looks terrified.”

“Something about he and Nova dying?” Kurt shrugs. 

“Hey!” Karofsky grins at Kurt. “How’d you get Casey to hold the baby?”

“I just handed her to him?” Kurt says. “I suppose I technically didn’t give him much choice.” 

“Yeah, he’s not quite got her up against him,” Karofsky notes, staring at Casey with Nova. Casey raises the hand not being used to hold Nova and gives Karofsky a small wave. 

“Well, let’s get this ball through the uprights so I can reclaim the baby,” Kurt says with a slight grin. “After all, while Finn’s busy, I can actually hold her.” 

“Maybe I should sit out a few downs,” Noah jokes. 

“Hey!” Finn protests. “I’m not that bad!”

“You are a little bit,” Kurt says, his grin growing wider. “How are you going to cope this evening?” 

“Shhhh,” Finn says, putting his fingers to his ears. “Not talking about it!”

Kurt kicks the extra point easily, then goes back to reclaim Nova from a still–stiff Casey. Nova blinks up at him and he laughs. “Hi, little girl. Are you a football fan yet?” 

“I think she, um. Pooped,” Casey says, looking uncomfortable. 

“Oh, you might be right.” Kurt makes a face at Nova then looks back at the game. “Finn!”

“Poop?” Finn calls back.

“Poop,” Kurt agrees, nodding. 

“Timeout!” Finn shouts. “Gotta do a thing.”

There’s a few strange looks, especially from the other team, but Tina laughs knowingly as Finn comes over. He holds his arms out for Nova.

“There’s my poopy girl!” Finn says as Kurt hands Nova to him. “Let’s go get you clean so Dad can finish whipping those kids at football.”

 

Finn takes another sip of his beer, then points across the room. “Woman in the flower print dress. No clue who she is, but she’s got a name tag, so she was in our class.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Noah admits, following Finn’s finger with his eyes. “Did she get an award? Those superlative things.”

“Shit. Yes. She’s…” Finn scrunches up his eyes and tries his hardest to remember her name, but doesn’t come up with anything. “Girl from my Spanish class. That’s all I’ve got.”

“Spanish class girl, check,” Noah says, laughing. “What I want to know about are those people who were voted ‘Most Creative’.”

“Maybe they, uh. Paint or something,” Finn offers. He scans the room again, this time catching Rachel staring at him—or, more accurately, glaring at him—from a table on the opposite side of the dance floor. Jesse, seated next to her, keeps taking desperate-looking sips from a very full glass of red wine. When Jesse notices Finn, they exchange a polite head nod. “Poor Jesse.”

Noah laughs again. “He looks like he’s on the verge of telling her to stop staring at his boss.” He takes a sip of his own beer. “Well, K’s still the best-dressed.” 

“Best undressed, too,” Finn says. “Not currently, but in general.”

“This is a public venue,” Noah points out. “He might be later. Oh, heyyy, look at that guy over there.” He points towards a slightly overweight man gesturing largely with his beer. 

“Pudgy blond kid from the hockey team?” Finn guesses. “Or is that what’s-his-face from football?”

“I thought maybe it was the baseball guy,” Noah admits. “The one you punched.”

“No, I saw him by the bar. Bald now. Married that girl with the really grating voice.”

“The weak ankles!” Noah laughs. “Their kids’ll have no hair _and_ bad ankles.”

“Like flamingos,” Finn says.

“Flamingos are probably better looking.”

“I should have brought Syd as my date,” Finn muses. “You know she loves these kinds of things. And by loves I mean enjoys the buffet.”

“Two dates aren’t enough for you?” Noah says, grinning. “I’m surprised you didn’t try to convince us Nova was your date.”

“She’s just so little to leave at home without us,” Finn says.

“She’ll have fun. As much fun as a three week old can have, anyway. And it gives Audrey a chance to spend time with her.”

“Yeah,” Finn says. He sighs and settles back in his chair, finishing his beer. “I don’t know what to say to her. Audrey, not Nova.”

“Yeah, well, that’s all on Carole and Burt, not us,” Noah says. “If they manage to make it to Nationals, it’s not like Schue’s going to stop her from seeing us, at least.” 

“You don’t think Mom would send a note or something that says she can’t see us, right?” Finn asks. 

“She hasn’t even figured out the Shelby and Beth loophole yet,” Noah points out. “Anyway, I’m not sure Schue would listen to her. He didn’t look very happy when you two were talking, and I don’t mean unhappy with you or Audrey.”

“Yeah. If nothing else, Schue’s always been in our corner,” Finn says. “I think half the time he had no clue what corner it was, but he was in it anyway.”

“I think he’s going to be more upset about Beth graduating than Shelby,” Noah says wryly. “And not just because it makes him feel old.” 

“At least he’ll have Aud for a couple more years.”

“Now, I’m pretty sure Aud’d like to leave at the end of the year, with Beth,” Noah says. “Beth said she’s seen Audrey looking at a few things about graduating early.” 

“That’s our smart girl,” Finn says, smiling. “She should look at the schools in New York. She can save all that money on housing by living with us.”

Noah laughs. “Can’t you just see someone trying to figure us out then?” He takes another drink of his beer. “Who’s that Kurt’s talking to?”

“No clue,” Finn says. “I don’t think I ever had a class with that girl.”

“Maybe she was in French with him?” Noah guesses. 

“Maybe so,” Finn says. He watches as Tina approaches Kurt and the possibly–from–French woman. Tina takes Kurt by the hand and drags him towards the dance floor. Finn laughs and then looks over at Noah. “Hey, asshole. You wanna dance?”

“You’re going to make me lead, aren’t you?” Noah retorts, already standing up. 

“And that’s why you’re still the smart one after all these years,” Finn says.

“Yeah, yeah.” Noah pulls Finn close once they reach the dance floor. “At least this time you’re not going to look all funny when I put my hand on your ass.” 

“‘When’, huh? Not ‘if’?”

“Any reason why I shouldn’t?” Noah asks, his hand sliding lower on Finn’s back. 

“None that I can think of,” Finn answers. 

Noah grins, and his hand slips down to Finn’s ass. “That’s what I thought, asshole.”

 

“And her face!” Beth says. “Mom says it’s not nice to laugh about it, but Audrey imitated it and I could just picture what Carole must’ve looked like.” Beth laughs. “You _stole_ his baby, Papa.”

Noah laughs along with her. “Yeah, that’s completely it. Definitely.” He looks up at the clock. “Shouldn’t you attempt to sleep?”

“You have to work!” Beth says. 

“Nope, tomorrow’s Tuesday,” Noah says smugly. “And even if I did, theatre. Late to bed, late to rise. We’re like the anti-Ben Franklin.” 

“Maybe I should rethink my intended major,” Beth says. “Okay, okay. Good night!”

“Night, Bethie.” Noah ends the call and plugs his phone in before grabbing three beers and leaving the office. He peeks at Nova, sleeping in her bassinet, before he flops down on the bed, listening to Finn and Kurt in the shower, and grins. When the water stops, he sits up and opens the beers, then takes off his own clothes before crawling back in the bed, under the covers. Finn walks into the bedroom a few minutes later, hair still dripping wet. “Did you forget to shake?” Noah asks, handing over one of the beers. 

Finn shakes his head, sending water flying, while he holds his beer out to the side. “Better?”

“Asshole.” Noah leans forward and gives Finn a quick kiss. “You waited on purpose.”

“I totally did,” Finn agrees. He climbs into bed next to Noah and takes a sip of his beer. “You have a nice talk with Beth?”

“Oh, wait ’til you hear.” Noah snorts. “Beth’s got allll the Lima news.”

“There’s news from Lima?” Kurt asks as he walks in, picking up the remaining beer and climbing into bed on the opposite side of Noah. Noah turns towards him and gives him a kiss before Kurt continues. “Did a traffic light burn out?”

“They raised the speed limit by five miles per hour?” Finn guesses.

“Neither.” Noah laughs. “Schue decided at Invitationals on Saturday to congratulate Burt and Carole.” 

“For…?” Kurt asks. 

“On their new granddaughter, of course,” Noah says, smirking. 

“Ohhhh,” Finn says. “How’d that go over?”

“Beth said that they spluttered for a bit and Schue acted oblivious, talking about how cute she was and all of that.” Noah shakes his head. “We should send Schue a gift basket or something. So they go home and Beth waits to hear from Audrey about it, and Audrey calls yesterday – Sunday morning. They demanded to know if we had another baby, and Audrey just showed them the announcement off the _Milk_ page.” 

“Didn’t even want to go into _Trois_.” Kurt nods. “That makes sense.”

“Carole apparently _flipped_ ,” Noah relates. “Beth said Audrey imitated Carole’s face, as she ranted about how that baby looked like Finn and that K and I—wait for it—we _stole Finn’s baby_.” 

“Oh, shit, you did?” Finn asks, grinning at Noah. “Which one?”

“Right?” Noah laughs and takes a long drink of his beer. “So eventually Audrey was like, screw it, I guess, and showed her the _real_ birth announcement.”

“Did she show Burt too?” Kurt asks. 

“Yep.” Noah smirks and nods. “Then Carole apparently went on a rant about how a baby couldn’t have three parents.”  
“That’s kind of funny, since all our kids have three parents,” Finn notes.

“Lots of people have three parents,” Noah agrees. “I think maybe Burt actually calmed her down? So Audrey was supposed to hang out with Beth last night, but she sent her a message instead that she didn’t want Carole to guess at our whole loophole.”

“Also a good plan,” Kurt notes. “So is Carole still on the warpath?”

“Beth said Audrey called her a few hours ago and said after dinner, Burt asked Audrey for pictures.”

“Did Aud show him?” Finn asks.

“Beth said Audrey showed him a few. I think from when we were in town, not any that we’d sent her. I mean, it’s good he asked, I guess? But that really put her in a weird spot.” Noah shrugs and drinks more of his beer. 

“Have they tried to keep her from Beth and Shelby?” Kurt asks quietly, and Noah shakes his head. 

“No. Not yet, at least.”

“Did Mom ask to see any pictures?” Finn asks. “Or was she too busy being pissed about this so-called baby theft?”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Noah admits. “Beth didn’t say, so I don’t know if Audrey didn’t tell her, or it was a definite no, she didn’t ask. Probably she was still stuck on the baby theft or the three-parent thing.” 

Finn sighs. “Ok, I guess I’ll text Audrey tomorrow during her lunch period and try to get more information. I just want to make sure she’s not getting any shit from Mom about this.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea. I mean, she tells Beth most things, and sometimes I get a little bit more or a different side of it from something she tells Shelby, but you know she’s not telling them everything.” Noah finishes off his beer and leans across to put it on one of the bedside tables. “Minor miracle tonight – Nova’s still asleep.”

“Are you trying to hint at something, baby?” Kurt asks. 

Noah grins. “Oh, definitely.”

 

Because Finn’s the only one who’ll take Burt’s calls, and has been the only one who’s done so consistently over the past two years, Finn isn’t surprised when his phone rings the Thursday morning after he texts with Audrey. At least Burt waited until Finn was in the office to call, which is an improvement over some of the earlier calls, before Burt figured out that Finn’s willingness to talk to him doesn’t extend to mornings, weekends, or Tuesdays. 

“Hey, Dad,” Finn says.

“Well, Finn,” Burt begins, sounding like he’s not entirely sure what to say. Finn doesn’t respond, and after almost a minute of silence, Burt sighs and continues, “I sure do wish you’d told us we had a new grandkid.”

“Well, Dad,” Finn says, “I sure do wish we had the kind of relationship where we could tell you that kind of stuff, but we don’t have that.”

“Finn, you know that your mom and I—”

“No,” Finn cuts him off. “I know exactly what she thinks, because she told me. She told me in great detail what she thinks about me, about Kurt and Noah, and about our kids. And you pretty much said you agreed with her, so I don’t think you’ve really got anything else to say about that, unless the two of you have changed your minds about it.”

Burt sighs again. “She’s a real pretty little girl,” he says.

“Yeah, she is,” Finn agrees.

“Looks a lot like you,” Burt says.

“Makes sense,” Finn responds. “Kids tend to look like their parents.”

“Audrey says that it’s Kurt and Noah who are listed as her parents on the birth certificate,” Burt says. 

“That’s usually the way it works with birth certificates,” Finn says. “They put the parents on there.”

“Finn,” Burt says. “Come on now. You know what I’m talking about.”

“You know me. Never was the smart one, right?” 

“Your mom’s real upset that you—”

“That I _what_ , Burt?” Finn asks sharply. “Let them ‘steal’ her or whatever it is she called it to Audrey? That I don’t need my name on her birth certificate to be her father? Or maybe she’s just upset that we’ve got one more kid to raise in our— what was it she called it? Abnormal relationship?”

“I don’t think it’s fair that you hold everything your mom says against her,” Burt protests. “You three have been punishing us for two years now, Finn. Don’t you think your kids should know their grandparents?”

“Not if their grandparents are going to tell them that their fathers are bad for them, or suggest that two of them would be better off with the woman who was _starving_ Charlie. Do you know how long it took to get Eliza to stop apologizing when she slouched at the piano bench?” Finn demands. 

“We don’t know all the particulars of what happened with Rachel, because you never—”

“No, I’m not rehashing that anymore,” Finn says. “What I did or didn’t say, what you and Mom did or didn’t hear, I’m not going over that anymore. Got it?”

“Can you tell me more about the baby, at least?” Burt asks. 

“What do you want to know?”

“Audrey says you’re calling her Nova. Is that right?”

“Yeah, her name is Nova. November June Hudson-Hummel’s a long name for a little girl,” Finn says. 

“I guess it is,” Burt concedes. “You got any more pictures you’d be willing to send me? I saw all the ones Audrey got from Beth, but if there’s any more, I sure would love to see ’em. I’d love to see _her_ , and I know your mom would, too. It would mean a lot.”

“I’ll talk to Kurt and Noah. We’ll decide on some pictures to send,” Finn says. “That’s the most I can promise right now.”

“I guess that’ll have to do for now, but it’s still a sad situation,” Burt says. 

“Yeah. Choices have consequences, I guess,” Finn says. “I’ve got to go. I’ll send some pictures over later.” He ends the call without waiting for Burt to respond. A few pictures won’t hurt, but he’s not committing to anything more, not yet. 

 

Part of Noah wishes that among the few pictures that have been sent to Burt and Carole, he could manage to slip in a file that actually just contains a message for them, but he refrains. In the month since they were in Lima, there’s been more contact than the last nearly two years put together, but nothing’s resolved. 

“I don’t want to deal with it over Thanksgiving,” Noah says, the older three asleep and Nova happily eating in Finn’s arms. “I guess that’s selfish, but we’ve got our Tuesday and all of the things we like to do that week, and we have no idea what’ll happen.” 

“That is true,” Kurt concedes.

“We don’t have to deal with it at all, if you guys don’t want to,” Finn says. “If you want to leave things how they are, that’s what we’ll do. We’ve all been doing ok for the last two years.”

Noah just shrugs and looks at Kurt, because in the end, Noah’s not invested in quite the same way, and it’ll be Kurt’s decision anyway. 

“If it were just about _me_ , or the three of us, I wouldn’t,” Kurt says slowly. “But Audrey’s involvement alone makes it somewhat necessary to see where we can go with it.” 

“And Eliza,” Finn admits. “Ok, so, we’ll see where it goes. I don’t know about having them over to the house though, do you?”

“If Safiya’s got the kids, it probably doesn’t matter where,” Noah points out. “Better if the kids don’t know about it.”

“The real question is whether or not they’ll discuss anything of substance if they perceive themselves to be in public.” Kurt shrugs. “And I don’t know the answer to that question.” 

“Are we going to discuss anything of substance if we meet them here, though?” Finn asks. 

“At some point there has to be?” Kurt says. “Really, the advantage to here is that we’re on familiar ground.”

“Home field advantage,” Noah says, snickering slightly. 

“I’m not really thrilled about it,” Finn says. “I keep thinking about the last time they were here and how that went.”

“True. Things didn’t go appreciably better away from here, though,” Kurt points out. “You’re the one that’s had any contact. Are they coming to argue or is there any sort of hat-in-hand attitude?”

“I think Burt’s willing to suck it up and behave for the sake of seeing the kids, but I have no idea what Mom’s going to do,” Finn says. “She’s been pissed about this for sixteen years.”

“Yeah, but K’s been pissed about her being pissed just as long,” Noah says, grinning. “You could argue we don’t know what he’s going to do either.” Kurt rolls his eyes and then smirks a little. 

“Fine, you might be right,” Kurt concedes. “Within certain limits.” 

“The difference is, whatever Kurt does, we’ll probably be ok with it,” Finn says.

“I promise not to do anything permanent,” Kurt says. “Unlike you, darling, with your tattoos.” Kurt frowns. “I think I just promised not to forcibly tattoo either of them.” 

“Excellent restraint, blue eyes.”

“You _like_ my tattoos,” Finn points out. 

“Also true.” Kurt grins. “We’re about to get far afield. If they come out here, when should we tell them to come?” 

“I agree that I don’t want anything messing up our Tuesday,” Finn says. “Maybe when Aud’s out for winter break.”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Noah agrees. “We have enough happening that they could just join in on, if they behave, and if not, well.” He shrugs. “Carole probably should be careful. Nana might let her have it.” 

“I would honestly pay money to watch that,” Kurt says. “Wouldn’t you?” 

“I just want to get through a visit without somebody having to yell,” Finn admits. “But we should have Nana on standby, just in case.”

 

Kurt isn't really sure what he wants to say to Burt when he sees him. He has a lot of things he'd like to say to Carole, but none of them lead down a road of reconciliation, and he'll have to either save them, if Carole is horrid to Finn, or just use them on Michelle at a therapy session. Burt, though, is a different case, and he doesn't know even where to start. 

Noah has said, very seriously, that he needs to not be the one to open the door, because he might decide to flip them off and then slam the door closed again. Kurt knows it's probably true, too; Noah's been very careful not to really say anything too overtly negative about either Burt or Carole, but he's also the one not related to Burt or Carole, and as much as Kurt hates watching any pain Finn has from all of it, he's sure it's not fun for Noah to watch both of them. 

In the end, though, Kurt's doing it for Audrey, and for Eliza, not just for himself or Finn. For the Peas, too, but Eliza's had more happen to her that she can remember, enough that she'd held back a bit at the reunion, like she had wanted not to get too attached again to Audrey. She's the one who remembers Christmases and Hanukkahs and Thanksgivings and even birthdays with Burt and Carole, too. Kurt would dearly love the chance to point out to Burt and Carole that they had hurt Eliza far more by their attitudes than she's hurt by anyone in the neighborhood or at her school caring that she has three fathers. 

School ends for the winter break on Thursday around noon, the day before Christmas Eve, and the seven of them go out to lunch before heading back to the house. Safiya takes them upstairs without comment, and Noah closes the door to the stairs, something they rarely do, before they sit in the living room and wait, the curtains pulled. 

The doorbell rings, and Kurt exhales loudly, watching Noah's hands unconsciously tapping out a melody on his leg. 

“It’s not too late to change our minds,” Finn says. “We can just not answer the door.”

“Or we could escort them downstairs and lock them in the guest room?” Noah says jokingly. 

“I suppose I’d better, before people walking by get upset,” Kurt says as the doorbell rings again. He stands and walks to the foyer, taking a deep breath before opening the door. Burt and Carole are standing there, without Audrey, and while Carole looks somewhat defiant, Burt merely looks older, and Kurt barely contains himself from visibly wincing. He exhales again and steps backward. “Well, come in.” 

“It’s good to see you, son,” Burt says as he walks through the door. He puts his arms up as he approaches Kurt, and Kurt awkwardly wraps one arm around Burt briefly before leading them into the living room. He bites back a grin when he sees that Noah has moved, his head leaning on Finn’s shoulder as they sit. 

“Hello, Finn,” Carole says stiffly, looking around the room like she doesn’t know what to say or do. 

“Hello, Mom,” Finn replies. He puts his arm around Noah. 

“Have a seat,” Kurt says to Burt and Carole as he sits down on the other side of Finn. 

Burt and Carole both sit, Burt glancing in the direction of the door to upstairs. “Are the kids here?”

“I already told you on the phone that we weren’t involving the kids until we’d all talked,” Finn says. 

“I’m just wondering if we can see them later if it goes well,” Burt explains. 

“They don’t know you’re in town,” Kurt says, because he wants to make sure Burt and Carole understand that this is not merely a formality. “So we’d need at least a few moments with Eliza.” 

Carole frowns at Kurt. “You mean Finn needs to speak with Eliza.”

“No,” Kurt says, “I meant exactly—”

“No, Mom,” Finn interjects. “He means _we_ need to speak with Eliza. We as in all three of us, because she’s our kid, ours as in all three of us.”

“Finn.” Carole sighs heavily. “I suppose I can understand the impulse to try to forget things that were clearly unhappy for you, but I’m sorry— Eliza and Charlie are your children, and Harvey is theirs.” She pauses, frowning deeply. “I don’t even know how to address the confusion the baby’s going to have.” 

“This was a bad idea,” Finn says, standing. “We never should have agreed to this.”

“Her name is Nova,” Kurt says to Carole. “And you’re probably correct, darling. Though they’re the ones that should have to leave, not us.” 

“Finn, Carole, both of you, just wait a second, will you?” Burt says. He puts his hand on top of Carole’s and gestures at Finn to sit again. “Tempers are running a little hot, but we came here because we wanted to make things right between all of us, right?” He directs the question to Carole, but keeps his eyes on Finn.

Carole keeps frowning, but she nods jerkily after a moment. “Right.”

Finn sits, but remains tense, resting both his hands on his knees with palms down, like he’s resisting the urge to make a fist. Kurt puts hand on Finn’s forearm, running it slowly down until he picks up Finn’s hand and squeezes it gently. The sofa squeaks slightly as Noah moves back against Finn’s side, and Kurt turns towards Burt. 

“If the two of you are going to stay, you’re going to have to accept that the children are all ours. No dividing them up, no discussion about some ‘confusion’ you’ve made up.” Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Can you do that?”

“We can do that,” Burt replies, looking at Carole and nodding. “Carole?”

There’s another long silence before Carole nods. “Fine.” 

“So now what?” Burt asks. “What do we have to do to prove whatever it is we have to prove to be able to have a relationship with our grandkids?”

“You know exactly why we terminated contact. Because you cannot disrespect their parents. Or the relationship the three of us have. So far I’m seeing regret on your parts that we followed through, but not anything else.” Kurt sighs and grips Finn’s hand more tightly. 

“You can’t force us to approve of something we don’t approve of,” Carole says. “I can’t _endorse_ this as how I’d like my grandchildren raised.” 

“That’s the thing, Mom,” Finn says quietly. “I don’t actually give a shit if you approve of it or not.”

“Kurt just said all of that about disrespect,” Carole argues, and Kurt isn’t sure she could frown much more deeply without causing herself some kind of facial pain. 

“I don’t care what you think about us,” Finn says, louder now. “I don’t care what you say about us when you go back to Ohio. I really don’t care if you think there’s something wrong with me or us. What I care about is my family and my kids, and that anyone who comes into this house at least _pretends_ to respect my family in front of my kids.”

“And yes, we’ll probably realize it’s not real, but the appearance of it is what we’re looking for, at a minimum,” Kurt adds. 

“I’m certainly not saying anything to anyone in Lima,” Carole says, and Kurt resists the urge to roll his eyes. He has a feeling that if he checked, though, Noah probably is not resisting. “May I ask a question?” 

“You can ask. We may or may not answer,” Finn says. 

“ _Why_ did the three of you decide to add another child to your lives?” Carole asks. 

“You’ve met Finn, right?” Noah says with a snort. “Finn, babies…”

“Mom, the only reason I went through with marrying Rachel to begin with was that she was pregnant,” Finn says. “And the only reason I stayed with her as long as I did was because of the girls. They’re the reason I finally left her, too. I _love_ our kids. I wanted us to have a chance to raise at least one of them together from birth.”

“Though at least Nova’s not as, uh. _Needy_ as Harvey was,” Noah says quietly. 

“No baby is,” Kurt agrees. “And while Finn and Noah are correct, I’m not sure why you would ask the question.” 

“It’s certainly different than merely combining households.” Carole looks at Burt, possibly for support. 

“Just like when you guys had Audrey,” Finn points out. “It’s not the first time somebody’s had a baby in a blended family. We wanted Nova, we have Nova, end of story.”

“Well, we hadn’t _exactly_ planned on having Audrey,” Burt says with a small chuckle. 

“But we did plan Nova,” Finn says. 

“You _do_ realize that the genetics isn’t exactly that important to us?” Kurt says, looking between Burt and Carole. “While we certainly appreciate on some level the fact that all of the kids are genetically related, if they weren’t, or weren’t genetically related to any of us at all, they’d still be our kids.”

“So no more of that ‘baby stealing’ shit,” Finn adds, giving Carole a hard stare. “No more of the my kids, their kids shit. _Our_ kids, all three of us. Our kids, our family, our house. If you’re expecting me to back down on any of that, you can just go ahead and leave now.”

“And nothing about how we hid things or lied, either,” Kurt says, looking pointedly at Burt. 

“We did what we had to do to protect ourselves and our kids,” Finn adds. 

“If you truly _want_ to understand more, instead of referring to our relationship as ‘this’ or in derogatory ways, we can talk about that. But we’re not going to just give you more ammunition, either,” Kurt says firmly. 

“It seems rather straightforward,” Carole said. “For whatever reason, the two of you decided to… add Finn in.” 

“If that’s what it takes for you to understand it, fine,” Finn says. 

“No,” Noah says, shaking his head. “It’s not two plus one. It’s all three of us, and it’s the two of them, and it’s Finn and I, and it’s Kurt and I. But it’s not two plus one.” 

“I don’t think I understand,” Carole says, looking more confused than angry, at least. 

“Technically speaking, we’re a polyfidelitous triad,” Kurt says. “The three of us have a relationship, and within it, there are three couples. Polyamory, though not the way it’s commonly presented.” 

“I’ll be honest with you, that’s making me more confused, not less,” Burt says.

“It means the relationships are equal,” Finn says. “Me and Kurt, me and Noah, Noah and Kurt. They’re all just as important and just as real, and what all three of us have together, that’s just as real, too. Or more real, even.”

“Alright, it’s real,” Burt agrees. “Your triad thing. I can respect that. I can definitely show respect for it in front of the kids.”

“That’s all we want,” Finn says. He smiles a little sadly at Carole. “And don’t worry, Mom. I’m not really hanging on to any hope that you can just be happy for what I have and where I am. I just need you to pretend. That’s enough.”

“This is not what I wanted for you,” Carole admits. “Surely as a parent, you—” she cuts herself off and shakes her head. “It’s not what I would have chosen for you, at all,” she reiterates. 

“That’s why parents don’t get to choose for their kids, I guess,” Finn says. “I’m happy with my life. This is exactly what I wanted from it. I just hope my kids are able to find things and people who’ll make them as happy as I am.”

Carole nods slowly. “I’ll— I’ll act as I need to act here.” 

“That’s all we’re asking for, Mom.”

“Does that mean we get to meet this new baby?” Burt asks. “It’s been a while since I’ve held a new grandbaby.” He looks at Kurt expectantly.

Kurt laughs and looks over at Finn. “That’s assuming you can get her away from Finn, you know.” 

“And yeah, you sometimes are that bad,” Noah adds. 

“I can probably share a little just this once,” Finn concedes. “But I’m not setting any kind of precedent here, so don’t get too excited.”

 

Filling seven stockings takes longer than Noah expects, which means it must be exponential like the laundry, but finally everyone’s is filled, and the three of them are lying in bed, Finn’s arms around them, and Noah puts his head on Finn’s chest as Kurt does the same. 

“Well, we didn’t have to call in Nana,” Noah says after a few quiet moments. 

“I just hope Aud’s gift is extravagant enough to make up for the fact that she had Charlie stuck to one leg and Eliza stuck to the other for two days straight,” Finn muses. He runs his hand down Noah’s back. 

“I’m not completely sure that anyone but Nova actually noticed anyone but Audrey,” Kurt agrees, sounding amused. “They could have just dropped Audrey off.” 

“At least Nova seemed to like her Grandma and Grandpa at least a little bit,” Finn says. “She didn’t cry too much. Mom and Burt seemed happy about it.”

“They’re quieter,” Noah offers, grinning. “The real question is how long the Peas are going to let us sleep in the morning.” 

“If it’s too early, I’m sending them back to bed,” Kurt replies. “Holidays are more fun if everyone’s enjoying them.” 

“Yeah, like you could get the Peas back to bed once they figure out Santa’s been here,” Finn laughs. “Good luck with that, bossofme.”

“I could,” Kurt argues. “Because I’m the bossofthem too.”

“K’s right,” Noah says. “If anyone could, it’d be him. But there’s probably more enjoyable things to be doing now.”

“Oh yeah?” Finn’s hand slips down and grabs Noah’s ass. “Like what?”

Noah fakes a yawn and moves his head to grin at Finn. “Oh, I just meant sleep.”

Kurt snorts. “I don’t believe him, darling. Do you?”

“Nope. He’s a lying liar who lies.”

“Well, if you’ve got a better idea, asshole,” Noah says, still grinning, “then let’s hear it. Or you could just show us.” 

“Showing you sounds like a good plan,” Finn says. He tilts his head down to kiss Noah, then says, “Merry Christmas, asshole.”

Kurt laughs from Finn’s other side, and Noah watches him shift, his lips against Finn’s neck. “I think it’s time to stop talking now.” 

Finn laughs, too, and tightens his arms around both of them. Finn turns to kiss Kurt, and Noah buries his face against Finn’s neck as he slides his arm around Kurt’s back. The kids’ll wake them up early, regardless of whatever Kurt tries, but there’s plenty of coffee in the kitchen if they’re running low on sleep. Whatever anyone else might think, they’re happy, and as Noah shifts closer again, he briefly thinks that overall, they don’t have regrets. Like Finn said, they’re all happy, right there in their house on Central Park West, with all of their kids, and Noah wouldn’t change a thing.


End file.
